


Warriors: Arryn Mauntelle

by LadyAudentium, LadySonolia



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bull's Chargers, F/M, Iron Bull being Iron Bull, Modern Girl in Thedas, Pre-Dragon Age: Inquisition
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2018-06-03 10:40:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 93,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6607654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyAudentium/pseuds/LadyAudentium, https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySonolia/pseuds/LadySonolia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First our apartment blows up, then we're thrown into a green version of hell. Somehow after that we manage to escape said hell, only to be thrown into an unknown world where we're forced to survive on our own in the wilderness before we're captured by slavers. Thankfully we, or well, I was rescued by a horned demon claiming to lead a company of mercenaries.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hymn for the Missing- Slavers

**So here is something that a friend and I have been working on for a good while now, but only just recently have I gotten around to writing my part. There's a parallel story to this one that she will be putting up under her account of LadySonolia so be sure to check out her version for the other half of the story! I'll also be putting a link to it in the description once she does post it as well.**  

**Also please be aware that this story is rated M. There will be harsh violence and in some places, abuse (not from Bull though) as well as other such adult themes later on. After all this is BULL we're mostly focusing on here so don't be surprised.**

**I was originally going to split this chapter in two but I couldn't find a good place to do so, so here it is in all its glory!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age or any of it's characters and/or places occurring in this story. I do, however, own any OCs (the Inquisitor does not count as one) that may appear.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Waking up was absolute hell. My head pounded like I had the worst hangover of my life. Aches persisted all over my body resulting in a hurt that I'd never experienced before. I tried to sit up from the lying down position that I was currently in only to find my arms were tied behind my back and my legs tied at the ankles. Confusion and fear replaced the only thought of pain that was present in my head. The next thing I noticed was that I was not stationary. A particularly large bump in the road jostled me and caused my head to hit the hard wooden floor I was lying on.

The agony radiated through my skull and it felt like it lasted an eternity but in reality it was probably only a couple seconds. Either way, however, it knocked me back into the black abyss that was my escape from reality.

I next woke to what felt like someone trying to rip all the hair out of my scalp at once. I cried out in hurt and tried to bring my hands up to relive the pulling to find that once again my hands were tied behind my back. I tried to open my eyes but the light from a fire blinded my eyeballs that were used to the dark.

"Looks like the wench is awake now." The ass holding my hair stated right before he let go and I fell face first into the dirt being unable to use my hands to break the fall and the rest of my body was too weak to hold myself up. There was a round of laughter from the people sitting around the burning logs and I grit my teeth as I tried to pull myself up only to be kicked back down by the same one that put me there in the first place. Another round of laughter followed my humiliation and this time I rolled away from my assaulter before attempting to get back on my feet. This time I made it to my knees before a kick between my shoulder blades once again sent me into the dirt.

"It would seem that this southern whore doesn't know when to stay down." Growled a second man as I felt a boot be placed on the back of my head. Pressure began to be applied and I could feel my face start to press into the gravel. Snarling I quickly turned my head to the side and slipped out from beneath his boot. Adrenaline leant strength to my weakened body as I leaned back and glared up at the burly man towering above me.

"Fuck you." I swore at him and before I could even register what had happened, the left side of my face was on fire and I was falling to the ground once again. Had… had one of them _slapped_ me? My brain had trouble focusing on what had just happened while I felt my wrists being untied.

Once I felt the scratchy rope loosen from my wrists I immediately started to struggle. Strong hands tightly gripped my upper arms, however, and prevented me from doing anything. Not to mention that my feet were still bound, so that prevented me from going anywhere. Or at least, anywhere fast. After that they began to drag me outside of the circle of light that the fire created to the tree line where everything was considerably darker.

"Southern wenches have no respect for their betters." The same gruff man acknowledged as my arms were dragged around the width of the tree. A sinking feeling in my gut told me I knew what was going to happen next, but my brain didn't want to recognize it as being true. "The lash will teach you what happens when a lesser being doesn't learn to hold their tongue in the presence of superiors." He finished and the two who had dragged my arms around the tree tied them tightly with a new piece of rope before they ripped open the back of my shirt, moved my hair off my back and then walked away from me. The sound of something slithering across the ground caught my attention a moment before I heard a crack and fire suddenly sprouted across my back in a line too straight to be anything but intentional.

I screamed like I'd never screamed before in my life. My vision blacked out for a second before another white hot line burst open on my skin and another cry ripped itself from the very depths of my vocal cords. Hot liquid streamed down my back which only further intensified the unimaginable agony I was going through. A third lash tore open my already badly damaged back and I think I shrieked again but my mind was already shutting down. Blackness began to creep into the edges of my vision and I felt like a fourth lash just as it engulfed me completely.

* * *

_After a day of work, I was finally back home at our apartment that I shared with my best friend and subsequent roommate Sophi. Her real name was something longer but I never used it because it was too damn complicated. My keys jangled with their many keychains as I brought them out to unlock the door to our abode. Swinging the door open I walked into the small apartment._

_It wasn't anything special. There was a long hallway that ran down the center of the room that had two bedrooms on the right at the far end as well as a bathroom on the left across from the last bedroom. Near the door, there was the living room on the right a dining room on the left with the kitchen just beyond it._

_There was a shout of "Hey!" from down the hall and I look up to see Sophi standing at the end just outside her bedroom. She had golden blonde hair that reached to just below her shoulders, currently it was in a braid that hung over her shoulder, and bright green eyes that always seemed to twinkle with just barely concealed mischief. She was wearing one of her favorite outfits that involved a green and orange plaid over shirt with an orange t-shirt overtop of a dark green camisole. She had chosen her favorite pair of designer jeans to complete the ensemble. "How was your shift?" she asked me and I shrugged._

" _Meh, same old same old." Was my unspecific reply._

" _I see you went and got your hair done before your shift. How did it go?" she asked with a knowing smirk, and I proudly showed off my newly dyed blue and green ombre hair. When it was down, like it is now, it reaches to the middle of my back and its length is one of the things I love most about my hair._

" _Yup I sure did! And as you can see, it went fantastically!" Although the new bright colors were definitely a good addition. Another point of pride for me was the fact that I was taller than her. It was only by two measly inches, but nonetheless it gave me the advantage I wanted._

_She wasn't that short, but her slightly stocky and curvaceous figure, that I admittedly envy sometimes, sometimes made the illusion that she was shorter than she actually was. Her figure was much different than mine which was a little more stretched out over a finer bone structure and a slightly more athletic build._

" _That's good." She smiles brightly and I returned it with one of my own, "It looks fantastic, you made good color choices this go." I smiled wider at her compliment,_

" _Thanks, I'm really thrilled with it!" I throw my shoes off to the side and fully enter the apartment, "Alright well, I'm going to go clean up a bit before peoples start arriving for the party." I state before walking to the bathroom and closing the door behind me._

* * *

The third time I woke up from my agony induced sleep, I noticed I was wearing a very scratchy and very uncomfortable shirt that felt like it was made of raw cotton. My hair was pulled out of my face so tightly it pulled on the skin of my scalp. The same material on my body seemed to also be adorning my head, it was most likely to cover the freshly blue and green dyed hair. The next thing I tried to do was sit up, but the pain that immediately lanced through my back brought tears to my eyes. I had passed out after only the third lash, how many more had they given me?

Never in my life had I ever wished more for morphine. The pain was nearly unimaginable and I found I couldn't do anything except lie down and try to will the pain away. I tried to think of anything else other than the misery I was experiencing, but nothing could hold my attention for more than a few moments. If only Sophi were here to— a burst of adrenaline shot through my body with an almost painful jolt.

Where was Sophi?

I looked around the dimly lit cage I was being transported in only to find that I was the only living occupant. They must have her in a separate cart from me. I opened my mouth to demand to know her whereabouts only for the wounds on my back to remind me of their presence. I hesitated between risking more whipping at the hands of these monsters and knowing where my friend whom I'd cared for was. Much to my shame, I feared the former too much after experiencing it first hand and laid back down.

Tears of humiliation sprang to my eyes as I screwed them shut in an attempt to block out the nasty voice in my head telling me what a horrible, selfish human being I was for not putting my friend's safety above my own. How I shouldn't care about how many lashes they would give me for acting out and how I needed to do everything in my power to care for her. It didn't work. My sight after all, had no effect on things I could hear.

I reached up to grip the locket I always wore everyday since my twelfth birthday, only to find it wasn't in its normal place just below my collarbone. A quick and panicked search of my neck told me that I wasn't wearing it at all. More tears formed until they spilled over and started to trail down my cheeks. Those bastards! They most likely took it when they switched out my clothes for the ones I was currently wearing. A bolt of pain shot through my back reminding me that I couldn't do anything in this situation so in a state of self pity and simmering anger I laid down and continued to try and ignore the constant stinging in my back.

I wasn't quite sure how long I spent in that state of anguish with both my body and mind aching relentlessly. What I do know is we eventually stopped and there was activity with people settling down to rest. I tried to not pay any attention to what was going on outside my own little world inside the closed off cart, but I couldn't help but be curious as to what was happening.

Footsteps approached me and I could feel my body start to shake with fear. I hadn't done anything yet to deserve another whipping, what could they possibly want with me? Were they going to hurt me in other ways? My mind immediately jumped to what usually happened to captured women back home and I tightened my legs instinctively. If that's what was going to happen I wouldn't go down without a fight on that matter. It didn't matter how many times I would get whipped. The tarp covering my cage was thrown aside carelessly and a crust of bread was shoved through the bars to land in front of my face.

"Eat, you dirty whore. Can't have you dying before we make a profit off you." The disgusting man with yellowed teeth stated horribly before dropping the curtain again and walking off. I waited for a few moments to make sure no one was going to come back and try to catch me off guard before I directed my attention down to the object in front of me.

It appeared to be a regular, albeit crudely, cut piece of white bread. It wasn't necessarily thick or thin but it definitely wasn't a meal on its own.

My first reaction was to throw it back out the way it came in out of spite, but thankfully despite everything my brain managed to kick back in and let me know that was a bad idea. Not only would that likely earn me more lashes, but then I would be out of food. My stomach twisted hungrily, but I refused to sate it yet. It could be poisoned was my next thought. I continued to stare at it to try and see if I could find any abnormalities within the item. Any discolorations that might suggest tampering, or otherwise. After what I had determined to be a couple minutes at least, I decided that even if they had poisoned it, it wouldn't be enough to kill me and might even take my mind off the searing pain that was constantly lighting up my entire back.

As I took a bite of the stale bread, I could only hope Sophi was receiving better treatment than me.

* * *

_I have to say I was very pleased with how the party was progressing so far._

_As planned, Jordan had brought along one of his friends as an extra so I could do my best to try and play 'match maker' with Sophi. In my opinion she had been single for far too long. It was about time she found someone. I'd sifted through guy after guy to try and find someone that would be worthy of her and I was confident I'd found someone suitable._

_They were sitting on the couch together with their heads bowed towards each other in conversation and they were also sitting quite close. Although to be fair, it was quite loud in here, so it may have just been so they could hear each other speak without yelling. In an attempt to make them get closer, Jordan and I took seats on either side of them when a new card game was brought out._

_After a couple rounds, however, I noticed her get up and leave. I assumed she was probably just going to the bathroom and didn't think much more of it. Plus, I now had an excellent opportunity to interrogate our second subject._

" _So, how're things going between you and Sophi?" I prompted and I saw Jordan lean in on the other side to be part of the conversation. I was sure that we had identical Cheshire grins on our faces._

" _I think they're going okay, although she doesn't seem too interested." He replied nervously and I huffed with exasperation. Of course she didn't. She couldn't realize when someone was flirting with her if they brought out a fan and a matching skirt and started dancing a mating ritual._

" _Well keep trying, hopefully she'll come around." I reassured him slightly as Jordan got up and Sophi returned and immediately took the seat he had just vacated. There was a round of laughter throughout the room at his loss of seating space._

_The joviality continued for a couple more hours until everyone decided that 1:30am was a late enough night and then they slowly started to trickle out of the little apartment one by one. Once they were all gone, I turned to Sophi with a disappointed pout on my face._

" _You know, you could have at least tried to socialize with the new people… one of the guys who came with Jordan seemed like your type! I think he may have even been flirting with you a bit." I reprimanded her but she merely sighed and brushed me off._

" _Arry, you know how I feel about you trying to secretly get me together with guys. Plus I stuck around for a while and just figured I wasn't catching his eyes. We did have a good conversation but I truly don't think he was flirting. You are just bugging me." I very nearly pulled out all of my hair when she gave me the typical Sophi response of denial._

" _I am telling the truth! Without any doubt, he was flirting. Plus, even if you didn't 'catch his eye' right away you've got to at least try to get to know_ somebody _Sophi..."_

* * *

The next time the tarp was thrown aside was when there was considerably less light shining through the fabric. This time though, the door was opened and before I could do anything more than wonder what was going on, I felt a hand wrap around my ankle and yank me out of the cart. I rolled across the ground doing my best to remain as ball like as possible to avoid any unnecessary damage to my being. That said, I could feel at least one gash reopen on my back as wetness started to soak my rag I was wearing. I tried to get up and defend myself against my attacker but my arms didn't seem to be strong enough to support my weight and I merely floundered about on the ground while the rest of the group laughed heartily at my distress.

The man grabbed me by the neck and pulled me up so I could shakily stand on my own two feet. Except he didn't let go and instead began to steadily apply pressure and I could now smell the stench of alcohol on his breath. Great as if things couldn't get any worse, this asshole was tipsy, and if the grin on his face was anything to go by, he was enjoying this. The sadist. As my airway slowly became constricted, I felt my need to survive kick in and I lashed out with my nails and scratched him across his face. He cried out in pain as he let me go and I collapsed to my knees, but quickly go back to my feet and blindly turned to run the opposite direction. Hopefully it wasn't in the direction of any of this buddies, but since it was also away from the firelight I dared to have my hopes up.

"You miserable, filthy _cunt!_ " he screeched and I felt the white hot pain of a whip crack against my leg right on the inside of my right knee. I screamed louder than I'd ever screamed before, even louder than the first time I was whipped. If I thought my back had felt like agony, then the tender, soft skin behind my knee was excruciating. No longer having the strength to support me, it gave way beneath my weight and I fell face first into the dirt once again. Another lash got me across the calf of the opposite leg. I attempted to continue by crawling but another caught me across the shoulder blades and I couldn't move anymore.

Angry, stomping footsteps made their way up beside me and a large hand roughly grabbed the cloth hiding my hair and raised my head so it strained my neck backwards. Hot breath wafted over my ear as he brought his head close to mine. I tried to head-butt him, but the bastard had me in a firm grip.

"You'll regret that. I'm going to teach you a lesson like you've never learned before, you bitch. When I'm done with you, you'll wish I'd had the mercy to give you a thousand lashes before killing you." He hissed and I felt my blood run cold. He was really going to torture me and nothing I could do would convince him otherwise. In fact it might just encourage him even more. At that point he let me go and the rustling of fabric told me he was standing up. The vicious kick to my ribs immediately after told me I had been correct

The force of the hit, sent me rolling onto my already abused back which was now bleeding so profusely, the world began to spin around me. I thought I saw him step and loom over me but I wasn't sure considering that there was three of him. Blackness began to close in around the edges of my vision and I gratefully awaited the blissful release from the hell I'd been living.

A sudden cacophony of sounds to my opposite side where the camp was caught my attention slightly, but I merely chalked it up to the rest of the bastards fighting amongst themselves. Good. Let them squabble, kill yourselves for all I care. A deranged smile made its way across my face as I thought of that outcome. The one in front of me didn't react to the commotion that was happening, likely as a result of the alcohol, and was too slow to draw a weapon.

The last thing I saw before the darkness claimed me was his head flying clean off his shoulders only to be replaced with one that had horns. Looks like the Devil had come to collect me after all… and while I was ready to be dragged back down into the depths of hell, I wasn't ready and never would be ready to be there with company.

"Don't take Sophi. Don't…take…Sophi…" were the last words out of my mouth before the void eased my suffering.

* * *

I was getting tired of constantly passing out and then waking up again. It seemed like lately, that was all my life consisted of. Although I have to admit, this time seemed much different than all the rest. Before opening my eyes I did a quick check of my body. My wrists were unbound and laying in front of me due to the fact that I was on my side and my feet were similarly free. Also the stinging of the marks on my back was significantly less than I remember. The most important thing that I noticed, however, was that I was lying under soft covers.

For the first time since I'd landed here I entertained the idea that this might actually be one elaborate dream and I'm just now waking up. The slight twinges of pain that throbbed in my back could be the remnants of my most horrible nightmare to date of being whipped. Opening my eyes I blinked multiple times in a row to clear the blurriness from them before I was able to observe where I was.

I was occupying a brown tent that the early morning sunlight filtered through. It vaguely illuminated the inside that had personal items laying around in semi-neat piles. There was what looked like a pile of clothes in one corner and various pieces of, what I assumed to be, armour lying beside it. There was a helmet, some shoulder-protector-things, I think they were called pauldrons, a breastplate and various other pieces that I didn't care to identify at the moment.

Footsteps outside the opening of the tent caught my attention and I was stuck between pretending I was still asleep or being awake and ready for whatever came through the flap. Deciding that it would be better to pretend to be asleep since I wouldn't be able to defend myself against any sort of attack anyway, I assumed my original position and closed my eyes. I tried not to focus too much on my breathing since that would make it irregular which was a dead giveaway that I wouldn't be asleep.

The light inside the temporary abode brightened momentarily when the flap was pushed aside and someone clomped their way into the space. They moved to stand in front of where I was laying and the scent of cooked food followed whoever it was inside. Already I could feel my resolve weakening. The smell of eggs and bacon was making my mouth water and my stomach clench with hunger. When the source of the smell was placed directly in front of my nose I decided I could no longer resist. Slowly I opened my eyes only to find I was looking directly at a plate heaping with two eggs and two slices of bacon plus a slice of bread on the side.

"I figured that food would wake you if nothing else could." Quipped a man squatting directly behind the plate. He had bright blonde, almost platinum, blonde hair with sparkling green eyes. He had highly arched thick brows one of which had a scar through it that continued down across his nose. His mouth was turned up at the corners in what appeared to be a sideways smirk. Instantly I felt myself put off from the food, he seemed too expectant. Knowing my luck, it was likely poisoned. I gave him my best untrustworthy glare which he returned with a beaming grin, "Don't look at me like that, I brought you food! Although I suppose I should probably introduce myself, the name's Gaelen but everyone around here calls me Gaelic. What's your name?" I was silent while I tried to gain a measure of this strange boy who was practically flirting with me.

"Where's Sophi?" I asked and waited for the backhand that would surely come with being so forward but I didn't care, I needed to know she was safe before I could allow myself to relax and eat. A startled look overtook his features and a beat of silence passed before he managed to get together a response. Although it was hardly an intelligent answer...

"Who's Sophi?" I felt my heart skip a beat and worst case scenarios began to throw themselves left, right and center into my brain. I tried to calm myself down. Maybe he just didn't know who she was. After all, he was asking who I was, maybe she hadn't been able to introduce herself like me. I sat up on my elbows to be more eye level with him.

"She was the second girl who would have been captive with me. Is she safe? Can I see her soon?" I clarified and I watched with horror as he avoided eye contact with me. Was she not okay? Was she badly injured like me? Had her wounds gotten infected? Or was she… I didn't even want to finish that last thought. My terror only further mounted when he looked away entirely and rub the back of his neck, it was a few heart pounding moments later that I finally heard the fateful words.

"I'm sorry, but you were the only prisoner in the camp…"

* * *

" _Yeah, yeah… I tell you what, next time you do this, let me know and I promise to try" Sophi bargains with me and I can already see the evil plans forming in my mind._

" _So what you're saying is that the next time I 'secretly' set you up with somebody, you not only promise to go along with it, but to even give them a decent shot at a relationship?" I clarified and did my best to contain the wolfish grin that was doing its best to take over my features._

" _What?! That may be going a little far…" she backtracked and I brought out my ultimate pleading puppy eyes. I didn't think they would actually work, but when I saw her roll her eyes and groan with frustration, I realized I'd won, "Alright! Fine. I promise to not only go along with it but give the guy a fair chance."_

" _Yay!" I finally let the wide grin take over my face and I clap my hands excitedly. I can hardly wait until I find the next victim. It would have to be totally worth it though. I would never get a second deal like this out of her again._

" _Great. Now that I have sold myself to the next man of your choosing, I am going to go finish packing." Deciding not to further question my victory, I happily wave her away and once again take a place on the couch where I bring out my laptop and begin watching mindless videos. For the next little while I can hear her rummaging around before she drowned out by a very strange buzzing sound._

_At first it was quiet but it began to grow in strength and depth until it started to hurt my ears. Once it got close to reaching its peak, the pitch was so deep it was almost rattling my teeth. Holding my hands over my ears, I looked up into the middle of the room to see what appeared to be some sort of distortion in the air. If I were to describe it, I would say it looked like the surface of water. A green hue started to permeate the anomaly as it began to grow and stretch like a crack. I put my laptop to the side in preparation to get up and inspect it only for the sounds of slowly cracking glass permeated the air._

_The only thing I registered after that was the sound of glass shattering and something solid hitting me in the head before everything went black._

* * *

**Well there you have it! I'd love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment to let me know what you think!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	2. Hymn for the Missing- I Hope that Fate Will Forgive Us

**Here's the next chapter that I'm sure all of you have eagerly awaited with bated breath!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"I'm sorry, but you were the only prisoner in the camp…"

Those words haunted me for the rest of the day. I think blondie-whatshisface stayed with me for a couple hours or so trying to cheer me up and talk to me, but I was so far in my own little world that I couldn't register anything outside of my own brain. I must have fallen asleep at some point because there was a gap in my memory sometime between when he was still in the tent and after he had left.

Night had fallen some time during this period as the light filtering through the tent was non-existent and I was surrounded by darkness. That was okay with me though, I've always felt more comfortable at night anyways. I rolled onto my stomach and carefully so as to not aggravate my back got my arms underneath me and slowly pushed upwards. The bandages around my middle shifted slightly from their original positions to compensate for my new movement. There were a few twinges of pain as I put pressure onto my hands and as the muscles in my back flexed to lift my body from the ground.

Once I was high enough up I got my knees underneath me and was able to push with my leg muscles rather than my back. Slowly, I made progress until I was finally on my knees and then once I had my feet underneath me, I pushed away with my hands and for the first time in what felt like days, I was finally standing again. Stumbling over to the pole that held up the flap I used it for balance while I stretched out the sore muscles in my thighs and calves. I winced when my stretching pulled on some of the fresh whip wounds on the back of my knee and the one on my opposite calf. Once I was all limbered up from my long rest, I pushed off the pole and then stepped outside.

As to be expected there were a circle of tents surrounding the central fire that was still smoking embers. There were remains of what I assumed to be supper, and there were still rocks that served as stools or some sort of seating device situated around the pit. There was one large rock in particular that I assumed was part of a table or some other kind of preparation place. Although there was no blood on it which I found to be strange, but I didn't question it any further. I assumed there was some sort of explanation for it and left it at that. The tents all looked like the one I'd just exited which I suppose was to be expected variety didn't seem like something that was really a 'thing' here. The one thing that really did utterly captivate me though was the sky.

Being no light pollution from heavily lit cities, the night sky was revealed in all its glory. The stars in the sky were uncountable and with no moon they were even more visible than usual. My legs weren't strong enough to support me for long as I suddenly was feeling the need to sit down.

A little ways beyond the tent line was a ledge that led down into a valley of sorts. Carefully, I sat myself down onto one of the large rocks and continued to gaze up at the stars. I tried to find a constellation that I recognized from home, but no matter where or how much I looked and wished it to be otherwise, I couldn't find a single one. An itch on my head reminded me that my hair was still up and under that horrible cloth. Finally fed up with it, I reached up carefully, grabbed it and pulled.

Turns out my hair was wound up beneath it and when I grabbed the cloth I also grabbed my hair. Wincing I tried to reposition my fingers so I only grabbed fabric and then I continued to pull. Thankfully I was successful and with the next tug I could feel it coming loose around my head. Soon after cool air was embracing my hair once again. The long, thick locks of hair cascaded down my back and slid over my shoulder. In the dark, the blue-green gradient was hidden due to the lack of light to illuminate it. I ran my fingers through it, or as much as I could with it being so greasy and tangled, and relished in the feel of it.

"Are you sure you should be up and about so soon? You were in pretty bad shape when we brought you in." a deep rumbling voice asked from behind me and I jumped a little as I turned around to see a pair of legs. Then I brought my gaze up to his stomach, my apprehension started to grow when I still hadn't met reached his face. Up past the height of a normal human was his extremely broad shoulders, broader than anyone I'd ever seen both in person and through the media back home. Then finally I saw his head. It was silhouetted by the limited light of the stars and there was only one thing I was able to focus on.

Horns.

Two horns stuck straight out the sides of his head with a wicked upward curve on the end of each.

"I suppose I should introduce myself, the name's The Iron Bull. I'm the commander of the company that—" he was cut off from saying anything else by the panicked scream that ripped itself from my throat.

I scrambled to the side in a state of absolute terror. Some of the wounds on my back reopened and I could feel the blood start to soak the rag that I was still clothed in. Activity suddenly exploded around the camp as people burst from the tents ready for a fight. I just tried to focus on getting away from the demon that was going to devour my soul. I wasn't ready to die yet.

"Where's the fight? What's going on Chief? Who screamed?" a slightly raspy voice asked as a torch was lighted and he bared a sword and took a fighting stance while wearing only a white nightshirt. Being the closest person to me I grabbed on to him and shamelessly used him as a meat shield. "Hey, aren't you the 'Vint captive we rescued? What are you doing out here?" I ignored his question once he realized my presence and raised a shaking finger at the satanic looking beast that was still standing there. I could see a little of his face now and I noticed he was wearing an eyepatch over his left eye, but the other was still shrouded in shadow.

"W-what is that-that _thing_?!" I demanded hysterically still in the midst of panicking. The group surrounding me ceased all activity as they looked from me to the gigantic man-demon-thing that was standing before them. The silence that settled over the camp was unnerving and it pressed in on me like a suffocating blanket. I stumbled under its weight and struggled to keep my balance, the world was beginning to spin around me.

"Whoa hey, she's bleeding!" exclaimed the blondie-whatshisface and sure enough I felt wetness trickling down the back of my legs soaking the ground around my feet. Well that would explain a lot, especially the dizziness. Shortly after the observation by the who's-his-name, the edges of my vision went black and my legs gave out beneath me. The last thing I remember are silhouettes closing in around me…

* * *

_The first thing I realized, was that my head pounded like someone, or several someones, were playing gigantic bass drums inside my skull._

_The second thing I noticed was that I was soaking wet, and not in a good way. My clothes were completely drenched and weighing me down significantly. Not to mention my hair which felt like a lead weight on the side of my head. I hoped I wouldn't be soggy for too long, I didn't want the dye to rinse out so soon._

_A sharp stabbing pain in my forehead brought my attention back to more pressing matters than vain ideas such as my hair. Must have been someone bringing my worries back down to earth._

_The third thing I noticed was that I was being carried. I didn't know who it could be so I do my best to rouse myself from the comatose state I'd been inhabiting for god only knows how long._

_Groaning I opened my eyes to see a distinctly foreign landscape. It looked like something straight out of a horror movie. Everything seemed to somehow radiate the color green. The sky was green, the water was green, the rocks were green, fuck, everything was green! It looked like someone had taken a picture of hell but then decided that it was too obvious so they filtered it to look like this._

" _Ugh, what the hell happened?" I mumble through what feels like to be a barely working mouth. Why did it feel like it was hardly working?_

" _Well… first, something in our apartment blew up. It was near the living room so I imagine you were pretty close. Something got you on the head but I cleaned up the blood." I reached up to feel my head at this point only to find a sizeable gash above my right eye that definitely hadn't been there before. Perfect, now I can be Harry Potter, "I was coming down the hallway with my backpack and I'm not sure what happened after that because the next thing I know, I'm waking up here. Oh, and I maybe have a decently large piece of wood stuck in my leg." she states in a too cheerful manner for what she is talking about. Shock took over my features as I looked down to sure enough, see a very large piece of wood that had not-quite-so-cleanly gone through her leg and was now protruding out the one side._

" _Jesus Christ, are you okay?" I exclaim as I quickly remove myself from her shoulder. Turns out I was too quick though as the world tilted around me for a moment before I was able to regain my balance and instead go to support her on her injured side._

" _Yeah, I'll be okay until we can get out of here. I think the bleeding has mostly stopped for now." She responded and I gave her a disbelieving glance before I once again surveyed our surroundings._

" _Awesome, so where exactly are we?" I ask looking back to her for guidance which she returned with an irritated glare._

" _Well, I lost my map so… do you really think I know more than you in this specific situation? The sky is green and yellow for fuck's sake!" she explodes on me and I blink stupidly in response not having expected that outburst. After a moment she realizes what she said and he expression softens apologetically and I too feel bad about trying to pin the responsibility on her._

" _Sorry, I guess that one should have been obvious..." I look around again. Normally I would try to convince myself this was a dream, but while my subconscious can be pretty unusual at best, I definitely would have woken up by now. Or the dream would have changed somehow, usually it's for the stranger._

" _It isn't a dream. At least, it isn't so far as I know. I would try the pinching thing but I think that is meant to be a sort of pain test and I can already tell that the whole leg situation is plenty painful to let me know it isn't a dream." Well fuck, there goes an opportunity for this non-dream to take a turn for the weird. This definitely isn't a figment of my imagination. Fear begins to set in once I realize we're neck deep in trouble and no way to get ourselves out._

" _So what were you doing? Were you carrying me? How far did you go? Especially with a leg wound like that!" I demand finally returning to my senses, partially because of the fear which turned into a great motivator to figure out exactly what I could. Plus the part of me that always pushes to put my friends first leapt to the forefront to guilt me about burdening a friend with my dead weight. Almost literally, the thought made a cold chill go down my spine when I realized that might not have been too far from the truth. Sophi, however, only smiled her 'I'm hiding something from you so you don't feel so bad' so I immediately knew that whatever she was going to say next was extremely downplayed._

" _Yeah, I knew I couldn't stay where we were, I've got a feeling we need to get out of here and fast," I snorted, yeah no shit. The sky's green and yellow, that isn't normal, "Don't call it a wound, it makes it seem more serious and I would rather not focus on it until I can deal with it. I didn't carry you too far though, it was maybe twenty minutes and it was more like half dragging you using my good side. There was a pretty good cut on your forehead, but I cleaned that up as best I could using the travel-sized first aid kit from my backpack." That was when I noticed she did indeed still have her backpack she was going to use on her trip with her brother, "I didn't have any gauze or anything so a couple of band aids had to make due. I don't have any clue as to how I am going to deal with the leg thing though…" I silently agreed about the leg thing, especially if there wasn't anything to wrap it with, but there was something else that I wanted to address first._

" _Stop saying 'I will deal with it'._ We _will deal with it." I gave her my best reprimanding glare that I could, "You're probably right though, it should wait. Where were you takin us? There doesn't seem to be any exit signs…"_

" _Well before I was just following my gut feeling because I had to go somewhere and I didn't know where to start, but I came around that rock over there a few minutes ago and saw that light." She points forward to the white-green light that illuminated the creepy-as-fuck sky. "That looks just like the one that was in the apartment after the explosion and before I passed out, so I figured that was our best bet to get out of this freaky place right now."_

" _Alright, let's go. I just want to get out of here… it's really creepy…"_

_We do our best to hobble along as fast as we can. Now that there was an end destination I felt more motivated to get a move on and get the hell out of here. I do my best to keep a wary eye out for anything that might decide all of a sudden that it wants to reveal itself and devour the meals walking along like we didn't know where we were going, which to an extent was mostly true._

_It couldn't have been much longer that we had been making progress before a golden light started to make its way towards us. My heart started to speed up and adrenaline began to pump through my system. Whatever this thing was, I didn't trust it. It was always the things you least expected that turned out to be the ones to kill you. As it got closer though I could see that the light was actually in the shape of a woman, and a naked woman at that._

* * *

I woke up next time even more sore than any other time I'd woken up. My head ached, my legs ached and my back ached. In fact, it might be easier to name the parts of my body that _didn't_ hurt. Even the simple rise and fall of my chest in order to breathe was agony. It felt like my blood was expanding and contracting in my veins and my heart was the direct result of this horrific sensation.

Like the previous time, I was not alone. There was another man in the tent with me. He had dark skin with a pock-marked face. He wore his hair in a buzz cut and had a matching five o'clock shadow. He had silver eyes that stood out against his complexion and under his dark brows.

"And she finally wakes." He stated in a gravelly voice as he got up and retrieved a wooden bowl from a small table that had been placed above my head, "Here, drink this." He bowl was handed to me and I saw it contained some sort of green liquid that I eyed with suspicion, "It's not gonna kill ya'. It's for that massive headache you no doubt have pounding in that skull of yours." I gave it one last mistrustful glance before I put the dish to my lips and swallowed the foul tasting liquid that had dwelled inside. I coughed to clear my throat, I guess medicine tastes horrid no matter where you live.

"What was that?" I questioned with a scratchy voice that sounded like it hadn't been used in a long time. He took the bowl from me and placed it back on the table.

"It was an Elfroot potion I made it ease any pain and discomfort you might be having." He informed me and I'm not sure if I felt better or worse, supposedly knowing the ingredients, especially when I didn't know what the hell this 'Elfroot' was supposed to be. "My name's Stitches, I'm the company healer here in The Bull's Chargers." This 'Stitches' introduced himself and I could only stare in confusion while he looked at me expectantly. Was I supposed to know who these people were or something? I suppose I probably should give them my name though.

"I'm Arryn." Was my response, "'The Bull's Chargers'? What kind of name is that?" I asked confused. Who would name a group of people 'The Bull's Chargers'? Unless… I remembered the giant horned man I saw last night and recalled he had introduced himself as 'The Iron Bull' and also 'the leader' of this group.

"It's the kind of name we get when our Chief is named The Iron Bull. Speaking of the Chief, he wants to speak to you. Think you'll be able to keep together for a few minutes?" he asked and I began to feel myself shake. It was just slightly, a trembling in my hands which I hid beneath the blanket I was still under. For a moment I didn't respond and he patiently waited for my answer.

"Yeah, I think so." Was my uneasy reply and he nodded before standing from his crouch and leaving through the only opening available. For the next couple minutes I tried to calm myself down and prepare myself for facing the very, very large horny Satan. Ugh bad image, bad image…

The tent flap was pushed aside and the first thing I could see was the pair of horns belonging to the… whatever-the-hell-he-was as he hunched down in order to fit through the opening. My heart rate sped up to that of a racing car as he straightened slightly and looked at me with his one blue eye. I could now see that his face was actually quite scarred. There were three particularly large scars around the eye he was missing, I assumed that was how he lost it. There was also a short moustache and beard that lined his face. He brought his very large hands up in a sign of peace but all I could think about was how easily they would fit around my neck to strangle me.

"Easy, I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to talk and ask you a few questions. I'm sure you have some of your own as well." He stated in a low, calm manner that aimed to ease my obvious fear and apprehension. "Why don't we start with something simple, like names. I'm The Iron Bull, what's yours?"

"Arryn…" I responded shakily, "Arryn Mauntelle. What are you?"

"Nice to meet you Arryn, I guess you've never seen a Qunari in the flesh before?" he smirked lopsidedly and I could only stare in confusion.

"What's a Qunari?" the effect my question had on him was astounding, he too looked extremely perplexed.

"Where are you from? Your first name sounds Nevarran but your family names suggests you could be from Orlais." he asked next changing the subject and I brought my knees up to my chest and pushed myself out of the blankets and towards the tent wall. The stretch hurt my back but I needed the feeling of protection it gave to curl up in a ball.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." I choked out as his question began to bring back memories of home. Memories of my family and comfort and Sophi… tears started to form in my eyes and I put my head into my knees.

"What do you know then?" he prompted and I squeezed my eyes shut to try and block the tears from overflowing.

"That I'm far away from everything I've ever known and have lost the only person in the whole world that knows how I'm feeling right now." My effort was wasted and they started to make tracks through the dirt on my bare legs and on my face, "I'm sorry I called you a 'thing' but I was scared and I didn't know what was going on."

"It's alright, I suppose I've been called worse things over the course of my life." He got up from his sitting position, "I think that's enough for today. Get some rest, we'll be sending out a company to look for any 'Vint companies carrying prisoners. Hopefully we'll be able to find your friend." The Iron Bull stated and I felt my heart stop completely. I whipped my head up.

"What?" I breathed not believing what I was hearing, "You're… you're going to look for her?" my voice caught in the middle of the sentence and I had to restart after swallowing the very large lump that had formed in my throat. The Bull turned with a smirk on his face,

"Of course, we can't have innocent people being sold into slavery. Plus I enjoy smashing in the skulls of those bastards, so if there's 'Vints in the area, you can count on The Chargers to find 'em." He stated proudly before walking out of the tent.

I found myself at a loss for words after that. So instead I just crawled back under the blankets and for the first time since I got here, wherever the hell 'here' is, I fell asleep without any fear.

* * *

" _The Nightmare has noticed your presence. You must leave now." Her voice seemed to echo in the air around her giving off a ghostly aura._

" _How do we know we can trust you? We don't even know what you are…" I state with suspicion and the floating woman turned to face me, despite the fact that I couldn't see if she or it even had eyes with which to see._

" _I am a spirit of wisdom. The Nightmare has sent demons to find you. You are in grave danger, you must leave." She persisted and I could feel my suspicion as well as my fear growing with every word she said. We really couldn't afford to trust her, but at this point it seemed we had little choice. If she supposedly knew of a way out, then we needed to take it no matter the risks._

" _What is the Nightmare and how are we supposed to leave? We don't even know where we are, let alone how to get out." Sophi spoke up with a tone to her voice that she didn't feel this 'spirit' was completely trustworthy either. That made me feel a little better when I knew she was on the same side as me._

" _You are in what is commonly referred to as 'The Fade' and this is one area that the fear demon known as 'The Nightmare' holds dominion over. This is a place of spirits, and as a physical being, you do not belong here and therefore cannot stay. Over here there is a tear in the Veil which is the barrier that separates the Fade from the physical realm which you must return to." She guided us over to a shining tear that looked much the same to the one that appeared in the apartment. The only difference was this time, I could see images of different places flashing through the other side. "It is unstable and will likely close soon, you must hurry, it is the only such rift left and you will be trapped here forever if you do not go." She insisted but I have to admit I didn't like the idea of jumping voluntarily through a literal tear in the fabric of reality. Especially one that kept flashing to different places that I had never seen before in my life. Oh, look, there was a castle exploding with a familiar green light, this looked like such a lovely place. Although I had to admit, I didn't like the idea of staying here any better. "The Nightmare has found us. Make haste!" I grit my teeth with frustration,_

" _You said that's the way out? Well, let's go Sophi! Right now!" I snapped and grabbed her arm as I ran towards it. The glowy lady past us in the opposite direction as she seemed to glow even brighter than before,_

" _I will stall them long enough for you to leave The Fade!" she exclaimed and I refused to look back to see what she meant by 'them' and instead focused on making sure we were going to jump through during a time when it wasn't in the middle of changing pictures. As we entered the strange portal the last thing I remember seeing was the image of a grey, stormy sea._

* * *

**Thank you for reading and please leave me a comment with your thoughts!**


	3. Hymn for the Missing- For Tempting the Sea

**Here is the next chapter and it's the longest one yet!**

**I have also made it my goal to insert as many references to things as I can so do your best to see if you can pick them out and let me know!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

"These are looking better today. There doesn't seem to be any infection and they're healing well." Stitches noted while he examined the lash marks on my back. I had no doubt they weren't bleeding because all the blood left in my body was currently in my face. I'd been unconscious every time before this and only now was I realizing that in order to properly check my back, I couldn't have a shirt on. Or anything for that matter. So here I was, sitting completely barebacked and bare-fronted as well. Thankfully arms were very useful and I used them to cover my breasts. He'd already checked the ones on my legs and they received much the same diagnosis, "I'll put some more salve on them to help keep infection away and re-wrap you in bandages, but this should be the last time you'll need them."

"Cool, thanks." I replied quietly as I was forced to lift my arms in order for him to star wrapping the bandages tightly around my middle. I was forever grateful that Stitches was very professional in his manner and never once did his fingers even twitch in the wrong direction. Although I have to admit, I may have been a little difficult at first allowing him anywhere near my upper body. I've only ever had female doctors so it was something that I wasn't used to in the slightest. Over the past couple days though I'd learned he wasn't the type to try anything like that while I was exposed.

"There we go, finished." He tied a knot in the bandages so they would stay put on my body without moving too much and wiping off the balm that covered the majority of my back. "Now the Chief says if you want to eat, you have to join us outside." I opened my mouth to protest but quickly shut it again when I realized that was fair. I couldn't expect to receive special treatment forever. This day was bound to come eventually. I bit my lip as I took out my hair from the knot I'd put it in to keep it out of the way while Stitches took care of changing my bandages. After that I donned a brown tunic that was borrowed from one of the other members so I no longer had to wear the dirty rag that the slavers had forced me into.

Once he was done I carefully stood up and that's when I really noticed how disgusting my hair was. From roots to ends it was absolutely caked with dirt. Considering I don't ever really remember making an effort to rub my head in mud or anything, I could only blame the 'Vints that The Iron Bull mentioned.

"Hey, Stitches," I started hesitantly and he looked up at me, "Is there somewhere I could go to wash my hair or anything? It feels really disgusting and I'd like to get rid of the dirt if I could." I asked nervously and I was wringing my hands nervously the whole time I was speaking.

"Yeah there should be a stream near here. You could ask Dalish to take you if she is not busy. She's the elf with the Vallaslin, the tattoos on her face." He replied and I nodded in response as I exited through the flap. Elf. Right. Okay. I'm about to go ask an elf if she'll show me where I can wash my hair. Apparently this is a totally normal thing here?

The sun was bright today and I had to shield my eyes as I stepped out. There was a typical amount of activity happening in the camp during the day. A skeleton crew was left behind to tend to the menial daily tasks that needed to be completed, like having a fire going for food, hunting, and making sure no animals or hostiles enter the camp to steal things. It was always different people every day so I assumed that it rotated on some sort of schedule. I'd even seen The Iron Bull here once or twice doing things like laundry, gutting a bunny-like creature for a meal, and general guard duty. Those were definitely the days when no one bothered them at camp. Although it was a bit of a pain to listen to him complain about not killing anything. More often than not his second-in-command Krem was here to keep him in check. I almost felt bad for the guy, he was like a glorified babysitter.

After a quick look around camp, I found the elf that Stitches had mentioned. She was sitting on a stool in front of a tent that I assumed to be hers. She had blonde hair that was mid-length coming only to the tops of her shoulders and was pulled away from her face and behind one ear. When she looked up at my approach I noticed her eyes were a light, icy blue and a small smile curved her full mouth. She had on a green tunic that I envied combined with brown leather and silver metal armor.

"Hi, are you Dalish?" I asked uncertainly and she put down the leather armor she was stitching back together,

"Yes, what can I do for you?" she replied and her voice was more mature than I thought it would be given her very slight stature and youthful appearance.

"I'm Arryn, and Stitches told me you could help me with this…" I pulled a greasy, dirty strand of hair away from myself and I swore I saw a fly follow it but I couldn't be certain so I said nothing. Plus it wasn't something I wanted to draw attention to anyways. I saw her put aside the armor she was working with to stand and examine my filthy locks herself. Once she was standing I noticed that she was standing she was in fact quite a bit taller than me. She took a strand in her very frail looking hand and examined it thoroughly.

"This is indeed quite dirty. I do believe that I have a potion that will be able to make it clean once more, though. Wait here." She stated before ducking into the tent behind her. I did as she instructed and stayed put. While she was gone I tried to pick some of the filth and dirt out of the hair, but it didn't seem to be doing much other than making a huge tangled mess. Not a minute later she re-emerged with a basket filled with bottles of varying sizes and colors. "Come, there is a stream this way." She turned and started walking and I quickly jogged to catch up to her.

"Thank you, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it." I thanked her as I followed her into the woods. A part of my brain told me that I should be wary about following a stranger to an unknown destination but so far, these people had proven themselves trustworthy. Plus at this point, almost anything is better than the slavers they saved me from. Assuming that they legitimately saved me and this isn't a ruse to get me comfortable so they can ship me off again.

"You're welcome, we ladies have to look out for one another after all." She replied and I was still thrown off by the deep rich tone of her voice. Did all elves sound like this? I nodded in response as the small river came into view. It was a calm river gently flowing down, there was a small waterfall a little ways up river that seemed to create a current that made the water flow slightly faster. Dalish led me to the edge where she set down her basket of bottles and motioned for me to kneel beside her, "Because your hair is so long, you'll have to lay on your back and put your head in the water. Otherwise simply you would just be able to kneel over the water and put your head in. also, the wounds on your back will likely reopen again were you to put that much strain on them." The elf woman explained kindly as I did as she instructed and lay on my back.

The edge of the stream was very steep and I could already feel my hair completely submerged. The water itself was freezing and I could already feel myself beginning to shiver just from the barest of contact with it. Although I have to admit, it felt heavenly when I could already feel the dirt and grime being washed out of the strands. With a jolt I remembered that my hair wasn't exactly a normal color underneath the filth, it was still the beautiful shades of blue and green.

"Um I guess I should warn you not to freak out over my hair color. It's not exactly… normal." I advised the blonde haired elf beside me who was now uncorking a bottle of what I assumed to be this world's version of shampoo. She gave me a curious look as she moved up towards my hair.

"Very well, I shall keep that in mind." Was the cool and wary response as she began to work her fingers through my hair. The sensation felt heavenly and combined with the feeling of having my hair washed for the first time in weeks only made it that much more pleasurable. After only a minute or so I felt my eyelids sliding shut of their own accord, only to be jolted back to reality when I remembered Sophi was likely still in the hands of the 'Vints. My gut twisted with guilt, here I was, enjoying someone washing my hair for me and hardly all this time I'd thought about my lost friend only a couple times, "Great Dreadwolf…" she spoke and I was ripped out of my self-pity in time to look up to see Dalish staring with shock at my hair, "How did this happen? Was this some sort of magical side effect or backlash? How did you get these colors?" she inquired completely perplexed.

"No I dyed it."

"How? I was not aware that dyes such as these even existed."

"I used chemicals, although I wasn't there for the process of making the chemicals so I don't know how it works exactly." She gave me a confused look.

"What are 'chemicals'?" I hesitated before answering,

"I suppose they could be described as really powerful potions although you wouldn't want to drink them, but that's all I know." She nodded slowly and I could tell she wanted to ask more and that she didn't really believe my explanation but she didn't question me any further.

We were silent after that as she continued to rub oils and soap into my hair. And I watched the clouds go by as I wandered into my own little world. This turned out to be one of the rare sunny days that I've been able to experience here. Usually it was raining, pouring more like, and more often than not there was a killer thunderstorm to go with it.

"There, finished." She announced and I pulled my now soaked hair out of the water. It dripped all along the edge of the shore and I held it away from my body so as to keep myself dry. Especially since I didn't have another change of clothes out of these ones so the last thing I wanted was for them to be wet and cold. Taking the now clean and shining strands of hair between my fingers I squeezed as much water out as I could. I was pleased to see that the special dye I paid extra for hadn't faded one bit. Once I had finished relishing in the feel of my clean hair, I separated it into three parts and began to braid it over my shoulder to try and keep myself dry.

"Thank you so much, I feel like I just lost ten pounds of weight." I thanked her again before trying to make the tension I felt lighter.

"You are welcome." She responded as she continued to pack up the things. I played with my hair when I failed in lightening up the mood. Once she was all packed up, I got up from where I was still sitting on the rock. Unfortunately I wasn't careful enough standing up and pulled one of the injuries on my back. The jolt of pain through my back made me wince and I did my best to hide it from the elf currently leading us back to the camp. I continued to concentrate on the area as we walked and by the time we had returned, I was sure that I hadn't reopened any of them by accident. Although I think I may have overexerted myself as walking was because walking was beginning to become more difficult. My legs were straining quite terribly due to the injuries on them and my back was beginning to become sore from all the movement I was making. Stitches was going to have a hay day giving me hell for this…

* * *

_I sat in front of the fire I'd built to keep us warm in the cold dark cave that I'd chosen to stay in for the time being until we could figure out what to do. Also the fact that Sophi seemed to barely be able to keep herself awake worried me. It was no doubt the injury on her leg that was causing this and while I was using what little knowledge I had from my brief stint into the nursing profession, I was sure I wasn't doing everything correctly. Despite that I was doing all I could to make sure that it was kept clean, although I knew it wasn't enough. Without sterilized equipment, bandages, or area infection was only too likely to take hold of the wound. It needed stitches as well, but I had no needle or thread to do so. When I heard stirring from her corner of the cave, I turned to face her,_

" _Hey…" she turned her head to find the source of the sound only for her eyes to land on me, "Glad to see you're awake, I was getting worried about your leg injury." I could see her weak attempts at sitting and I rushed over to help her up._

" _So…" she croaked before devolving into a coughing fit. Instantly I try to think where I'd left the water bottle I'd filled in a free flowing stream just earlier today. Remembering, I rushed to the fire side and picked it up before returning to my friend and handed it to her. I can see the untrusting look she gives it, but I'd already drank from it several times and I had yet to fall sick. Plus it had looked clean when I filled it and I did know that the faster a river was flowing, the cleaner the water would be. Or at least that's what grade school science had taught me. After she had taken a drink she tried speaking again with much more success, "Do you know where we are?" she looked to me hopefully but the deep feeling of disappointment lodged itself firmly in my stomach as I avoided her gaze shamefully._

" _Well, no. it kind of looks like the west coast, but there are… uh…_ things _… Creatures that I had never heard of before out there. That and I think I saw a dragon flying somewhere." I thought back to one of the first times I'd dared explore the place we'd landed and as I crested a hill to get a better look at the land, I heard a screech that I could only have described as a dragon, but immediately dismissed it as such since they were purely mythological. Until I saw a gigantic beast flying over an island in the distance. Needless to say I scrambled off my vantage point as fast as I could without injuring myself and ran all the way back to the cave._

" _Woah woah woah… okay pause and rewind. Did you say_ dragon _? As in, the mythological kind meaning one that isn't real, that is a flying lizard? Cause maybe I heard you wrong..." she looked at me worriedly but I could only stare back with a serious expression that said I was telling the' whole truth and nothing but the truth' face. I could see the horror take over her features, "I hope I heard you wrong…" I looked her dead in the eye,_

" _Nope, you heard right. I'm not sure where we are, but it doesn't look like we're in Canada anymore." I managed a quick smile at my clever movie reference but when she doesn't return it, I can see my attempts to lighten the mood have fallen flat. I direct my gaze back to the dancing fire I'd managed to make out of some damp wood that I'd found in the forest just outside the cave. It hadn't been easy, especially since I didn't have any flint, or even a lighter for that matter but after I'd let it dry for a little while I'd been able to use friction to start a small fire that I then used some small twigs and grass to eventually work into the strong source of heat that it was now. I'd even thought ahead and grabbed some extra wood that I'd placed around it to help dry it out so future fires would be much easier to make. I didn't want to spend another day cold and damp like that again…_

" _So how long have I been out?" Sophi asks, snapping me out of my train of thought, and I turn my attention back to my friend,_

" _Well, it's been a little over two days." I could see the surprise take over her features, "You were a little delirious yesterday and weren't really awake. I've gone out of the cave a couple of times to see if I can find anything to eat. Most attempts haven't worked out, but the last time I went out, there was some raccoon-squirrel type of animal, so I set a trap for it. When it gets light out I'm going to go see if I caught anything…" I'd really hoped I had too. I could feel my energy draining as each hour went by without hardly any sustenance, I'd eaten some of the candy in her bag when I'd gotten really desperate, but since it wasn't meant for me I tried my best to leave as much of it as I could for her. "I think I found a berry patch but I never saw anything eat them so I left it alone, they might be poisonous so I thought it best if I just left them alone and didn't find out first hand." There was a moment of silence between us before she spoke again._

" _What about my leg, did it look serious?" she asked with trepidation,_

" _Well, at first it looked really serious, but once I got it cleaned up with that water from your bag and got all the wood splinters out, it looked a lot better. I think if we can keep it clean you'll be alright." I gave her a quick smile before I turned my attention back to the entrance of the cave where I could see a bit more light filtering through, "It looks like it might be getting lighter now, I'm going to head out to see what I might have caught." I stood and dusted off my battered and torn jeans that had definitely had seen better days before making my way out into the unknown forest._

* * *

It turns out that the Chargers that had been out were now back and I assumed by the amount of celebrating that was going on that they were successful in whatever they had been doing. My heart sped up, maybe they'd found Sophi. The thought spurred me into the center of the camp where everyone was crowding around the fire pit. The Iron Bull himself of course stood much taller than all the rest by at least a head and shoulders. I have to admit the sight of him still sent a jolt of fear through me and my instincts told me to run the other way.

"Maker's Breath!" exclaimed someone and when I turned to see who it was, I saw blondie-who's-his-face running up to me with the biggest smile I've ever seen on someone. Out of fright I backed up a couple steps whilst keeping a close eye on him to make sure he wasn't going to do anything to harm me. Much to my discomfort he stopped too close to me and without asking picked up my hair that was in a braid and visible on my shoulder, "Your hair is beautiful, how did you manage this?" he asked excitedly and I suddenly found myself to be the center of attention. I pulled my hair out of his hand as I wrung mine nervously.

"I, uhm, dyed it." Was my quiet answer as more people began to join him. There was another elf woman who had darker hair and also a bit shorter than Dalish, and there was also a very short and stout man that I could describe only as a dwarf.

"Dye? What form of dye? I have never seen these kinds of colors come from dye before, what did you use?" blondie continued to harass me and I began to look around for ways out of the uncomfortable situation. This was when I noticed the giant form of The Iron Bull walk up behind the man currently interrogating me. The silent way he seemed to move despite his bulk made me fear this horned humanoid even more than before.

"Alright that's enough, Gaelic go sharpen your daggers if you have time to interrogate the injured." The leader of the Chargers stated plainly from directly behind this 'Gaelic', the other two had sensed the approach of their leader and left before he reached us but it would appear that the one in front of me was not quite so observant.

"Aw, don't be such a wet blanket Chief, is it bad to want to know more about the damsel in distress that we rescued?" he complained and I felt my face heat with embarrassment and anger.

"I'm a person, you know and I'm standing right here. Don't make me sound like an object that you picked out of a dirt pile and shined up to be put on a shelf." I hissed through gritted teeth and I watched as he turned back around to face the vicious glare that I was giving him. The excited puppy dog look faded from his face faster than you could say 'oops'. A deep chuckle sounded from The Bull which was the only thing that kept me where I was rather than walking off.

"She has a point there Gaelic, don't be an ass, apologise then go sharpen your blades. If they're not sharp enough to cut someone, they're useless." He ordered and I was surprised that he was taking my side on this rather than one of his own. I watched as Gaelic turned back to me with a hurt look on his face.

"I apologise if I have offended you that was not my intention." He stated solemnly and I could only nod in response as I was truly left at a loss for what to say. Then he gave a curt nod to Bull and walked off to do what he was told. I too was about to make my exit but apparently to stand up for me wasn't the only reason The Iron Bull himself came over here.

"Hey, I need to talk to you again if you're feeling up to it?" he asked and I looked around while I shifted from foot to foot to try and alleviate the pain that was slowly becoming less and less bearable the longer I stood.

"As long as we can sit down, I don't think I'm going to be able to stand for much longer." Was my reply and he nodded in response before he held out a hand in the direction of the largest tent,

"We'll use my tent then." The giant Bull-man offered before I started walking in the general direction. I had to admit, the idea of being alone in an enclosed space with him still gave me chills of fear. Although, the logical part of my brain reasoned that if he wanted to hurt me, it didn't need to be somewhere where it would be difficult for me to get away or get help. He could attack me right here and there would be nothing that I, and I highly doubted anyone else here, could do. Of course that thought didn't actually help and just elevated my stress even more.

"Chief, the new recruits just did an inventory count and we're short a couple casks of ale. You wouldn't happen to know about that would you?" another one of his Chargers approached us on the way to the tent and I recognized his voice as the one that I had used as a meat-shield the previous night. Now that I could see him clearly in the day, I noticed he had brown hair that was shaved to stubble on the sides and in the back leaving only the top part that was just long enough to fall to the side. His eyes were a matching brown set over a perfectly straight nose. Unlike most of the others, however, this one wore the full set of armor complete with breastplate, greaves, bracers, pauldrons and everything else you could think of. I assumed he also wore a helmet into battle but for the time being had placed it elsewhere.

"Ah, Krem, just the man I wanted to see. Arryn, this is my Lieutenant Cremisius Aclassi, but everyone calls him Krem for short. Krem, this is Arryn Mauntelle." Bull introduced us and Krem switched his gaze to me and a flash of recognition went through his brown eyes when they landed on my hair.

"I didn't recognize you before, but you're the girl who was attacked by the bear in the woods just south of here." He acknowledged and after a moment I too remembered.

* * *

_I walked carefully on a trail that I'd become somewhat familiar with over the time that we'd been here and I was doing my best to forage from the land. My traps I set for small game were routinely catching small animals that I was able to turn into a meal or two for me and Sophi back at the cave. Never did I ever think that those harsh survival lessons my parents had forced me into would ever come in handy, but I was sure glad I'd suffered through them now. Even if I hardly remembered the details since it had been a decade ago when I had been in high school._

_I'd also used these excursions to see if I could find another, more fortified place for us to live until Sophi was well enough to travel and for us to find some sort of settlement or other signs of human life. Or at the very least human life that didn't look like it would want to kill us on sight. I'd seen a couple groups of people, but they were armed to the teeth with weapons and armor and I didn't feel they were very trustworthy people, so I avoided them. Not knowing who to trust here, I decided to not take my chances with anyone and opted to treat everyone harshly._

_Coming up on a trap, I slowed down and started to scan the area for it. When I saw the small body of what looked like a weird pig like thing. It was pink and hairless and overall looked quite creepy, but they made for good meals and seemed to be easy to catch, so I wasn't complaining. As I knelt down to collect it I heard movement in the trees around me. I stopped and paid attention, trying to discern what it could be. When I heard the sound of several twigs crunching all at once, I knew whatever it was, was big. As silently as I could I finished untangling the animal from the trap doing my best to not attract attention to myself from whatever it was making the noise. When it continued to approach me, however, I knew I hadn't been successful enough._

_When it was finally close enough for me to see, I felt my heart stop dead in my chest. It wasn't human which at the moment, I wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not since I'd been taught how to deal with situations like this but I could also feel that instruction flying right out the open window in my brain. Instincts took over and like a bullet, I was off running in the opposite direction. With a roar, the largest bear I'd ever seen in my life began to give chase._

_As I ran, I berated myself for my stupidity. I knew better than to run from a predator because that just ignited their instincts to chase down prey. Now because of my mistake I was running for my life from several hundred pounds of deadly. What was worse, was I could hear that I wasn't outrunning it. Its grunting and panting was getting closer and closer to me with every stride. I pushed myself to run as fast as my legs could carry me but it wasn't enough. There was no way I could go back to the cave because then I would needlessly be endangering Sophi._

_Bursting onto a road from the shelter of the trees, I skidded into a turn that had me clumsily trying to regain my balance. A quick glance behind me told me that the bear didn't have any trouble making the turn like I did and I only made my burning legs pump faster._

_Shouting drew my attention just in time to avoid the two bodies that came thundering out of the trees on the side of the road. Before I dodged past them, I noticed one had dark hair while the other had short blonde hair and they both held swords at the ready. For once I was relieved to see someone holding a sword and wearing armor, especially since they seemed more preoccupied with the angered animal than with me. I turned around to see the bear rising up onto its hind legs and raised its deadly paws to swipe at the two confronting it._

_My instincts continued to tell me to run, but I was mesmerized by the way that these two didn't even flinch at the ferocious roar it let out as it attacked. With ease, the warrior ducked under the swat and went for a stab while his companion went for the legs to drive it back and force it back down to all fours. Snarling the bear dropped back down and instead tried to use its muzzle to bite at the two swordsmen attacking it. Unfortunately for the creature, the only thing that got it was a bloody muzzle when the dark haired man cut across its black nose. It gave a cry of pain that tugged at my heartstrings even though just moments ago it was trying to kill me. In order to defend itself better, the bear once again tried to rise to its back legs but it didn't get that far when the blonde haired man swiftly got underneath it and with one smooth stroke, sliced deep across the animal's neck._

_Blood sprayed from the deep wound and the bear staggered to remain balanced but as the red liquid continued to gush from the gash, it lost strength and fell to its side. The ground quickly became saturated as the pool of blood steadily expanded. Within the minute all movement had ceased within the now dead body. I felt vomit rise to the back of my throat as I stumbled my way back into the trees. No way was I sticking around to see what these two swordsmen would do to me now that the primary threat was taken care of. There was a cry of "Hey, you, wait!" but I paid it no heed as I did my best to distance myself as far as possible from the road._

_After only a few strides, however, my stomach betrayed me and behind a bush, it emptied its contents. I took this opportunity to rest for a bit to try and calm the trembling in my legs. I had definitely overexerted them today and now I was paying the price for it. My breath was ragged and I was gasping in my need to inhale oxygen to replenish my body's supply._

_Once I felt that I'd regained enough strength, I got up and continued to make my way back to the cave. Sophi was no doubt wondering where I was._

* * *

"After all the shit that's happened since then, I almost forgot. I guess I owe you a thanks and also an apology for running away immediately afterwards without thanking you." That brought back memories that I would rather not have floating around in my brain right now. Taking care of Sophi, not knowing if I could trust anyone so choosing to instead trust no one, the fear of not knowing whether or not we would even survive the ordeal. The stress and pressure that came from being the only one able to provide food and a slight measure of safety to the two of us, the fear that something would happen to me and I would become unable to sustain myself or Sophi…

"Hey, you alright?" a deep voice rumbled snapping me out of the flashback that was happening. That was when I noticed that I had been breathing heavily and staring at the ground for who knows how long. Glancing back up at Krem and Bull I noticed that they were both giving me identical looks of worry and I quickly plastered a grin on my face.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Was my automatic response and I could immediately tell that my façade fooled neither of them. They didn't say anything else on the matter though and I changed the subject quickly, "Would I be able to sit now? My legs are beginning to wobble." Which was entirely true and it was becoming so bad I almost felt my knees start to knock together in an effort to keep myself balanced and upright.

"Yes, and don't try to pin the blame on me again, Krem. You should be asking Gaelic and Skinner, they're the ones who have been up late bonding with each other." He responded and I raised an eyebrow with surprise. That puppy-like Gaelic didn't seem like one to drink a lot, if at all, but I guess that was being judgemental. I didn't know him well after all.

"Sure sure, whatever you say Chief."

"Just get in the tent Krem, we need to update her on the situation." The Iron Bull ordered half-heartedly as he held the tent flap aside for his second-in-command and myself before he followed us in. although I have to admit, I didn't like the sound of 'update her on the situation'. On the other hand, however, I was relieved to know that I was no longer going to be alone with Iron Bull.

Inside I was surprised to see that it was actually very tidy. The bedroll on the one side was neatly made and clothes were folded tidily along with organized sets of various armor pieces. I did notice that unlike the other two sets I'd seen, this one was very clearly missing anything that would in fact cover his chest. There were writing utensils on what appeared to be a thin stack of paper next to what looked to be a portable writing desk of some kind. Out of all the things in the tent, that one seemed the most out of place. Why would he need stuff like he regularly wrote letters or reports of some kind? The thought nagged at the back of my brain but I pushed it to the side when a stool was brought up to me by Krem whom I thanked before sitting down. After that Krem sat on the ground while Bull found a crate and used that as a seat.

"Alright to business," I listened with rapt attention as the Charger's leader set his one blue eye on me, "we did what I promised we would and searched for any possible leads to your friend. After tracing the path of the 'Vints we found you with, we managed to find their previous camp. From what I could tell, it looked like there had been two carts at that point and the second had gone off on a different path when they set out after that." My heart was beating so hard I thought it would burst out of my chest, "We had to make our way back to camp afterwards so we weren't able to follow up on the lead, but tomorrow we have to move camp. We'll be heading in that direction, with any luck we'll be able to catch up to those bastards and tear them apart!" The Iron Bull seemed to become quite excited at the thought of bloodlust on the horizon. Although I had to admit, I felt much the same. Just thinking about what those assholes had done to me and the possibility of it happening to my best friend as well awakened a vicious part of me that I usually liked to keep dormant. The relief I felt at hearing his announcement though struck a chord in me and I suddenly felt the euphoric rush that comes with relieving stress.

I covered my face with my hands to hide the tears that I could feel burning behind my eyes. They found her! They found her! She was going to be okay! She just had to hang on for a little while longer and then everything would be fine. I felt a hand on my shoulder and judging by the size and position, I guessed it was Krem, the contact gave me reassurance and helped me relax further. Don't give up Sophi, help's on the way.

* * *

**Comment and let me know what you think!**


	4. Hymn for the Missing- I Hope They Will Not Forget Us

**Here we go! Chapter 4!**

**Thank you to all who have favorited and followed this story!**

* * *

"And then, just when I thought we'd lost him, Gaelic here, comes running out of the shop with an angry woman wielding a great big knife!" The brown haired elf, who I'd come to know as Skinner laughed heartily. Everyone followed suit afterwards except the blonde whom the story was about. Even I chuckled softly from my position near the edge of the group. I was still slightly sore about his statement earlier today so I was enjoying his moment of humiliation, I hope that humble pie tasted good.

"I thought she was interested! What was wrong with asking about if she wanted to go into the back and have a little fun?" Gaelic defended himself but it only caused everyone to laugh harder, in order to cope with the teasing, he took a big drink out of the mug that he had in his hand like everyone else. I too had been served a drink but had only taken a few small sips to be polite. I didn't much care for the taste or for actually having alcohol. Personally I felt that alcohol be reserved for celebrating and I didn't really have anything to celebrate yet. I would wait until after we'd rescued Sophi, then I would drink until I couldn't see straight. Until I knew she was safe, I didn't want to drink.

The Chargers continued to party amongst themselves and no one seemed to notice when I silently walked away from the circle sitting around the fire. I left my drink on the rock I had been occupying and made my way to the edge of camp where the light of the fire didn't reach me. Taking a seat on the rocky ground I tilted my head back and once again gazed at the night sky. It still amazed me with the sheer number of stars that shone once the sun had gone down. The moon was out this time even if it was only a half but it was enough to light up a portion of the sky.

"Party too much for you?" asked a voice from the darkness. I squeaked and jumped in surprise at the silence of his approach. Turning around with a pounding heart, I saw the intimidating silhouette of Bull as he approached from the same path I had taken.

"Jesus stop doing that! You nearly gave me a heart attack." I reprimanded him before turning back to look at the sky. I drew my knees to my chest automatically as he sat beside me. Not so close so as to be intruding on my personal space, but not so far away it seemed like he wanted to not be associated with me.

"Jesus?" he asked and my stomach sank into my ankles, shit I let that one slip because he'd caught me off guard.

"It's the name of a… god I suppose you could say. It's more commonly known back where I'm from. I guess it never spread this far…" I said and hoped he believed my sort-of-half-truth. The thoughtful hum I received in response made me doubt that he did.

"You never did say where you were from." Bull prompted me and I gave him a half-hearted glare out of the corner of my eye. Sighing heavily I stared at the stars once more,

"No I didn't, and I'm still sticking to the excuse that 'you wouldn't believe me even if I told you'. Much less trust me afterwards."

"And yet, how can I trust someone who is purposefully lying to me, and my men?" he retorted and I suddenly felt guilty. Here it was that these people (using the term _people_ quite loosely) were helping me out of, what appeared to be, the kindness of their hearts and all I could do was lie to them. The worst part is that they deserved the truth. They deserved to know just how far I'd come from home and why I knew nothing about this world.

"I would love to tell you the truth, to share the burden I'm carrying, but…" I curled up tighter, pulling on the still tender wounds on my back but not caring at this point, "…I just can't. I don't know how to explain it, but I just can't." I gave him another glare out the side of my eye, "Trying to guilt trip me into spilling the beans though, eh? I'm sure there's things you haven't told me either."

"Hm, I didn't think you'd pick up on that." I could see his teeth flash in a grin, "Seems like you're not as dense as I thought you were." I whipped my head in his direction with a look of utter indignation on my face,

"I'm not that dense! I can pick up on things! Like I just did, see?" was my scandalized response and it was only after I spoke did I realize I'd fallen right into his trap. The smirk on his face said it all, I didn't need to see it to know it was there, "Dammit…" I mumbled and returned my chin to my knees where I rested it. I refused to admit that I was pouting, especially when he started chuckling.

"You are right though, there are things I haven't told you. How about this? You tell me something about yourself, and I'll tell you something about myself or where we are? Sound fair?" he bargained with me and I didn't see any reasonable cause to refuse so I nodded my consent. "Good, so where did you first meet Krem?"

"He and the other one, Grimm, I think he said? They saved me from a bear attack a while ago. If I had to give specific dates I couldn't say, but it was little over a week ago now, I think." I answered and he seemed satisfied with it when he didn't raise any objections, "So where are we exactly?"

"Right now we're on the Storm Coast which is part of Ferelden."

"That would explain all the storms…" I mumbled spitefully and he chuckled again,

"Yeah you're right there. So how did you get here?"

"Something exploded in my house and Sophi and I got sucked into a horrifying place that we had to walk through and then ended up here. There were giant spiders, a floating, glowing, naked lady that helped us out and something called 'The Nightmare'." I shuddered at the memory that I still wish had been just that, a nightmare.

"Sounds like demons. I hate demons…" he sympathized and I admittedly was caught off guard. I lowered my knees and turned towards him a little more.

"It's hard to imagine you being afraid of anything. Surely there's not a lot that can top your size?" he laughed again and suddenly I felt like I'd said something stupid. I resumed my old position which was beginning to get slightly uncomfortable since I'd sat that way for so long now.

"You'd be surprised. This world has a lot to offer that's bigger than me. Like dragons, dragons are fucking badass." He replied and I felt my ears prick at the sound of the now-not-quite-so-mythical beast.

"Yeah, I saw one. It was terrifying," I shuddered with remembrance at the terrible, but awesome sight, "I assume that if you encounter one it would try to kill you, yes?"

"Of course it'd try to kill you which is what makes them so much fun to kill in return! Nothing like taking on a beast the size of a mountain and coming out on top."

"I bet if you raised a dragon baby from before it hatches then you could probably get it on your side. How cool would that be?"

"It's not likely. Dragons often eat their mother if they feel she is not worthy of her superior role. So you would most likely be killed by the dragon you try to raise once it got bigger than you." He explained and I immediately felt all my hopes at a dragon familiar go down the drain. My legs fell to the sides as I crossed them in front of me for a more comfortable position and I rubbed my legs to warm them up a bit now that they were no longer draw tight against my chest.

"Well that sucks…" I mumbled down to my legs. Another thoughtful 'hum' sounded from beside me before he spoke once again,

"That's enough for tonight, we need to move camp tomorrow so we should all get some sleep now." He stated as he got up from where he sat beside me, and I moved to do the same only for a large, grey hand to appear in my peripheral vision. I glanced from it, up to its owner, before back to it again. After all that had been done for me I assumed that it would be very rude to refuse. So I placed my hand in his and allowed him to pull me to my feet.

"Thanks." Was my acknowledgement as I looked up to him, "Why are you being so nice to me?" I blurted without any thought as to what the possible response might be.

"I suppose you could say I have a soft spot for the outcasts and the loners." Bull smiled like a proud father before he walked back to the still hard partying mercenaries. "Alright that's enough and head to bed. All of you. That includes you Gaelic." Were the orders given and a round of whining went up from the majority of those present, the most loudly to complain was Gaelic.

"You heard the Chief, to bed before I dump water on your blankets." Krem spoke up in defence of their leader. More groans were heard but nonetheless they all shuffled off to their respective tents.

Maybe they weren't so untrustworthy after all…

* * *

The next morning we were all up bright and early and packing up everything. It seemed the good weather that was present yesterday wasn't able to hold up for another day because it was pouring buckets when I woke up the next morning. Thankfully, Krem had the foresight to come to my tent with a thick pair of leather boots to walk safely through the mud without getting absolutely filthy, a thick long sleeved shirt that he said would fit under the brown tunic I was still wearing, and finally an oiled cloak with a deep hood to keep the rain from completely soaking me. Apparently it was on Bull's orders but that didn't surprise me one bit, if nothing else I was beginning to figure out that he was someone who was indeed worthy of my trust. Not that I intended to tell him everything about my past just yet, he hadn't gotten that far in my books. Once I'd changed I made my way outside to see the flurry of activity that was happening around what used to be a camp.

Most of the tents had already been taken down, mine was one of the only ones remaining. Unfortunately I didn't in fact know how to take down this specific kind of tent and so I was lost in the bustling activity going on around me.

It didn't help that the cold damp weather was beginning to make my wounds ache but I was absolutely sure I wasn't the only one so I didn't say anything. Although it was making it a little hard to walk since there were some on my legs. The one on the right, just behind the knee was the worst, it made walking nearly impossible as I hobbled around trying to avoid everyone. Unfortunately, Stitches found me limping around and directed me over to a barrel where he firmly instructed me to sit and to not move under any circumstances as he did not want to be redressing my bandages any more than necessary before we left. This also meant, however, I was unable to escape the annoyance that was Gaelic.

"Good morning! Lovely day isn't it?" he asked too cheerfully and I gave him my best glower that I could to let him know his presence and comments were not welcome where I could hear them or see him.

"No it's not." I replied sourly as I wrapped my cloak tighter around myself to preserve as much warmth as possible. I was not in the mood to deal with him since I was still sore over yesterday's 'damsel in distress' comment.

"Aw don't be like that! Rain is good for many things! Making flowers bloom, putting out fire and making sure nothing dies of thirst!" he gushed and I really wished he would just leave me alone.

"It's also good for putting me in a bad mood and making my already sore injuries hurt even more." Was my equally sour retort, "Isn't there something you should be doing to help everyone else?" I asked scathingly, hinting heavily that he wasn't wanted here. This seemed to put a damper on his mood somewhat as the overly cheerful grin dropped from his face and he suddenly became more serious.

"Are you still angry about the whole 'damsel in distress' comment I made the other day?" the blonde asked genuinely and I felt the cold exterior I'd slowly been putting up between myself and him stop momentarily, "Because I _am_ sorry. I only meant to be humorous and lightly teasing. If I offended you, you have my deepest apologies." He mourned so sorrowfully that it got through the ice wall completely. Sighing, I gave him the least hateful look practically since I met him.

"You did offend me but since you seem genuinely upset about it I'll let it go." I replied but still continued to sit and try to keep warm. It wasn't long after that, that I learned oiled capes were not good for keeping the warmth in and the cold out. The thick shirt that I'd gotten this morning was the only reason I wasn't shivering uncontrollably right now.

"Thank you, I'm relieved you were able to forgive my momentary lack of judgement." Gaelic spoke and I was internally rolling my eyes at his overdramatic performance. Was this guy a performer or something? Maybe he was the fool. I snorted with amusement at the image of him in a medieval fool costume. Of course, he noticed this, "What? Did I say something amusing?"

"No, I thought of something funny."

"Oh what was it? Please share?"

"No, I doubt I could describe it effectively." I did my best to make it sound as unappealing as possible but it turns out he was quite persistent.

"That's okay, just do your best." He insisted. Thankfully I was saved from having to make more excuses when Stitches came up and effectively shooed him away.

"There you are Gaelic! Harassing the injured again are we? Dalish needs your help loading up some of the heavy worktables she has for her 'not-magic' creations." He ordered the younger man who looked like he was about to protest but thought better of it at the last moment as he scuttled off to do as he was bid. I tried to sigh with relief as discreetly as possible but apparently I was not quite sneaky enough, "He can be like a bug can't he? Always around when you don't want him to be and never knowing when to piss off. Here I brought you this. You're lucky I was able to grab it before the rest of them had their fill. Like watching wild animals eat is what it is." He stated with mild disgust as he pushed a sandwich into my hands that had a slice of bacon and an egg in it. I hungrily took a large bite and relished in the taste of the greasy meat and the deliciousness that was the egg.

"Thanks, I nearly forgot with all the activity that's gone on today." I replied and was about to take another bite when I heard cries of "Careful don't drop—" the sounds of glass shattering filled the silence Dalish's plea had made and I winced in sympathy for whoever had broken the object. A feeling in my gut told me it was Gaelic.

"You're welcome, but keep up your guard next time, or you'll end up going hungry." I nodded as I continued to eat vigorously. "Also it seems like there won't be enough time for me to check your bandages before we leave, unless you're willing to strip down in front of everyone here." He bargained and I nearly spit out the mouthful of food I had, instead I managed to almost choke on it, he laughed heartily, "I guess I'll take that as a no."

"All ready to head out?" a rumbling voice asked from beside me and I felt my spine straighten completely as I whipped my head to the side to see Bull looking even scarier than normal. I was only glad it wasn't dark as it would be even more terrifying. He was wearing a cloak like the rest of us but the hood was much bigger to compensate for his horns. There were holes in the sides where they poked through but I imagined that the actual opening of the hood had to be much bigger than usual in order for him to fit those two monstrous things through. Because of this, however, it hung extremely low over his face shrouding it in shadow. Jesus, he was scary, sometimes I guess I forgot just how much.

"Should be, once Arryn here smooths down her fur from the scare you just gave her." Stitches laughed and I felt my face heat with indignation underneath my deep hood. I turned to give the dark skinned man a glare that rivalled the one I'd given Gaelic only a little while ago. Unfortunately it just made him laugh harder. I continued to pout as I finished the last of the sandwich before I carefully hopped off the barrel and glared miserably up to the leader of the Chargers.

"Ready, but my _fur_ won't be smoothed until we get out of this blasted rain…" I mumbled the last part but if the low chuckle I caught from The Iron Bull was any indication, he'd heard me. Sure enough a glance up and I could see a flash of white teeth curling into a grin. Jesus that was scary. I wish it weren't so overcast so I could see his face better. It didn't help that his skin was literally grey and blended even better with the shadows.

"Good, time to head out then. Arryn can you ride a horse?" Bull asked and I was caught off guard for a second before I was able to create a logical response.

"Hypothetically, yes, although it's been a long time and I'm not sure how well I'll be able to balance with damaged legs." Well not as logical as I would have liked considering I'd just said 'damaged' like I really was an object rather than a person.

"No, no way is she going to be able to ride on a horse, the gait would be much too rough with all the supplies and everything else. The wounds on her back would reopen before we'd gone so much as a mile and I'm not spending the whole trip constantly redressing her wounds." Stitches argued.

"Well she won't be able to keep up on foot either, not with the injuries on her legs." A selfish part of me was wholly relieved when Bull made that statement himself rather than me having to. Now I didn't have to look whiny or lazy.

"A smaller group could follow behind going at a slower pace."

"No, I'm not risking giving the 'Vints in the area an easier target to pick off from the main force."

"What do you suggest then? That someone carry her?" there was a beat of silence before they both turned to me and I felt a lead weight fall into my stomach as I looked between the two.

"That's not such a bad idea." Iron Bull stated and I started to take steps back when I could see the thoughts going through their heads.

"No, no I'm not okay with this." I stated and when Bull turned to face me I felt fear shoot down my spine.

"And who else is going to carry you without straining from the weight after more than an hour?"

"Are you calling me fat?"

"No, you're quite the opposite actually and you need to get some meat back on those bones, but you're still a full grown person and even that would weigh down the average person fairly quickly. Plus it would be awkward, how would they carry you? On their back with your legs around the middle? They wouldn't be able to get to their weapon in an emergency. In front? They would need both arms which would also hinder the ability to get to a weapon and put you both in danger." He reasoned and I began to feel frustration at the logic behind his words, it was literally be carried by a horned creature or bust.

"And how would _you_ carry me then? I can't sit on your back even if I wanted to because I'm not that flexible and the strain on my wounds would be too much. In front poses a much similar problem. Sitting on your shoulders would also be a bad idea because then I would have the handle of that gigantic axe up my ass, sitting on your horns is even worse because I would just fall off. And to be carried across your chest would be like laying down which would be really awkward for the both of us I'm sure." I retorted using his own tactic of reasoning against him. Again I could see the grin underneath the hood but that was all.

"Not bad, although you did forget one." I lifted one eyebrow and waited for him to elaborate, "I don't need two arms to carry you. You're small enough that you should be able to sit on my forearm with my hand supporting your legs." I have to admit, I didn't like the idea of him being anywhere near my legs, doubly so with hands involved.

"You sure that's a good idea Chief? We all know your experience with the ladies." Stitches spoke up and I was flabbergasted. Lad _ies_? As in _plural_? What had he done to these _ladies_? A part of me really didn't want to know while another was almost dying to find out.

"Hey, I don't touch what doesn't want to be touched. You know that."

"Except didn't she just say that she wasn't comfortable with this?" the smaller man retorted and Bull huffed angrily.

"This is different!" was his agitated response but after a minute he calmed down and turned back to me, "You have a point though, if you're really not comfortable with this then I won't force you." The horned man relented and when he put it like that I felt bad making a big deal out of nothing. Hadn't I already admitted (to myself) that this was the only way for me to travel efficiently? Now I just looked like I was being difficult for the sake of being difficult.

"No, it's fine… just no… wandering." I acquiesced and retraced the steps I'd taken that had led me away from him.

"You have my word." He replied before stooping down, and bringing his right arm out of the volumous cloak, wrapping it around my torso before grabbing the back of my legs and hoisting me up before I could even realize what was happening. Out of survival instinct I reached out to grab something, anything that would help me feel secure from the new height and ended up grabbing onto the clasp around his neck.

"This is higher than I anticipated." I breathed once the initial movement of him standing to his full height had stopped. I wasn't sure how I felt about being this high in the air, "Please don't drop me…" I mumbled and unfortunately since I was so close to his head he ended up hearing me. I could feel the chuckle rumble through his chest,

"Don't worry, I got you." Was the response and despite my mistrust I actually felt much better at that reassurance. This when also when I noticed that I no longer felt quite so cold. My shivers that had slowly been getting worse until now had calmed down slightly. He was warm and I refused to admit that I enjoyed having a personalized heater right next to me. Although I had to be careful he would undoubtly notice if I were to start snuggling up.

"What's the holdup Chief? Let's get a move on already!" called Krem from the front of the group that was awaiting the arrival of their leader to head the procession. Once we both came into view I could tell that we were the center of attention and I felt my face heat with embarrassment at being stared at so openly, "Come on Chief, can't you hold it together until we've set up camp again?"

"It's not like that Krem, she can't walk well enough on her own to keep up and Stitches has claimed riding a horse would be too rough and reopen her wounds." Was his cool reply and I was happy that he'd used such a calm voice that said others were stupid to consider it was anything less than innocent.

"So apparently riding the Bull isn't rough, never heard that one before." Commented one of the Chargers, I wasn't able to identify who since I didn't see them speak, and I didn't recognize the voice. Nonetheless they caused a round of laughter to go up amongst the group and I have to say I didn't appreciate it.

"Hah hah very funny Rocky." Bull replied sarcastically and continued on his way to the front where he continued to walk and everyone followed suit behind him. "How are you feeling?" he asked concernedly and I could feel his eye on me.

"I suppose I'm fine…" I responded as I pulled my cloak further around myself in order to keep in as much escaping heat as I could. The shivers were beginning to return and it was making me very uncomfortable.

"You know I can feel you shaking. Are you really that afraid that I'll drop you?"

"No, I suppose I'm just a little cold, but it's nothing I can't handle." I quickly added onto the end to make it seem less like I was whining. I already felt helpless enough being carried like a child, the last thing I needed was to be coddled even more. There was a grunt of recognition before he reached his left arm around me to his right shoulder. I leaned forward as much as I dared to avoid his arm until I felt him pull the rest of his cloak over his shoulder, then around me before tucking it in in between my legs and his stomach.

"Better?" he asked and I could only stare down at my newly burrito wrapped body and nod distantly. This was definitely the weirdest situation I'd ever been in. although I answered truthfully, it was actually quite a bit warmer now. Especially since all that body heat he was radiating was now being extra trapped by the cloak.

After that last exchange there was silence and I took the time to look at the landscape. Or at least as much as I could with the rain blocking out most of it. Although the view I got from being up as high as I was thanks to Bull gave me a little extra vantage. From what I could tell there were mountains and cliffs almost no matter where I looked. What trees existed here looked like they were coniferous trees like pine and spruce trees, from what I could tell, there didn't seem to be any leafy trees. The only things that seemed to have leaves were in fact bushes that only seemed to line the one river that we ended up crossing. Although river was an exaggeration as it wasn't deep enough to reach the tops of anyone's boots, stream would be more appropriate.

Lunch was eaten on the road as more sandwiches were passed around. It was a piece of bread with a slice of the same kind of meat used for the bacon with a slice of cheddar cheese on top. I ate as neatly as I could so as to avoid getting crumbs in the cozy cocoon of warmth that had been created for me. Although I had to eat quickly to avoid having the food become soggy by the persistent rain that refused to let up for even a moment. In fact it almost seemed to rain harder by the minute.

It wasn't until sometime in the afternoon (I marked noon at the time we ate lunch) that I began to realize I was becoming cold again. Pulling my own cloak further around me to try and increase the amount of heat being kept in, I did my best to remain warm. It worked for a moment before the shaking started up again. Following what I knew of survival in the wilderness, I began to rub the side of my ribs that were not resting against the giant carrying me. Unfortunately it didn't seem to be working in increasing my body heat and also succeeded in alerting Bull to my discomfort.

"You're fidgeting, do you want to stretch your legs for a bit?" he asked and I vigorously shook my head no. if I was already this cold sitting next to a personalized heater, I didn't want to imagine how I'd react to suddenly not having that extra heat near me.

"No I'm fine. Don't stop for me." Was my immediate reply which I had to say as quickly as possible to avoid having my voice waver with the shivering that was getting worse by the minute. For spurts, I could make it stop, but it would only start up again that much worse the next time. After only another few minutes I could no longer control it and my head slowly started to become so heavy I couldn't keep it straight any longer. I felt the rocking motion of Bull's steps come to a halt when my head landed heavily on his shoulder.

I think he spoke but I couldn't make out his words from the rumble in his chest alone. A fog had made its way into my brain and everything seemed fuzzy because of it. My vision was no longer clear and I did my best to try and blink it away but that too became more and more difficult the more I blinked.

A sudden rush of cold air had me curling into a ball instinctively to conserve as much heat as I could. The shivering escalated exponentially at that point until even my very bones were rattling. My teeth chattered so loudly I thought they would shatter from the sheer force and number of times they clashed together. There were voices around me but it was all gibberish and I couldn't pick out any specific words.

Darkness started to creep into the edges of my vision and I couldn't help but feel irritated that this was happening again. I fought with everything I had against the blackness swarming my eyes. The random flailing of my limbs as I struggled to keep myself from passing out again was suddenly halted when I felt strong hands holding me down. The blurriness in my vision allowed me a glimpse of a horned silhouette of the one holding me down before the void claimed me for its own once again.

* * *

Warm…

…Cold…

Blurry images crossed my line of vision I think, but it was getting hard to remember such trivial details. They could have been dreams or hallucinations for all I knew but I couldn't tell the difference.

At some point there was a heater placed near me and a warm blanket wrapped around me. A cold cloth was placed on my head to keep the burning stuffy sensation away. It was during these moments when my mind was the most clear and I was able to remember the majority of the flashes of reality or dreams. There were always people around me. Of that I was certain. They talked funny too. Although it seemed oddly familiar and comforting and with the murmurs in strange accents I fell back into the dark void that was sleep.

* * *

When I re-entered the realm of wakefulness I noticed my source of warmth was being taken away from me. The second that contact faded away from my skin I started to shiver uncontrollably. Curling into a ball to conserve as much heat as I could did hardly nothing. The mountain of blankets I could feel myself under did nothing to keep the heat in.

Blearily I tried to open my eyes and get my bearing on where I was only to see the world spinning around me like a wobbling, spinning top. The sensation left me nauseous and I closed my eyes tightly to relieve the feeling of wanting to vomit horrifically. When the sensation persisted, however, I knew I wasn't going to be able to push it back down. Numbly and shakily, I somehow managed to get my arms underneath my equally shaky body and push against the ground. The effort made my head spin and my back throb horribly but I knew if I didn't move away from where I was, I would throw up where I was laying and I most definitely didn't want that.

I managed to move a little ways from where I was originally just in time to retch up what little contents my stomach still held. Unfortunately that one action took what little strength I had left which was to be used for putting myself back where I was originally. Since I no longer had the strength to do so the best I could do was make sure I fell to the side where I hoped it was still clean and free of any such excrement from my body. When my landing was solid and not squishy I rejoiced in my success. Now if only there were something to drag me out of this hell I was stuck in.

Apparently I fell asleep because I was woken by someone approaching me and swearing profusely. Large hands gently rolled me over and I could only stare blankly ahead. Though the shaking in my body had stopped I still felt like I was freezing, but my body was shutting down. The feeling in my limbs was slowly fading and I was becoming number by the second.

The vague shapes I could see above me that seemed to indicate people, moved frantically. Except the one that had horns. My brain told me it must have been a helmet because people didn't have horns but my gut told me that was wrong. Really it didn't matter anymore and I couldn't be bothered to decide which was right. Something icy wrapped around my head but the heat that seemed to radiate from my head warmed it almost instantly.

Numbness continued to spread up my fingers and toes into my arms and legs. Slowly it was making its way to my organs and then my head. My eyes rolled up and my eyelids started to become heavy. Someone spoke softly but I was unable to make out what they were talking about, I no longer had the energy to try and understand what they were saying. There was a gruff response from the one who had horns before something cold and slippery was placed against my lips. Water, my slowly fading brain told me, drink it. The command never reached my mouth which remained slightly parted from its relaxed state and the liquid merely trickled out and down the sides of my jaw.

Clattering and the sound of two solid forces meeting.

The world was fading.

The deadened feeling reached my heart and lungs which started to slow down.

My brain slowly began shutting off.

Loud voices.

Rough movement, the world spinning.

Mouth open.

Disgusting.

Foul.

Swallowing.

Why?

Doesn't matter, it's here.

Darkness.

Then…

…nothing…

* * *

**Please leave me with a review with your thoughts! I'd love to hear them!**


	5. Hymn for the Missing- No We Cannot Go Back

**EDIT: So, I actually did a dumb thing and uploaded the wrong chapter. This one is actually chapter five, not chapter four. So hopefully things will make more sense if you read the previous chapter first. Sorry about that!**

**Sorry for the lateness of this chapter but I had a really busy couple of weeks and haven't been able to put as much time into this for the past while.**

**Thank you to all who have favorited/alerted this story! Your support is what keeps me writing!**

**Also if you haven't already, I highly suggest you also read the counter part of** _**Warriors: Sophi'Gaelea** _ **by** _**LadySonolia** _ **!**

* * *

Fire suddenly engulfed me entire body and caused me to spasm all at once throwing my limbs in every direction. My eyes flew open as I dragged in a ragged breath before it devolved into a coughing fit like one I'd never had before. Something flew from my mouth but I felt rather than saw it. My vision was blurry but only until I blinked and suddenly saw clearer than ever before.

There was a dark skinned man and a grey skinned, horned man above me. The brown man was standing but the horned one looked like he was sitting. Recognition came back in a flash and suddenly I knew who these two were.

Stiches and The Iron Bull.

Another face flashed in front of my vision, one with green eyes and long blonde hair, she was smiling happily.

Sophi…

I felt the feeling return to my body as I directed my gaze to the Bull who was grinning widely. I swung my arm up and tightly grasped the belt that crossed over his chest. I could feel the fire in me as I knew I would get through this, I couldn't afford to give up just yet.

"I… won't… die… from this…" I rasped in a voice that sounded like a zombie. I swallowed thickly and renewed the horrible taste in my mouth, "That was… disgusting…" was my last response before my energy was spent and my hand fell from the buckle and my head fell backwards onto the ground. There was a deep laugh from Bull as he took a bowl from a relieved looking Stitches. He pulled my head up and put the rim to my lips and tilted it, I once again identified it as water and drank heartily.

"I know you won't." he replied and once I was finished drinking, I let my head fall back against the ground and closed my eyes,

"Not dying… just… sleep…" I mumbled as I could feel myself start to drift off again. The mountain of blankets were piled back onto me and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, I felt warm.

* * *

" _We are going! Right now!" I exclaimed in a panic as I pack up what little we managed to bring with us into the increasingly ragged backpack before making my way to Sophi and helped her to her feet. I hoped with all my might that her leg would be healed enough that she would be able to walk quickly at the very least, but running would be preferable at this point, "The guys we are trying to avoid spotted me and have been following me. I think I led them the other way for now but we should go to the other place just to be safe." I inform her. She takes her backpack from my hand to heft it over her shoulders and tests her injured leg._

" _Okay, just give me a second. I'll go as fast as I can." when I see her wince I feel my lips tighten with concern and dismay, there's no way she'll be able to move faster than a brisk walk. True to her nature though, she does her best to hide it and bear with it as I help her to the entrance of the cave._

_The weather was absolutely miserable today. It was damp, cold and drizzling just enough to soak your clothes and make you feel even colder. I checked the surroundings to make sure that they were still clear before I led the way out. I intended to jog slightly ahead and scout the area to make sure it was safe for Sophi, but when she too started to run, I was shocked. There was no way that didn't hurt and I wasn't wanting to push her beyond her limits. With the sense of urgency that the situation called for, however, I selfishly refused to slow down. The sooner we got to the new cave that was a lot safer, the better._

_The path I'd been using twisted, turned, rose and fell and I worried about how well Sophi would be able to take it, but as we traversed the terrain she seemed to be keeping up well. The toll on her was slowly beginning to show though. Her breathing was ragged and uneven, her skin was becoming paler by the second and she was beginning to favor her right leg considerably. Nervously, I started to fidget with my locket letting its familiar weight and curves soothe my anxiety._

_On my next step I felt the sodden soil give way beneath my foot. Ass over teakettle, I tumbled down the slope to land in a muddy heap at the bottom._

* * *

Waking up the next time I was sweaty and overheating. In a frenzy to cool myself down I threw all the heavy blankets off me as fast as I could in any direction I was able. Then I pulled my stiff body into a sitting position just in time to feel the hungry grumble of my stomach. There was a mug of water positioned beside me and I counted myself lucky that I had somehow missed it with all the flying covers, nonetheless, quickly I grabbed it and downed its contents.

The soft pattering of rain against the canvas of my temporary abode caught my attention next. The Storm Coast was still holding true to its name… deciding that I had enough strength to stand, I got my feet underneath me and while balancing with my hands, I tried to lift my body. I was successful until I tried to fully straighten my legs and my muscles spasmed and dropped me back down to my knees. The jarring action started up a throbbing in my head and I doubled over to try and alleviate the pain. It worked slightly and the pressure slowly started to ease.

"Finally awake I see. You gave us quite the scare yesterday. What with dying and all." Stitches stated nonchalantly as he entered the tent with what smelled like food. Glancing up, I noticed that he was wearing armor this time. It wasn't complete, like Krem but he did have a breastplate and pauldrons on to protect his upper body. Had there been a fight or something?

"You're telling me. What did I eat that tasted like shit?" I asked and watched him sigh and shake his head,

"That was a poultice. The Chief likes to drink it after a particularly difficult battle to get him back on his feet. I suppose he thought it would have the same effect on you." I felt my jaw drop in shock.

"He made me _eat_ a _poultice_?! But… poultices aren't meant to be eaten! Jesus, I was lucky I didn't die anyways!" I exclaimed completely and utterly flabbergasted. Then it sunk in that I'd nearly died. No, scratch that, I _had_ died and was able to be resuscitated in time to be brought back. Even with the modern medicine that existed back home, that was an extremely difficult and rare task. So for it to have happened to me here was an unbelievable stroke of luck. That said, I don't think I'd ever be that lucky again so I needed to be more careful from here on out.

"My thoughts exactly. Now while you're awake and seemingly getting better, we need to get your strength up so this doesn't happen again. I don't want a repeat of that, ever." The bowl he was carrying was placed in front of me and I could see that it looked like a stew or a soup of some kind.

My stomach rumbled again and deciding that it was less likely to kill me than the poultice I was forced to swallow I picked up the spoon and started to eat. Taking a bite I determined that it was a different kind of meat than the beef equivalent I'd been eating until now, this one seemed slightly chewier and had a similar texture as pork from back home. I wasn't able to completely identify the vegetables but they were good nonetheless. I did my best to eat quickly in order to sate my hunger but I tried not to eat too quickly so I didn't upset my still volatile stomach.

"Where are we now? How far is it to the 'Vints that have Sophi?" I asked expectantly and Stitches pressed his lips in a thin line. The food I had just eaten turned sour in my stomach as I waited for his answer.

"We haven't found them yet. There are tracks leading in the direction of the camp we found you in and another set heading in a different direction, but they're old. The rain that we've been having for the past couple days has erased them almost entirely. The only reason the trackers were able to find them at all was because of the cart, it must have been really heavy for it to make such deep marks in the road." He explained and I could feel the anxiety over Sophi's safety begin to rise once again. I suppose being used to having the ability to travel extremely quickly by motorized vehicle has made my expectations for speed unattainable here.

"Okay, thanks." I mumbled before I put the now empty bowl and spoon in my one hand and used the other to balance myself as I once again tried to stand. My legs wobbled dangerously but I stubbornly continued and once again I got most of the way up, until I went to straighten my legs and another spasm caught me and knocked me back on my ass. The bowl went flying from my hand when I couldn't keep hold of it in my fall.

"Let me see your legs." The dark skinned man said as he knelt down beside my calves. Carefully he started to unwrap the bandages from around my legs so he could examine the wounds on the back of them. I prepared myself for the worst when the white cloth strips came off but when they did I realized that there wasn't anything to be nervous about. They had healed nicely, and were almost nothing more than a red line across my skin. It was still jagged and very red, not quite the light pink of completely healed but it was still mended enough that _I_ didn't think that it would need bandages anymore, but it really wasn't my call. "They look good, I don't think they'll need any more wrapping, you'll just have to be careful not to reopen them. You're most likely only having difficulty standing because you haven't used your legs in a few days."

"A few days? How long was I sick?" I asked horrified before I could think that this may not be a question I want answered.

"You were delirious with a fever for nearly five days. Two days ago, made five and also when your body seemingly lost the battle against the sickness you picked up." He explained and I felt myself go numb. No wonder I died. Delirious with a fever? I've never had a temperature that high in all my life. Let alone for _five days straight_.

"I…see…"

"I'll need to check the ones on your back as well." He said and I could feel my face heat up as I began to pull my arms through the sleeves. He'd done this before right? Plus this time I was awake to give him any trouble if there was any funny business. Although to be fully honest I really didn't think Stitches would try anything and it was more of my brain just imagining overreacting as usual. Once I was able to pull the garment up over my head, I made sure I was able to cover my front at all times. The familiar pulling sensation from my back twinged painfully as I pulled my arms up over my head. Next came the unwinding of the cloths wrapped around my torso. I was slightly unnerved when his hands came around my front but I kept my cool when his hands didn't even so much as twitch in the wrong direction. "Hmmm, these ones look like they're not healing quite as well. I'll put some more salve on them and wrap them once more and then they should heal well enough on their own." Was the diagnosis before he opened a jar and put a cold and slightly tingly cream like substance over the scars. I have to admit the sensation was not unpleasant and it was soothing to the slight ache that seemed to always persist in my muscles. Especially the ones in my back.

"Hey Stiches, are you finished yet? The Chief is getting impatient, says he can smell the 'Vints nearby." The familiar voice of Gaelic sounded from outside the tent as the man in question finished wrapping the last bandage around my stomach which had gotten significantly smaller since I'd gotten here. I could clearly see the outline of my ribcage against my skin. At the moment, however, there were more important things that required my attention.

"Where are you going?" I asked with anticipation. Maybe they were heading out to go find Sophi!

"Nearly done." He replied to the blonde waiting outside before moving on to my question, "We're going to see if we can find the company that's transporting your friend." I felt my heart skip a beat at his response. Once he moved to get up I assumed that it was safe to put my clothing back on, so I did as fast as I could. Then once the tunic was back on and in place, I crawled over to where the borrowed pair of boots laid by the tent flap and pulled those on too. "Oh, no. You're staying here. You're in no condition to be travelling let alone fighting. Assuming you even know how in the first place." He warned me, but I disregarded him completely and instead did my best to try and stand once more, this time I was able to use the pole to support and balance myself which made things slightly easier.

"You said I needed to use my legs more in order to get them back into acceptable condition to be walking on. This seems like a perfect opportunity to do so," at this point I levelled my most severe glare at him, "and if you think even for one second I am okay with staying behind while you guys are out searching for _my_ friend, then you have another thing coming." Was my determined admonition and Stitches could only sigh and roll his eyes at me. I would wait until they left and then follow behind if I had to. I took the opportunity of his momentary distraction to grab the cloak I'd worn last time I travelled and did my best to put it on with only one hand since the other was full keeping me balanced against the tent pole.

"Stubborn… very well, go on, they're waiting for us." He gave in and with a triumphant grin I took a wobbly step out of the canvas shelter. "I'm going to regret this, I just know it." I ignored that statement as I made my way to the group of people standing in armor near the edge of the camp. My legs threatened to give out at every step and I carved a very uneven path through the camp in order to keep my balance. I had no doubt that it looked quite comical but I didn't care in the slightest. I thought I was doing very well for someone that was still recovering from horrible injuries and a recent brush with death.

"Whoa, Maker's Breath what do you think you're doing, Arryn?" exclaimed Gaelic as he immediately rushed to my side to support me as I made a very dangerous lean to one side, "You should still be in bed resting! Your injuries haven't fully healed and you should still be sick!" I could hear the uncharacteristic worry in his voice but I hardly paid any attention.

"The only thing I'm sick of, is being told what I can't do." I retorted before I caught The Iron Bull's eye and stared him down, "And you'd better not tell me I'm staying here because I'm not. This is my friend and I'll be damned if I'm not there to make sure she's okay and safely out of that hell." There was a moment of silence before he huffed in a sound that reminded me, ironically, of a bull.

"And how do you intend to defend yourself against an angry 'Vint?" he posed and I darkened my glare at the mention of those bastards, I felt Gaelic move away from me slightly at the intensity of the look on my face. Bull didn't even blink at the change,

"Give me a knife and watch me stick him where it hurts. I'll make them bleed for what they did to me and her." I growled through clenched teeth and a snarl on my face. My hands formed into fists so tight my arms began to shake with the sheer force of tightening the muscles. I only imagined finally getting my revenge for the marks that I was sure would be permanent on my back. The thought filled me with determination.

"That doesn't answer my question. If a guy comes at you with a sword, how are you going to react? He'll be sticking you before you even come close to him." Bull responded as he walked up and stood right in front of me and I have to admit I was more than slightly intimidated. He too was decked out in his armor with that gigantic axe in the center of his back. Not to mention the most obvious factor of his enormous height, I realized at this point he must be nearly three feet taller than me.

"I'll be making sure the pointy end isn't going into me." I answered and watched as he frowned deeply.

"No, you're staying here. Leave the bad guys to us. We'll make sure your friend makes it out alright." He responded coolly and I nearly launched myself at him. The only thing that stopped me was the sudden grip on my arms from the blonde who until now had been supporting me.

"No, you can't leave me here! I refuse to be left behind like some helpless female!" I exclaimed and took a step forward but landed wrong on my foot and my right knee gave out from beneath me. It was only due to Gaelic being immediately right beside me that I didn't fall to the ground.

"If you can't stand by yourself, you can't fight by yourself. You're staying here. Chargers, move out." He commanded and without another word to me, he turned and started leading the ragtag group down the path lined with deep cart wheel marks. Gaelic helped me back to my own two feet before giving me a solemn stare.

"I'll make sure your friend knows we're the good guys. What's her name?" he asked and I continued to glower in the direction that the group was leaving.

"Her name's Sophi." I responded as I looked to him and he nodded before giving me a nod and his signature boyish smile. Once he was sure I was steady on my feet he ran to catch up with the rest of the group. It looks like I'd have to use plan B.

* * *

_I do my best to recover as fast as I can from my tumble just in time to see Sophi come down the slippery drop and land heavily on her injured leg. She grimaced with pain as her body collapses to the ground. Alarmed, I rush to her side as she does her best to get back to her feet only to be waved away,_

" _No, keep going. I heard something behind us when we went down." She hisses through clenched teeth as she once again starts to move. I nod silently and look back up from where we came with a feeling of being watched before I started to head back in our original direction. After another minute or two, the feeling faded away and I just chalked it up to my overactive imagination._

" _Almost there!" I informed her when I recognized a gnarly tree I'd used as a landmark that heralded that we were getting close. I looked back to see Sophi looking like she was going to throw up at any moment and doubled back to help her. Putting her arm over my shoulders I took the weight off her leg and helped her continue on. We were so close now, "I can see it now. We are practically there!" I rejoiced as I noticed that there was no longer a steady drizzle making my spine unbearably cold. Now everything seemed eerily silent, like the calm before the storm. A lump settled itself into my stomach that told me something was wrong. I did my best to ignore it as we crested a hill with a large rock on the top, "Come on, we just have to get up with rock—" I was cut off with the sound of shattering glass that covered the area in a thick smoke._

* * *

I wasted no time going back to the tent I was occupying under the guise of getting some more rest but once I was inside I quickly took off the cloak and bunched it up so under the blanket that covered the bed roll, it looked vaguely human. Then I pulled the covers up over the pillow and after quickly checking to make sure it still looked like a human, I moved myself to the back of the tent. The canvas was a little loose and with a little strain I was able to lift it far enough off the ground to slip underneath. The tent was at the edge of camp so I was able to easily slip into the treeline unnoticed.

My wobbling caused me a few problems with bumping into trees, but thankfully since it had rained earlier today, I didn't have to worry about stepping on any dry twigs that would crack and snap under my weight. Once I was sure, that I wasn't being followed by any of the people left at the camp, I made my way back to the road and doing my best to be as quiet as I could while also trying to not fall flat on my face.

Thankfully it had stopped raining and following the tracks that were left behind by the group were very clear and easy to follow. The uneven ground beneath my already unstable feet did make being quiet and sneaky a little more difficult though and I was thoroughly cursing my lack of coordination and balance the whole time. Especially since I needed to hurry as I didn't know how far ahead of me they had gotten.

Rounding a bend I finally caught sight of the tail end of the company and did my best to hide behind a tree just off the side of the road so they didn't see me. Then once they were out of sight again I started running once more. If there was anything that was good about this situation, it was that my legs were steadily becoming stronger. Even if my left calf and right knee were burning with exertion. It was worth it if I would be able to be there when they rescued Sophi. Jogging silently along the road I was just getting close to the corner that they had rounded when a hand grabbed my arm from the bushes and pulled me in before I could react at all.

"You! What are you doing here?!" hissed a male voice that I instantly recognized as Gaelic. My heart slowed down from its frantic beating for only a moment before I saw the look of fury etched into his usually happy features.

"I told you, I refused to stay behind while you guys rescued Sophi!" I hissed back with venom. He looked around and licked his lips nervously,

"Look, go back to camp right now! I signalled the other scout to go warn the Boss that someone was following us and when he finds out it was you, and he _will_ find out trust me, we're both going to be in big trouble." He replied with more than just a little fear in his eyes but I remained unmoved.

"I don't care, I'm not going back. Now let me go." I demanded and he continued to glare at me,

"You stubborn… gah! Fine you get your way, but don't say I didn't warn you!" was the heated reply before he dragged me back out of the bush and onto the road just in time to face the very angry Qunari that was stomping towards us so heavily I swore I could feel the earth shaking beneath my feet. I refused to back up even a step as I met his one-eyed glare the whole way. The fear I did feel in my stomach showed through in a slight shaking of my hands so I clenched them in preparation for the hell storm I was about to face. He stopped so close to me I had to crane my neck to continue looking him in the eye and still refused to move even an inch from where I stood.

"I _told_ you to _stay at_ _ **camp**_ **.** _ **What**_ are you doing _here_?" was the seething question levelled at me through gritted teeth and this time I knew I could feel the vibrations of his voice not only in the air but the very ground itself. For the first time I was truly afraid of him and I remembered that he could crush me as easily as I could a fly. I swallowed heavily as the shaking in my fists continued to worsen and a cold shiver went up my spine.

"I said I refused to be left behind. So here I am." I replied with determination and hoped my voice didn't sound as shaky as it felt. His close proximity was really beginning to take its toll on me.

" _Go back,_ _ **now.**_ " He ordered and for a moment I felt myself waver before I locked my knees to prevent them from buckling on me and shook off Gaelic's support.

"No, this is my best friend, someone I could consider a sister. I have more right than anyone to be here than anyone else to protect her this time when I failed before. I'm not going anywhere except to the 'Vints' camp." I argued back fiercely and for a moment I saw the anger on his face be replaced with a look of sympathy before it was gone again and irritation took its place. For the next few moments we tried to stare each other down until he groaned with frustration and dragged a hand down his face.

"Fine, we're likely closer to finding the Tevinter bastards at this point anyways. You're walking though, since you've proved you can. Keep up, Gaelic back to scouting with Skinner, make sure no one _else_ decides to follow us." He ordered and I grinned triumphantly as The Iron Bull turned back around to continue on the original path. I took one step after him only for my knees to buckle beneath me now that the adrenaline rush I'd received from going toe-to-toe with the horned giant was gone.

I did my best to try and catch myself but unfortunately I'd used up all my coordination points for the day and I fell down. I quickly tried to get up but unfortunately I wasn't fast enough and when I heard a mumbled, "For fucks sake." I knew I hadn't been fast enough. What I wasn't expecting, however, was the hand grabbing the back on my tunic and lifting me into the air before I was roughly set back on my feet. I wobbled for a moment until I was able to regain my balance.

"Thanks." I mumbled as I tried to make my shaky legs catch up with his unforgiving brisk pace that he set. His steps continued to be heavy and shake the ground making it slightly more difficult to keep my balance, but I dared not complain and therefore draw attention to myself. Especially since I doubted it would be attention I wanted. If his stomping was any indication, he was still very much upset I had defied a direct order from him.

Turns out The Chargers weren't that far ahead, but I had a feeling it was because they'd stopped to tend to Dalish who was doubled over and looking much the worse for wear.

"What's going on?" Bull asked as we approached.

"Is that the one that was tailing us?" the Lieutenant asked with a smirk and Bull gave me another sideways glare,

"Yes, she refused to stay at camp." He growled before turning his attention back to the elf woman that was hunched over at the waist, "What's wrong Dalish?"

"I could have told you that Chief." Krem responded snarkily and the horned man grunted in return.

"I feel a heavy magical residue in the air. It's like nothing I've ever sensed before." The tattooed elf explained as she continued to remain sickened by the 'magical residue in the air' whatever that meant. "Something happened here. Something big."

"Chargers, Horns Up. On your guard, expect 'Vints any second." Ordered Bull and at once all the people present drew their weapons, Bull put me down and pulled his own weapon from his back. We then continued onwards, albeit at a much slower pace now due to Dalish who only seemed to worsen the farther we walked. I began to grow nervous, are we sure that we wanted to be going _in_ the direction of the gigantic magical activity. "I don't like this, something's not right." Bull stated after a few moments of silence. Just before two scouts that were ahead of the main group came running back, they were both white as sheets.

"Boss, we found the Tevinter camp you told us about, but…" one started and then looked to the other who continued his sentence,

"You're not going to like it…"

"What happened?"

"It's gone, everything even the bodies…" he gagged off to the side and I could once again feel the trembling in my limbs. No, no nonononononononono. Bodies?

"Something huge blew up, the camp is nothing but a crater now. The 'Vints nothing but charred piles on the ground." The second explained and I felt my stomach sink into my knees. This can't be happening… she… she _can't_ be… I didn't even want to think the word lest I jinx it.

"That's probably the magic Dalish is sensing. Damn mages…" he huffed and I slowly and numbly pushed my way to the front.

"Was there a cage?" I dared ask and the scout who hadn't threatened to vomit right in front of us looked to me, and I would wish in a moment that I hadn't asked. I would have preferred not to know,

"Yes there was and some poor soul who was trapped inside."

* * *

_I cough and cover my nose and mouth with my sleeve but I can still smell the gas that surrounded us. It stung my eyes and burned the back of my throat._

" _Arry, go! You can make it if you run! Leave now!" Sophi ordered me right before she coughed, cutting her off, "Arry…"_

" _There is no fucking way in hell I would abandon you here! So if that's what you're going to say shut up!" I retorted, offended to think that she thought I would willingly abandon her here. She unhooked her arm from over my shoulder and tried to push me away but I was stubborn and hoisted it back up when she failed to remain standing._

_Knowing that we can't stay in this cloud of whatever it is, I try to get out only to be confronted with someone wearing a thick cloth over their face to protect themselves from the gas surrounding us. He reaches for me and I lash out with my fist, connecting with his cheek, while another tried to sneak around me to grab Sophi. With a snarl I kick as hard as I can and send them toppling to the ground when I take their legs out from under them. In the next second I feel Sophi's weight leave my side as she goes to tackle another who was sneaking up behind us._

" _Sophi!" I exclaimed when she failed to get back up. Watching people close in around us, I attempted to leap to her aid only to feel hands painfully grasp my arms before I feel a blow to my head and everything goes dark._

* * *

I heard the words but my body moved on its own. Suddenly I was running, hands tried to stop me and voices yelled but I was in a state of frenzy. I didn't hear anything except the prayer to any and every god that may or may not exist to let Sophi be alive and not dead like I feared she would be.

My legs no longer tried to trip me up in the middle of my gait as I ran faster than I could ever remember running in my life. My heart pounded in my chest and in my ears downing out all other sounds except for my breath which came in sporadic gasps. My legs began to burn from the exertion but I refused to slow even a little. The ground began to shake beneath me which only caused me to run harder. For some reason my mind told me that was a bad thing. I ran until I turned a corner and suddenly I was gifted a face full of the most horrible stench I'd ever smelled. It was so pungent I gagged once and knew that wasn't the end of it and made it to a bush just in time to vomit up what little I had in my stomach.

"Maker's Balls!" cried one of the company that had finally caught up to me, there were more sounds of others losing whatever meal they'd had last. I was glad that I wasn't the only one, but as I made myself look back up to the scene that was before me I just about threw up again.

There was nothing but a blackened crater where a camp used to be. Charred remains of what I assumed to be bodies littered the area. The stench was nearly unbearable and I was forced to cover my nose with my arm to avoid throwing up again. Absolutely nothing remained of the area, even the trees were blackened on the sides closest to the explosion that happened. Then I saw it.

The melted crumbling metal.

The charred, blackened wood almost completely turned to ash.

Then the lump of a vaguely human shaped charcoal inside what was left of a cage on wheels.

Numbly, I staggered towards it, my legs no longer had their smooth unfaltering gait. Now they were barely strong enough to hold me upright. My bad knee constantly gave out beneath me, while my left calf burned like it was on fire. A wetness told me I had probably reopened the wound. The one behind my knee was most likely not far behind.

Reaching the cage, I stared into the blackened, hollowed out eye sockets of what used to be my best friend. The jaw was open in a silent scream that would never end. The rags that could barely count as clothing fluttered slightly in the light breeze that was just barely noticeable in the air. I reached up to grip what was left of the bars tightly between my unfeeling fingers.

_You were too late. She's dead. It's your fault. You spent all that time sleeping instead of looking for her. If you'd been more vigilant and tried harder you probably would have been able to save her. You would have gotten here on time to prevent this from ever happening. But look what happened instead._

Her bright smiling face flashed in front of me for a moment before it faded to the charred visage that lay before me.

Her gleaming blonde hair that always seemed so smooth and shiny flying in the wind, replaced by the rags waving pathetically.

Her always cheerful upbeat personality, now just a memory.

She was gone.

_Dead._

I slid to my knees as a hand was laid on my shoulder and let out a wailing keen that sounded like a dying animal. Maybe to a point it was, there was a growing pain in my chest that hurt with every beat of my heart and with every breath I took. Doing my best to stay alive all this time just no longer seemed like it was worth it. It was all for nothing in the end.

My breaths were coming in short gasps as I did my best to make as little noise as possible. I don't think I succeeded well at all though as the hand remained on my shoulder and gave a reassuring squeeze. My hands fell from the bars as I began to curl up into a ball filled with nothing but pain. The agony in my chest was becoming unbearable as my heart continued to beat and I wished it would stop. Everything seemed to hurt these last few days and I was tired of it. There was no longer any point anymore. Maybe I would get lucky and the Chargers would just leave me here to wallow away until there was nothing left. I doubted it would take long.

The tears soaked my hands as I covered my face to hide the misery that was no doubt leaking through every possible pore and opening. The shuddering gasps in between sobs had me breaking down completely. The pain that was in my chest had become sharper and it now felt like someone or something was trying to claw its way out of my chest with a dull, rusty knife. It seemed to increase with every beat and I curled up tighter in hopes it would help. It didn't.

Voices spoke all around me but I didn't understand and nor did I care. There was no point anymore. I was worthless. I'd failed the one thing I truly needed to do in this world. I'd lost the only person that mattered to me, now what? My mind asked and I honestly had no answer. Before it had been 'I have to find Sophi' but now I had no purpose. No one left who cared. Never before had I felt so alone surrounded by so many people. A hand tugged gently on my arm and with reluctance I allowed them to pull my hand away from my face and instead relied on a curtain of hair to hide my tear stained appearance.

A glint of silver caught my eye and I looked up to see a pin shining in the light of the sun. There was a diamond like shape on it that a corner of my mind told me I should recognize. I pulled my arm from whoever it was' grip and lunged for the bag the pin was attached to. My fingers closed around stiff leather and once I dragged it towards me I was able to see that I did in fact know this bag and the metal pin. New tears sprang to my eyes as I hugged Sophi's backpack tight to my chest like a child would their favorite blanket.

There were more voices around me before I felt two hands on my arms gently pull me into a standing position. Then another two picked me up and I continued to bury my face into the leather bag that was the only reminder I'd ever had another friend in this world.

* * *

**Well there it is! I hope you all enjoyed it! Leave me with a review with your thoughts if you would like!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	6. Hymn for the Missing- To The Way it Used to Be

_ **!!!!! TRIGGER WARNING!!!! SUICIDE AND SELF HARM APPEARS IN THIS CHAPTER!!!!!** _

**So I realize that this is extremely late and I apologize for that, but I was re-reading the chapter and I was hating where it went. So I rewrote the majority of this chapter and as such now I need to rewrite all future chapters that I have already finished. If anything doesn't make sense, someone is out of character, or I've forgotten something about the DA universe please let me know so I can fix it!**

**Thank you to all who have been reading, favoriting, bookmarking, commenting and reviewing this story! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support! If you like this story, I HIGHLY recommend you read its counterpart _Warriors: Sophi'Gaelea_ by  _LadySonolia_! **

* * *

 

Morning came and went with a blink of my eyes, the afternoon and evening were much the same. The night was the only thing that seemed to last the longest. The darkness wrapped me in its black embrace and kept me awake. Her bag, which I’d been using as an anchor to keep me from completely wasting away, I clutched it tightly both night and day. The only time I managed to let go of it was when I had to relieve myself. Those were the only times I’d ever left my tent since that horrific day that still gave me nightmares regularly.

Often I would wake up in a cold sweat with a scream lodged in the back of my throat. I would grip the backpack hardest and wait until I could breathe normally again without having the worry of shrieking into the night. Or sometimes it was the day, but it never really mattered anymore.

People would come in and leave plates of food and water but I had no energy to make an effort to consume either most times. The scent of the food made me feel sick and whenever I drank the water, it always tasted stale and unsatisfying.

Sometimes Gaelic would come and try to get me to talk. He would tell funny stories that would normally have me crying with laughter, only I didn’t find them funny anymore. I knew he meant well, but he just seemed to annoy me more and more every time he decided to talk to me. Often he would bring food as well, although it didn’t help me think any higher of him. The smell combined with the annoyance of his over joyous personality was too much to handle. These were the times when I tried the most often to fall asleep.

Stitches continued to check my whip scars. They no longer needed bandages and I think he made a comment about how well they were healing but I didn’t pay much attention. Sometimes I wondered if it would be better if I were to get an infection and waste away slowly. But then I would be reminded that’s almost exactly what I was doing.

I could tell I’d lost a significant amount of weight because I could now see the outline of almost all my bones. My menstrual cycle had also stopped. I only noticed after I remembered I definitely should have woken up with blood between my legs by now. If anything though, the lack of bleeding was a blessing since it was one less thing to worry about. Plus the less blood that physically left my body the better, it felt like the gaping hole in my chest was doing a well enough job of that all on its own.

I avoided The Iron Bull as much as I could. For whatever reason (I didn’t really care to soul search enough to find out) I felt extreme loathing for him like I’d never experienced before. He once made the mistake of trying to see how I was doing and I’d given him the nastiest glare I’ve ever given anyone before attempting to stab him with the bread knife someone had left on the untouched plate of food beside me. He took the hint after that and hasn’t attempted another approach. Maybe I blamed him or something? I didn’t know and like I said, I didn’t care.

The few times I’d emerged from my tent while others were wandering around outside, all activity would stop until I’d either returned to my tent or walked away entirely. There were hushed conversations afterwards which I did my best to ignore. Almost always I was successful because usually sleep would claim me soon after returning to the tent or I would walk out of earshot.

We’d had to pack up camp at a couple points and I had been forced to walk along with everyone else. More often than not they tried to get Bull to carry me but any time someone suggested that I gave them my deadliest glare until they backed away and dropped the subject entirely. Then once we’d find a new place to camp everything would start all over again.

* * *

 

Gasping I pried myself from the dream I had where I was drowning in the middle of the ocean with weights tied to my ankles slowly pulling me further and further down into the darkness. I rubbed my eyes and did my best to try and remember just exactly where I was. All around me I was surrounded by black, not a single point of illumination. A jolt of panic went through me when I realized I wasn’t holding onto her backpack. Where was it? Frantically I started patting the space around me and after what was really only a moment or two, but felt like an eternity, my hand landed on the familiar leather. Gripping it tightly I pulled it to my chest and curled around it while I sat up in the bedroll.

After another few moments when I felt my body calm down slightly, I decided I no longer wanted to be in this suddenly claustrophobic room. I felt around until I found my boots and then I pulled them on one after the other before I exited the tent.

As I suspected, the camp was completely void of any living being. Even the fire had long since been put out and no longer had even burning embers to show for it. Despite the fact that we were still on the Storm Coast, it was a relatively peaceful night. There were clouds in the sky which blocked out the view of the stars but that was fine with me. Lately they just made me feel even lonelier in this cruel new world.

There was a cliffside right on the edge of the camp and I made my way over to it and sat right before the brink. Not quite so far that I could dangle my legs over the dangerous precipice, but just close enough that when I looked straight ahead, I could only see the land below the cliff. I set the bag in my lap with my arms folded around it loosely.

“What are you doing up so late?” rumbled a deep voice and I felt an instant bolt of anger strike me right at my shattered, bleeding core.

“Leave me alone.” I hissed venomously and gripped the bag tighter, closing myself around it like it would protect me from the one who was continuing with his advance towards me. He should count himself lucky there weren’t any sharp objects around me this time, but I did grab a nice sized rock right beside my leg.

“Done that for the past while, doesn’t seem to have done much good. So, what, are you just going to be miserable for the rest of your life? Somehow, I don’t think that’s what your friend would have wanted for you.” I whipped around to throw the rock I had firmly in my grip and was satisfied to hear it hit my target with a smack and a low grunt. I continued to glare at him like never before although the effect was lost in the darkness.

“How would _you_ know what she wanted? You never even met her! She was **_dead_** by the time you got to her! You said you would help, but you **_lied_**.” I spat before turning back around to bury my face in the soft leather and hoped my salty tears wouldn’t ruin it. There was a moment or two of silence before I heard him sit down beside me, “Didn’t you _hear me?_ I want to be left _alone_!” I sprayed him with a shower of dirt and pebbles, hoping that he would take the hint.

“Attack me all you want if that makes you feel better, but being alone is not what you _need_ right now. It gave you some time to sort some things out and figure out others, but now you need to talk about it, get the burden off your chest.” He stated with great insight and I was once again thrown for a loop at his intelligence, “You’re right, I didn’t meet her, but I know that I wouldn’t want anything like this for any of my Chargers were some asshole to take me out. So if she was such a good friend, she wouldn’t want you to waste your life away like this either.” He said blatantly and I was having a hard time keeping his voice out of my head. I already had enough voices in there telling me things, I didn’t need another one barging in.

“Don’t you _dare_ speak of her that way, like you knew her.” was my scathing response, “You don’t even deserve to know she existed at all, especially since it’s all your fault.” My own admission shocked me. The hate building inside me calmed slightly when I finally acknowledged this to be true. There was a beat of silence before he calmly asked,

“You blame me for her death. Why?”

“If you had only done something sooner, gone out searching for her earlier, taken longer trips while looking, _anything_ maybe she would have been found before whatever it was had happened, happened.” A part of me told me I was being inconsiderate and asking for too much from someone who had very little, if anything, to gain from rescuing some girl at the behest of another.

“From what Dalish could tell, the magical residue left behind by the explosion was weeks old. It would have been impossible to find her before that since we hadn’t even attacked the camp carrying you yet.” I shook my head in response, not accepting his answer,

“Something could have been done, there must have had to be something that could have happened to save her.” my limbs started to shake uncontrollably. Just the thought that she had died for no reason was enough to send me into a panic.

“Face it, there was nothing.”

“There had to! There absolutely had to! Otherwise why did fate choose _me_ to live and _her_ to die? It doesn’t make any sense!” I screamed desperately as I turned to look him in the face.

“Fate favors no one. She takes and gives where she sees fit and nothing more. Obviously there’s some reason why you’re alive and if you give up now, you’ll never find it and you will have lived for nothing. Her death will have meant _nothing_.” He replied sternly and a small part of me was slowly beginning to believe him, but more quickly, my anger towards him extinguished it.

“It already means nothing. No one gained anything from her death, I only lost a sister and my reason to continue fighting. I don’t see the point of continuing to force myself through this miserable existence called a life any longer.” With that I shakily pulled myself to my feet and walked the few steps towards the edge, Sophi’s backpack cradled tightly in my arms. I heard the commotion of him quickly getting to his feet but I only had eyes for the view of the valley below me that would be my final resting place. A large hand closed around my arm above my elbow just as I was a step away from the ledge and I glanced back to see a large silhouette attached to an outstretched arm. “Let me go.” I demanded and struggled to free my arm but to no avail.

“Give me one good reason to.” He replied calmly and when the grip didn’t lessen I switched my grasp on the bag to my hand that was being restrained by the large man.

“I’m done, I’ve had enough of this godforsaken place. Now with Sophi gone, there’s nothing for me here. Now. Let. Me. Go.” I punctuated each word with a hit to his stomach. Surprisingly, he allowed me to do this, even when I got him good right in the solar plexus, but he never even lessened his grip on my arm. My throat began to get clogged up and it became hard to breathe. Just the thought of her was too painful to bear, “Let me go... Please…” hot tears rolled down my cheeks as I continued to try and half-heartedly tug my arm from his grasp, “Everything hurts… I just want it to stop…” I sobbed as I clutched the bag to my chest which only made me hurt more. There was a huff from the large man in front of me before I felt my arm drop and a hand placed on my back that pulled me into an awkward one armed hug.

“I hate this mushy crap…” he mumbled with his strange accent and I assumed he didn’t mean for me to hear him, but being as close as I was, it was difficult not to, “I’m sorry we weren’t able to save Sophi, she obviously meant a lot to you.” His words washed over me and broke what little control I had left over my tears, soon I wasn’t able to stop them as they ran in rivers down my cheeks. I brought my hands up to cover my face as I continued to sob uncontrollably. Despite everything, the hand on my back and the warm body in front of me comforted me more than I ever imagined it would.

I wasn’t sure how long I stood there and cried onto The Iron Bull but I was sure it was a decent amount of time since I didn’t remember going back into my tent.

* * *

 

Waking up the next morning I found myself quite stiff and equally sore like I’d been sleeping in the same position all night. I carefully stretched out my legs before I followed through with my arms and then arched my back opposite of the curled position that I had been in before. It was at this point that I noticed three important things.

One: I had slept the night through without any nightmares and for the first time in weeks I truly felt rested.

Two: I was not in my tent.

Three: I was not alone.

There was a warmth at my back that was doing such an efficient job at keeping warm that I didn’t even notice a lack of blankets throughout the night. I rubbed my eyes and did my best to blink away the blurriness to glance behind me only to see that the source of my warmth was none other than Bull himself. He lay flat on his back and snored lightly looking the least threatening I’ve ever seen him. That wasn’t saying a whole lot though considering he still looked more intimidating than anything I’ve ever seen in my life.

“It’s so _cuuuuuute._ ” Squealed a voice from in front of me and I whipped around to see none other than Gaelic squatting right beside me grinning like a child on Christmas staring at how I was curled up beside the mercenary leader. Quickly I checked the rest of the camp to try and see if anyone else was up to witness me like this and was relieved to see no one else up and moving around camp.

“It figures that you’d be the one to see this…” I groaned as I lifted myself up onto my knees and winced when the action pulled at the scars on my back.

“Don’t worry, he’s not the only one.” A second voice stated from behind me and I turned once again to see Krem standing over the still snoring form of The Iron Bull, “Come on, Chief you can stop pretending now, she’s awake.” The Lieutenant prodded the supposedly sleeping mercenary only to watch as he stopped snoring immediately and get up with a groan. Rubbing the back of his neck he turned to me with a worried expression on his face and I instantly felt dislike start to boil up from the recesses of my stomach. It was nothing compared to the hate that I felt towards him yesterday but it was enough to make me scowl darkly and walk away from him to go to my own tent. I felt used, and my pride was still wounded from allowing myself to break down yesterday, especially since it had been in front of the Qunari man that I’d woken up beside this morning,

“Arryn, it’s Gaelic. I need to speak with you, may I come in?” his familiar voice sounded from just outside the canvas of my tent. I sat heavily on the bed roll that was laid out on the ground and gazed blankly down at the bag in my grasp.

“I guess so.” Was my non-committal reply as I heard him enter before he walked around into my line of vision and sat in front of me, “What is it?” I asked getting straight to the point as I fingered the soft leather and stared without seeing at the pin of a silver diamond shaped dragon on a black background. A deep seated ache had made itself home in my heart and it slowly began to spread to other parts of my body.

“How are you holding up?” he inquired and I gave him an unimpressed glare which he returned with a straight face, “I’m serious. Are you well? You have not been eating, Stitches is worried, the Boss is worried, _I_ am worried. Do you want to talk about it?” He asked softly and I continued to stare blankly at the bag in front of me,

“No, I don’t.” I responded sharply and hoped he would take the hint. Unfortunately Gaelic, either missed it entirely or was ignoring it on purpose. At this rate I was really beginning to think that he was intentionally doing his best to bother me as much as possible, “Why do you even bother to care? You’re mercenaries; why does my wellbeing trouble you?” I spat angrily and glanced up to see his face devolve into an expression of shock. I refused to back down though, and held his bright green gaze with my grey one until he looked away.

“We’re not heartless, despite what many people may think. Stitches is worried, because he was the one to make sure you would make it through the whip wounds on your back, so now he feels he is responsible for your health. The Boss is worried because you are with us, therefore under his care and protection, just like the rest of us.” He responded honestly and I accepted his explanation with a nod. We sat in silence after that and I hoped that he would once again take the hint that I wanted to be alone, but when he continued to fidget and continuously change positions, I finally got fed up with him and left the tent.

It was raining outside this time but I didn’t care as I made my way to the treeline on the opposite side of camp from the Cliffside. It might be a little drier in there and it would also be easier to avoid people, or more specifically just Gaelic, since he seemed to be the only one intent on bothering me today.

“Hey Arryn, wait! You’ll catch cold again!” the blonde who was insistent on following me called as he jogged up behind me with my oiled cloak in his hand while a deep hood hid his face from me. I only stared unseeing at the folds of black fabric he was holding,

“Good,” his hand jerked back at my unexpected response before I turned away and continued walking, “maybe this time I’ll stay dead.” I mumbled before entering the treeline. If the lack of footsteps were any indication, he didn’t follow.

* * *

 

Night fell a few hours later. Sometime after I’d returned to the camp, supper had been served. Gaelic tried unsuccessfully to get me to eat, but the smell just made my stomach turn uneasily and I glared at him until he took it away with the look of a kicked puppy. That was also when I retreated from the boisterous group of people sitting around the campfire to my tent where I curled up into a ball underneath the blanket of my bedroll and tried to fall asleep.

Sophi’s backpack lay in my arms like always and I hugged it tightly to my body. There was a lump in my chest that refused to go away and it made breathing difficult. Warm tears slid down my cheeks and nose as I lay on my side and did my best to stifle any noise that made its way out of my throat. The pillow became wet as I continued to weep heavily, sobs wracking my shoulders. I pulled the blanket up and over my head to hide my moment of weakness from the world.

I wasn’t sure how long I continued to lay there but after a while it eventually stopped on its own and I was able to calm myself down just slightly so that I wasn’t gasping for air after every sob. A sniff to clear my nose brought me out of my trancelike state and I suddenly couldn’t stand being in this claustrophobic space any longer. Gathering up her back pack in my arms, I stumbled out of my tent and into the light of a slowly dying fire. There was no one seated around it, so I assumed that everyone had already gone to bed. A flickering light inside the largest tent told me that The Iron Bull was yet still up and about. Since I had no desire whatsoever to run into him, I did my best to walk as quietly as I could do avoid making noise. Once I was near enough to the dying embers, I stopped dead in my tracks. There, sitting on a rock, glinting in the flickering light,

Was a knife.

It glinted sharply in the firelight, the blade glowing a dull orange against the black background of the night. I swallowed as I was slowly drawn towards it like a moth drawn to flame. My hand reached out, steady as can be, while the rest of my body shook like it was in an earthquake. Closing my fingers around the smooth, polished handle I picked it up. It was surprisingly lighter than I expected it would be, but then again its true burden, I suppose, lay in its purpose. Hypnotized by the shiny metal, I began to point it at my heart. Maybe I can cut out the parts that hurt and be done with them…

Heavy footsteps sounded from behind me, and I whipped around to point the dagger at the large horned being approaching me.

“I’m going to kill Gaelic for leaving his knives lying around…” he grumbled as he stopped in front of me. I sharpened my glare as I gripped the hilt with both hands so I could have a firm grip on it.

“Stay away from me.” I hissed through gritted teeth while I took a more solid stance to defend myself, “Why is it always _you_?” I continued as he took a step forward and I took one backwards to maintain distance between us.

“Night helps clear my head and allows me to get my thoughts in order. Plus, I don’t usually sleep well, old injuries tend to do that, especially in this cold, humid weather.” He answered honestly and I have to say I believed him, but that didn’t make me drop my guard, “So what do you plan to do with that now that you have it?”

“I told you, I want the pain to end, I don’t want to hurt anymore.” Was my growled response and I once again attempted to cut out the constant ache within my chest. The tip pierced my skin and for a single moment I felt better, until I was almost immediately disarmed. Sure enough, now it was in the hands of The Iron Bull. I launched myself at him in a frenzy to retrieve it, “You bastard! Give it back!” I cried as I pummeled him with my fists until he easily caught them in one of his own.

“Not when you’re not thinking clearly. Killing yourself isn’t the way to end your pain, and I’m sure your friend certainly wouldn’t want you to do that. You tarnish her memory acting the way you are. After all you’ve fought, you’re just going to give up?” he demanded and I looked up into the darkness where I imagined his face to be,

“What do I have to fight for? What purpose do I have to keep living?”

“You have her purpose! Now you need to live for her!” he lectured me before he suddenly glanced aside and pulled me behind his enormous bulk, “Keep quiet and stay behind me.” Bull ordered and for a moment I was confused before fire lit all around us and my broken heart beat faster than it had in days. Shadows emerged from the darkness, surrounding the camp.

“It would appear that our kinsmen weren’t lying after all. She does indeed have hair the colors of sapphires and emeralds.” A male voice spoke from the black until a body appeared in the light of the blazing fire. He wore a hood with pointed ear-like protrusions on the sides of his head, and a robe that covered him all the way to his feet. “Hand her over _Tal-Vashoth_ and we’ll leave you and your men alone. I’ll even sweeten the deal and pay you for all the trouble she’s caused you while she was in your care.” A small bag appeared in his hand that jingled with promise and my whole body began to shake with fear as I clutched Sophi’s bag to myself as tightly as I could. He wouldn’t, he couldn’t hand me back over— I glanced up in terror that he would sell me back to the people who I had no doubt were Tevinter slavers.

Bull looked back at me before pressing the knife back into my hand with a pleading stare as he turned back to the people surrounding us. I gripped the weapon tightly as I silently begged him not to accept their offer. With dread, I realized wouldn’t be able to take another lashing, and I had no doubt, they were eager to hand another one out.

“Or, I can just kill you and take your money anyways, _‘Vint_.” Bull stated as he drew the gigantic axe that I only just noticed was on his shoulder, “What do you say Chargers?” he yelled into the camp,

“Horns up!” was the resounding cry that went up from all around us as the camp suddenly burst into activity and everyone burst from their tents in full armor and weapons at the ready. I watched as Dalish cast a steadily glowing orb up into the sky that lit up everything around us like the sun during the day. Then with a wave of her staff, she extinguished the flames that circled the camp with a wall of ice. The Tevinter attackers were caught slightly off guard by the sudden appearance of battle ready warriors and the Chargers pressed this advantage as they drove back the ‘Vints. A blonde mess of hair made its way towards me, but only when he was close enough, did I recognize who it was, “Gaelic, you have Arryn. Make sure she doesn’t get hurt.” Ordered the horned giant, before he leapt into the fray with a bellow that echoed in the canyon.

“Get down!” ordered the blonde man who had replaced Bull at my side, as he pushed my head down to avoid a glowing orb that crashed through a tree and splintered the trunk into pieces. It creaked and started to fall towards us.

“Gaelic!” I screamed and grabbed his tunic to get his attention as he drew his bow to take aim at one of the ‘Vints. He loosed the arrow just in time to put his bow on his back, grab my hand and pull us both out of danger just as the tree crashed onto the burning embers of the fire. Sparks sprayed upwards and the wind from the tree pushed them into one of the fighting slavers and blinded him momentarily which gave his dwarf opponent the upper hand (pun not intended) and with a few quick strokes of a dagger, he dispatched the enemy.

“This way!” he commanded, grabbed my hand, pulled me up and dragged me towards the treeline. I made an effort to make sure that I wasn’t going to accidentally stab him with the dagger I was currently holding in my grip. My hair was steadily coming loose from the braid I’d put it in and pieces were flying into my face. Fear finally began to set in as I looked around at the pandemonium that was occurring around me. Weapons clanged and clashed together as bolts of energy exploded creating shockwaves of electricity and fire flared all around me lighting everything with flickering luminescence. As if everything wasn’t enough to deal with as it is, _magic_ was a thing here too. Great.

We had nearly made it to the treeline when a wall of flame blazed up in front of us, blocking our path. The sudden heat seared my skin and momentarily blinded me. With a cry I covered my eyes with the arm that Gaelic didn’t have in his grip as he came to a sudden halt which had me crashing into his back when I didn’t react quickly enough.

“Sorry _elf_ but we can’t have you making off with the merchandise. Now hand her over.” the familiar voice of the leader ordered, and I had just enough time to be confused and clear my eyes to see him walk through the wall of fire. The searing wind of the flames loosened my braid entirely and it flowed over my shoulder in a river of blue and green. I looked to my protector in front of me to see his blonde hair flying over his noticeably _not_ pointed ears.

“It appears that you have bigger problems than worrying about one girl.” Gaelic stated as he drew the dagger matching mine from his belt. A large shadow appeared behind the Tevinter leader that towered over him by a good couple feet. As the Iron Bull was illuminated by the orange light of the blaze, he hefted the two handed axe over his head in preparation for a strike that would no doubt cleave the one blocking our path in two. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to see it when my instincts started screaming to move my hand and move it _now._

Ripping my hand from Gaelic’s grasp I stumbled back a couple steps as I noticed a distortion pass between my hand and the one of the blonde I’d just released. Panicked I continued to back up as I dodged a swipe from the distortion and then a stab to my stomach. I still couldn’t see who or what was attacking me and my breathing came fast and shallow to keep my body moving and reacting as fast as I was able. The distortion was becoming slowly more noticeable as I fell backwards onto the ground.

“Arryn!” cried Gaelic as I went down but I didn’t have any time to pay him any attention, I was too busy doing my best to not die. Rolling to the side I heard a blade sink into the wet earth where I had been only a short moment ago. Once again on my back I glanced up to see a basic outline of a person,

“ _Fasta vass_ stay still you worthless slave!” hissed a female voice as a knife embedded itself in the sleeve of my tunic, pinning my left arm to the ground. She positioned herself above me and the second dagger made a beeline for my neck, feinting to the side, I barely managed to avoid it but still ended up having it slide alongside the skin where my neck connected to my shoulder. Instinct had me follow through with my right hand, and plunged the dagger up underneath her armor straight into her solar plexus and through her heart.

Dark eyes suddenly appeared right in front of my face wide with fear on an otherwise covered face. Her hair was pulled up in an elaborate hairdo that kept it out of her face for practicality. She gasped for words as a red stain started to spread on the cloth that covered her mouth as she gasped desperately for air.

“I’m not a slave...” I hissed through gritted teeth as I shoved the dagger in up to the hilt and she choked on what little air she still had in her lungs, “…that’s for Sophi.” I growled with every ounce of the hate swirling inside me, before I watched the life leave her eyes and she fell onto me. I cried out in pain when the hilt of the dagger dug into my stomach.

“Fenharel’s Teeth, Arryn! Arryn!” Gaelic panicked as I saw a shadow appear from above me and suddenly I could breathe again when the body smothering my lungs was thrown off, “By the Gods you’re bleeding! Stay with me, Stitches! You’re needed over here!” he yelled but I waved him off,

“No, it’s not mine…” flickering light bounced off the red liquid that dripped from my hand in thick stringy droplets. Horrified I brought my hand right in front of my face and smelled the coppery tang of what was unmistakably blood, “…it’s not mine…” my hand began to shake violently as I rolled to the side and was immediately sick.

I’d killed someone. I’d _killed_ someone.

Murderer.

I was a murderer.

I made the mistake of glancing up to see two blank eyes staring back at me. Eyes that would never close, eyes that would never move, eyes that would never see again. Because of me, all because of me.

 _What have you_ DONE _?_

A scream tore itself up through my throat as I scrambled backwards fear and panic having taken over my body completely. I think someone tried to comfort me but my mind was fully set on distancing myself from the murder scene as quickly as possible. The hands on my arms trying to get me to calm down only seemed like restraints holding me down against my will. Shadows appeared on all sides making me claustrophobic and causing me to panic even further. Darkness began to draw in from all sides of my vision and my movements started to become sluggish and uncoordinated. Voices sounded but I couldn’t understand them as hands pulled at the collar of my clothing. My breath continued to come in shallow gasps as I struggled to intake oxygen to my system. Slowly my eyes drifted shut as something stung against my cheek and urgent voices tried to make me stay awake, they failed.

* * *

 

“Come on Chief you saw what happened last night!” a familiar voice pleaded and I could only listen helplessly as I lay in the back of the cart loaded up with all the camp supplies. They must have stopped for a quick break because it wasn’t moving.

“Yes, and I saw what happened afterwards as well. It’s too dangerous, Gaelic.” The Iron Bull responded,

“We just need to give her some time and then she’ll be fine I’m sure of it. Especially since the death of Sophi has affected her so greatly, she needs something else to hang on to in her place.” He argued back and they got closer to where I was lying. I was admittedly curious about where the conversation was going, so I pretended to still be asleep.

“Eavesdropping on other people’s conversations isn’t exactly a good trait to have, Gaelic.” Growled the mercenary leader and I once again felt betrayed by the blonde man who always seemed to be by my side.

“Says the Ben Hassrath spy.” I felt my blood run cold. Bull was a _spy_??

“I never said it wasn’t useful, just that it is not a recommended course of action. Especially when it involves spying on _me_.”

“Well whatever, my point is, you need to give her something else to live for now, and this would be the best solution.” Gaelic persisted, “Aren’t you always looking for the outcasts, the misfits, the forgotten? Isn’t this the place you created for them to belong when no one else and nowhere else wants or cares about them? How can’t you see that right in front of you is someone who needs that comfort more than anyone I’ve ever seen in my life?” A groan was heard from the large Qunari man,

“We can’t afford to train up a new recruit from scratch.” Was his solemn reply and I felt my heart sink into my feet at his words and was immediately confused. Why did I feel sad about that? Shouldn’t I be happy? Shouldn’t I want them to leave me at a city where I would be out of danger and able to assume some semblance of a normal life? Why did it feel like I was losing my home all over again?

“Then let me train her. I’ll take her under my wing and assume full responsibility for her. You once said you were curious to see why Fate decided to let her live, so let us find out. We’ll never know if we leave her in Highever before we leave for Orlais.” Gaelic argued passionately and I felt some of the wounds in my heart slow their bleeding to a small trickle instead of a free flowing river.

“Alright Gaelic, you’ve made your point, but the choice is ultimately hers. If she refuses, I’m not going to force her no matter what you say. I’ll extend the offer to join the Chargers when she next wakes up.”

* * *

**Thank you for reading and leave me a comment with your thoughts if you'd like, I'd love to hear them!**


	7. Hymn for the Missing- As the Waves Come

**So here's the next chapter, I know it's a bit late since I'm trying to keep to updating once a week but sometimes it can be hard to find the time and inspiration to sit down and do so. Although never fear! I don't intend to drop this story any time soon!**

**I'm also going to be responded to the comments here as well since it's something I enjoy doing but I don't want my replies to add to the comment count. So in case any of you were wondering why, that's the reason.**

**N7Warden : I would say that I'm sorry for getting you so emotionally invested in the story but I'm really not and I'm super happy that you're enjoying it so much! I hope you continue to like where I take the story! Thanks for commenting!**

**Snolson : You don't think she's dead? Hmmmm an interesting observation indeed. I wonder about that~. Thanks for commenting!**

**FisuMisu: Your eyes are sweating??? I'm not sure that's a good thing you may want to have that checked out haha! I'm really glad you're enjoying the story so much and (I'm sure you've noticed) but I indeed did take your advice with the 'Modern Girl in Thedas' tag, thank you! Arryn is most definitely going to be a total badass, you have no idea the plans I have for her! Thanks for commenting!**

**Lastly, I still recommend you read the counterpart to this story of _Warriors: Sophi'Gealea_ if you're not already!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 

That night I sat on the edge of camp just behind the tree line and stared into the forest, aimlessly fiddling with the pin on Sophi’s backpack. Every once in a while I would reach for my necklace to also fiddle with it to be disappointed each time when my hand would come away empty. A plate of food sat beside me on the moss but I had touched hardly any of it. Currently I was doing my best to hide from both Gaelic and Iron Bull. They had been doing their best to corner me all day and had nearly gotten me when they’d got Krem involved but I’d managed to escape at the last minute when I claimed I’d had to relieve myself. After that I avoided everyone.

This is where I had been ever since. Dalish had found me after an hour or so to bring a plate of food and some water, and I made her swear that she would tell no one of where I was. So far she seemed to have kept that promise as I remained alone until this point. Plus I needed some time to think about what I’d done, how I’d killed that woman. My common sense told me that it had been in self-defence and I wasn’t really to blame, but another more primal part told me that I’d enjoyed taking her life in revenge of what had been done to me and Sophi at the hands of their kinsman.

The Chargers seemed to be in high spirits if the party that was going on around the fire was any indication. Although I was more than happy to sit it out. Partying wasn’t exactly on my to-do list especially after I’d just committed a heinous crime. I did notice, however, that Bull was not among the group around the fire. Just when I began to wonder where he might be, the sound of vegetation being crushed underfoot caught my attention.

“I know why you’re here, Bull.” I stated dramatically as I glanced up at the horned man as he towered over me. I could see him smirk in the faint light cast by the fire it the middle of the hastily made camp. They weren’t planning to stay more than a night since apparently there was a port city nearby where they would be boarding a ship and heading somewhere new.

“Do you now? And why’s that?” he posed and I brought my knees up to my chest as he sat down in front of me.

“I heard you talking to Gaelic earlier today.” He shifted awkwardly against the tree he was leaning against, “You’re right, eavesdropping is a great way to gain information. Sorry.” I admitted before I started to rebraid my hair distractedly and without much effort. It was more of an excuse to avoid eye contact with him.

“I see, and how much did you hear?”

“I’m not sure. Something about you being a spy for some Ben-person and Gaelic trying to convince you to let me become a member of your merc group.” I responded blandly like I was talking about the weather and not how I’d overheard a conversation that I wasn’t meant to hear.

“The Ben-Hassrath you mean? And you think that’s a single person?” he asked in an astounded manner, looking back up I could see another faint smirk on his face.

“How am I supposed to know? I’ve never even heard of them.” Was my indignant response.

“Makes sense considering you haven’t heard of the Qunari either. Although there seems to be quite a bit that you don’t know, where are you from exactly that you don’t know what a Qunari looks like, who the Tevinter slavers are, or that dragons exist?” he inquired seriously and my stomach dropped like a stone into my ankles.

“Like I said before,” I shifted awkwardly and hugged the backpack just a little tighter, “you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” I choked out. The pain of holding this burden all by myself on top of everything else, was truly beginning to weigh on me. It was only a matter of time before I broke beneath its weight.

“I’ve heard a lot of crazy shit in my life. Try me.” Bull challenged me and I stubbornly remained silent, even going so far as to bite my tongue to do so and shook my head in refusal.

“How do I know you won’t report my story to your boss’s, if you haven’t already that is?”

“Tell me, what do the Ben-Hassrath have to gain from a nearly starved girl who was captured by Tevinter slavers, and with no combat training whatsoever?”

“Fine, I see your point, but what do I gain from telling you anything about where I’m from?” was my next question and he answered almost immediately,

“I can’t trust you to join my company when you haven’t exactly been forthwith with about yourself.”

“Maybe I don’t want to join, maybe I want you to leave me in the nearest town and forget I ever existed.” I spat venomously as I started to pick wet grass from the ground and shred it between my fingers. A booming laugh caught my attention as I whipped my head up to glare at the mercenary leader who had a large grin on his scarred face,

“Hah, you’re a bad liar.” He chortled and I felt my face heat with indignation as I stared back at the loudly drinking group and watched as they continued to have a good time. My heart ached with a crushing loneliness as I started to make connections back to my friends I had back home. Unbidden tears leaked from my eyes as I rubbed my chest to try and alleviate the pain.

“Fine, what do you want to know?” I whispered hoarsely not trusting my voice to remain steady if I used it, “I still don’t think you’ll believe me but since you’ll know if I’m lying I might as well tell you the truth.”

“Why don’t we start off with where you’re from?” I scoffed and looked him dead in the eye,

“Canada.” Was my flat response and I could see the confusion clear as day on his face, even with heavy shadows obscuring most of it, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“Alright, where exactly is this _Can-ada_?” the word was obviously foreign to him and it sounded strange in his accent,

“On the continent of North America.” My statement clearly threw him for another loop but he managed to regain his bearings after only a moment. I had to admit, a dark part of me was devilishly enjoying this. He’d asked for it after all, quite literally in fact.

“And how did you get here?”

“There was an explosion in my house before I had a nasty trip through a green hell to land on the Storm Coast and try to find a way to survive off of skills I hadn’t used in years.” I answered just as bluntly and watched as he rubbed his forehead in a stressed manner while he tried to digest the information dump I had just given him, “Is any of this making you feel better yet?”

“This whole situation stinks of magic and demons and I hate both.” The Iron Bull growled as he rubbed all the way down his face to his chin where he rested his jaw.

“Seems to me like magic could be a catch-all explanation if you wanted it to. Or at least that’s an outsider’s opinion, there was no such thing as magic where I come from, or demons for that matter. All fiction made up to entertain the brainless masses.” I quipped cynically and crossed my arms over my chest. Glancing back up and me, Bull started to analyze me in a whole different light.

“You’re right, I don’t believe you, but I can also tell you’re not lying. Although it does explain your strange speech patterns, the way you sit, and that strange god you keep mentioning. Just to name a few.” Bull acknowledged and I felt my spine straighten with insult,

“Fuck you about my posture, you’re not my grandma!” I exclaimed before I could stop myself and watched as he burst into full bellied laughter, throwing his head back and there was a great crunch as he stopped laughing immediately. That’s when I noticed that the tips of his horns were stuck firmly in the wood of the tree. He grunted once as he tried to free them only to fail spectacularly. A smile tugged at the corner of my lips and I struggled to keep it hidden, but when he failed a second time to yank them free, I couldn’t hold it in. for the first time in what felt like an eternity I began to laugh from the depths of my stomach.

The situation was so ridiculous and so unexpected that I couldn’t contain myself and with all the stress I’d been having for the past while, it all bubbled over at once making the situation seem that much more hilarious. I wrapped my arms around my middle and fell to the side as I tried to contain myself only to fail miserably. Tears began to leak from my eyes as my stomach started to cramp up while I lay on the forest floor writhing in agony from the exertion being placed on my body. It subsided after a while until I looked back to Bull and found him with the most out of place expression on his face that I could possibly imagine.

He was pouting.

And the giggles began anew all over again. He grunted with annoyance and avoided eye contact with me. There were still a few wood splinters speared on the tips of his horns that continued to set me off into small spurts of laughter and after a minute or two, I swore I saw a small smirk on his face as well. Once my fits subsided I no longer had the energy to sit back up but I was still content to lay on the ground. For once I felt like I’d spent my energy on something worthwhile, for the first time in forever, I felt happy again.

A stab of guilt lanced through me when I remembered Sophi but I shoved it back down when I admitted that she would want me to be happy.

“You were right, by the way.” I admitted as I continued to lay in the underbrush, “I was tarnishing her memory by acting the way I was. She wouldn’t have wanted me to do any of that, she would want me to be happy and live to the fullest that I could.” I hugged her backpack as tightly as I could while tears formed in my eyes and trailed down my cheeks. My chest still hurt thinking about her but now it had dulled down to a constant ache rather than a stabbing pain.

“Good, glad I could help. Losing someone you care about can be difficult.” He responded and I still refused to move from where I lay despite the fact that I practically had my butt in his face, “So what do you plan to do now?” I rolled onto my back and stared up at the sky,

“I don’t know.” I said solemnly as I pushed myself back into a sitting position now that the conversation had taken a more serious turn. Bull was staring at me intently, analysing my every move and twitch, “The obvious answer should be that I try to make a life for myself similar to the one I had back home, but…” I trailed off as I glanced back to the group laughing and drinking around the campfire. There were no tents tonight since we’d be packing up camp again in the morning so it was just a circle of bedrolls situated around the fire. My chest started to ache again when I started to see some of my friends back home in the place of the Chargers. I had to look away when I saw Sophi in the blonde haired idiot. I took a moment to make sure my voice wouldn’t waver before I continued, “… I don’t think I could. Everything is so different here, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. It would be easier if Sophi were here, she was always better at these sorts of things, but with her gone… I just don’t know what to do anymore.” I buried my face in the soft leather of her bag and did my best to will the pain away and stop the wounds in my heart from reopening. I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the tears from falling.

“Well there could be a place for you here in the Chargers. Gaelic has offered to train you as a rogue, but you also need someone to teach you about everything else if you’re going to be independent in any way.” he rubbed his forehead in a stressed manner once again,

“Would you teach me?” I blurted before I could stop myself and immediately wished I hadn’t asked. Obviously he would ask one of the other Chargers to do such a menial task. Krem would be the obvious choice since it seemed that everyone else (who talked) seemed to be of a different race and would therefore likely be biased against certain topics. Although considering I was asking a _Qunari_ to be my instructor, I suppose I was being slightly hypocritical, but something made me feel like I could trust him to give me the solid facts about this world without any prejudice towards others. I’m not quite sure what it was that made me feel this way, but whatever the reason, I firmly believed in this feeling.

“You want me to teach you? Wouldn’t Krem be a better choice for that?” he rubbed his neck awkwardly and avoided eye contact with me. I gripped my knees tightly, nervous that he would refuse.

“No, I don’t trust Krem or anyone else to instruct me without putting in favoritism against anything or anyone.” I insisted and waited with bated breath I waited for Bull to get his thoughts together before he spoke again with a pleading look on his face,

“I can’t guarantee I would be a good teacher, or that I wouldn’t put any bias on the information either.” I did my best to wrack my brain for anything I could use to convince him to change his mind,

“I can tell you about my world if you agree to teach me.” I bargained with him and I saw the gears start to turn in his head when the possibility of learning something about my home was set on the table. There were a few moments of silence where he turned the ideas around in his head. A large grey hand stoked his chin as he was deep in thought, I licked my lips anxiously and directed my gaze downwards to the ground.

“Alright, you got yourself a deal.” Bull stated and held out his right hand. Feeling lighter than I had in weeks, I reached up with my same hand and firmly shook to solidify the agreement. Then in the same movement, he got up and similarly pulled me to my feet, “Well, now that that’s settled we need to head back to camp. We have a party to celebrate now.” Iron Bull clapped me on the back and I hissed with pain, the scars were still slightly tender, but truth be told, the hit still would have hurt even if I hadn’t been previously injured, “Oh shit, sorry, I forgot.” A nervous laugh bubbled up from his throat as I did my best to rub my sore back without stretching the scars too badly.

“It’s okay.” I mumbled as I followed him to the glowing circle of light that was the campfire, “What are you celebrating?”

“ _We_ are celebrating your addition to the Bull’s Chargers of course.” The horned man replied as we stepped into the glow of the fire, “Chargers break open the casks, tonight we celebrate a new addition to the group!” I felt his hand on my back once again and I watched as every pair of eyes turned to me. I could see the disapproval in most of the faces around me and I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed and rejected. Every one of these people knew I couldn’t hold my own in a fight and no doubt were wondering why their leader had made the decision to add a defenseless girl like me into their highly skilled group. I was sure that the only reason they didn’t speak up, was out of respect for their leader.

The silence remained until I heard a cheer go up from one of them and I recognized the voice as Gaelic. Soon after, everyone else raised their mugs with a shout and the camp became loud with activity once again. A hand pushed me forwards into the group where someone else shoved a drink in my hand while others put their arms around my shoulders. Shortly afterwards a drunken song started up,

“No man can beat the Chargers, ‘cause we’ll hit you where it hurts. Unless you know a tavern with loose cards and looser skirts! For every bloody battlefield, we’ll gladly raise a cup. No matter what tomorrow holds, our horns be pointing up!” a round of laughter went up after the song was finished and for the first time since I’d gotten here, I let all my worries go and felt the happiest I’d been in a long, long time.

* * *

 

The next morning I sat on the log that I’d woken up on and nibbled on a piece of bacon hoping my upset stomach wouldn’t reject it. It had been giving my trouble all morning and I hoped that I wouldn’t end up throwing it all up into a bush along the way to Highlevel, or Highriver or wherever it was we were supposed to be going. Sophi’s bag was right beside me, leaning on my leg, I didn’t trust to have it in my lap in case that I needed to empty the contents of my stomach.

Compared to all the other times I’d witnessed the Chargers in the morning, I noticed that they were quite sluggish and lethargic as compared to the usual. They were in fact only a couple who weren’t affected by the previous night’s activities. Krem was the main organizer in making sure that the camp was being put back together at a reasonable pace. Stitches had been in charge of cooking the food that morning and making sure that no one was overly hungover (I was one of the most severe cases since I typically don’t drink such large quantities regularly). Lastly was The Iron Bull, it took me a couple minutes to locate him but I finally spotted him with a group of people who were dressed in armor and all of them were armed with bows. It looked like our (it still felt weird to think that) leader was doing some sort of trade with them. There was a stack of furs over his shoulder and the others carried wrapped bundles under their arms or on their backs if they didn’t have a bow. From where I was sitting I couldn’t get any details on their faces, but a few had their hair pulled back to reveal pointed ears.

I stared in wonder, doing my best to be discreet but I don’t think I did a well enough job hiding my intentions because I drew the gaze of two of the men. They turned to watch me closely and whispered quietly to each other all while never taking their eyes off me. After a moment or two, I looked away entirely and instead focused on finding a drink of water to help with my sickness.

“You stare like you have never seen a Dalish clan before.” Noted Gaelic as he drank deeply from a canteen. A memory sparked in my mind when he tilted his head back and his hair fell to reveal a hint of his ears.

“Hey Gaelic, I have a question for you.” I began hesitantly and waited for him to finish drinking before he turned to me with his full attention and nodded his assent, “When we were fighting the group of ‘Vints not long ago, the one guy called you an elf, but you aren’t an elf, right?” he froze and the blood ran from his face. Dread took over his features as he tore his gaze from mine and I suddenly felt like I’d made a huge mistake, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“I know, they’re just… very painful memories…” he sighed heavily and put his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. I waited patiently for him to regain his bearings in the hopes that he would answer my question this time around. There were a couple minutes of silence before he finally spoke again, “To answer your question, yes I am an elf, but the full story should wait for another time. It’s not exactly… pleasant and I don’t feel up to telling it right now.” The blonde man spoke solemnly to the ground before he pushed his weight up and walked off to the other side of camp. A lead weight in my stomach told me I’d been too forward with my asking and had brought back horrible memories he’d rather left forgotten. I grabbed Sophi’s bag and clutched it tight to my body as the persistent ache once again started up in my chest.

Not long after that, Bull finished with the elves that had stopped by and joined us back at the camp which, at this point, was mostly packed up with the exception of only a few personal items and weapons. Seeing no point to dally any longer, he gave the order to move out and we did so. Now that my legs had almost completely healed, I was able to walk on my own and keep up with the company, usually Gaelic would walk with me, but this time he chose the opposite end of the caravan. Not that I could blame him, I would likely do the same if someone brought up my time with the Tevinter slavers and the loss of Sophi.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, my sickness began to fade away and after we ate the midday meal on the road, it was gone completely. It would appear others were not quite so lucky and there was more than once where one of the Chargers would disappear into the treeline for a moment before they caught back up with us on the road a minute or two later. Other than that, the trip itself was quite boring and uneventful, but that didn’t stop me from making sure the dagger I’d been given was readily available at all times. I always did believe it was better to be safe than sorry, and I’d already been sorry once, those Tevinter bastards wouldn’t get that satisfaction ever again.

Sometime in the afternoon, the port city of Highever (I’d asked Iron Bull where we were going sometime during the trip), became visible over the crest of the hill. I have to admit it was quite impressive as far as cities go. Or at least it was considering where I was, it couldn’t hold a candle to cities back home.

There were stone walls surrounding the large settlement that was filled with houses of all shapes and sizes made with anything from wood, to stone. Smoke rose from several homes as well as many larger buildings that I assumed were some sort of mill or smithy. The city stretched all along the coast and it was very obvious to see what their main industry was because the docks were almost innumerable and extended so far into the water, that ships would easily fit in between gridded patterns the docks made up.

As it was the docks were relatively full of ships and boats of all shapes, sizes and colors. There was everything from rinky dink fishing boats to ornate ships gilded with gold and a blue so rich there was no way that it didn’t belong to someone with an absurd amount of money even by my world’s standards.

Further into the city there looked to be more walls that divided it up into different sections depending on wealth. The section closest to the docks and the coast were the homes that looked like they belonged to the low and middle class. Further in, the homes got exponentially more extravagant and almost every single one had at least a small garden that was easy to spot even from my distant perspective. Even further away sat the largest house of them all by a landslide, the word ‘house’ didn’t even do it justice. The only way you could describe this building was ‘castle’.

It was situated on a cliffside that overlooked the entire town. The stone glistened in the sunlight with a dark blue shimmer on the towers that stretched high above the ground. It had a slight gothic appearance with numerous tall spires with extremely pointed black rooves. There was a large stained glass window facing the water that appeared to be a blue raindrop with two spears crossed in an ‘X’ formation over top. What it symbolized I could only guess, but it was beautiful nonetheless. Perhaps it was the symbol of the royal family that lived here?

I wasn’t given much time after that to ogle as I was gently pushed from behind to get a move on. Looking back I was able to see that it was the dwarf of the group. He had a very rough appearance underneath the hood he was always wearing. His eyes were an icy blue although they sparkled like freshly fallen snow and barely concealed mischief, rather than an icicle that conspired to spear you through the throat. They were set under a heavy brow and on either side of a very strong nose, underneath which there was a very well-groomed and thick brown moustache that was curled ever so slightly in a grin. Several deep scars adorned his face, one ran across his nose, two intersected on his right cheek, and a fourth ran from his chin all the way underneath his hood to, I suspected, his ear.

“Going to stand there all day? Or do you want to actually _go_ to the town?” he asked in a rough, but teasing voice and I was caught off guard for a moment before I managed to pull myself back together and started walking again, “So do I dare ask what happened between you and Gaelic that’s caused him to avoid you this whole time? Usually you can barely get the little shit off you.” He asked and I squeezed the backpack in my arms in my discomfort,

“I brought back some not so pleasant memories for him.”

“Ah, you asked him about his ears.” I whipped my head around to stare, flabbergasted at the dwarf now walking beside me. He only stared straight ahead and refused to meet my gaze.

“I—uh—how…?” I stuttered, caught off guard completely.

“How did I know?” he looked back up at me with a small knowing smirk on his face, “S’cause it’s the only thing that could possibly ruffle the kid’s feathers that much.” Suddenly I found a thick finger pointed directly at my nose and my eyes crossed when I tried to concentrate on it, “But don’t you dare go bothering him about it. Obviously he hasn’t told you what happened and I assure you it’s not pleasant. It would be like someone bothering you about the loss of your friend, understand?” he pressed and I furrowed my brow, insulted.

“I would never!” I responded heatedly and he grinned in response apparently satisfied with my response.

“Good, I’m glad to hear it. Now, what do you know about explosives?” he asked excitedly and pulled out a leather bag tied with a drawstring.

“Not much I suppose…”

“That’s a shame, would you like to learn?” the proposal came unexpectedly and for a moment I was stumped as to what to say.

“I guess…? Sure, why not.” I settled on after thinking. If I was going to be here a while, I suppose I may as well take advantage of as many opportunities as I could. Anything to get better and hinder the ‘Vints in their goals.

“Excellent, so the basic function is a powder…”

* * *

 

The dwarf who I’d later come to know as Rocky, instructed me on the finer details of explosives until we arrived in the bustling town of Highever. We had gotten momentarily stopped at the gates by some guards who wished to know our business in town before he waved us through. It didn’t escape my notice that they eyed Iron Bull warily and gripped their weapons a little tighter. No doubt they were afraid and I gave them all scathing glares. It wasn’t until that they saw my hair that they dropped their suspicious gazes and stared openly with mouths hanging open like dogs. After that I pulled up the hood of my cloak. The last thing I wanted in this busy city was to stand out.

The streets were made of cobblestone and were fairly well kept since it was a main thoroughfare but I highly doubted that the side and lesser used streets were as clean. Almost everyone stopped to stare at the leader of the company, some with awe, some with fear, and some with a mix of both.

At one point there was a chorus of high pitched voices all screaming “BULL!” before a hoard of children burst from an alley way and jumped onto the large Qunari man anywhere they could, “We got you!” they cried and Bull dramatically fell to the ground on his back and I could only hope that his horns wouldn’t get stuck in the ground again.

“Such vicious little _imekari_. I have been utterly defeated!” he proclaimed as he lay flat on his back with multiple children climbing all over him giggling gleefully. The Chargers stopped and crowded around their - _our_ \- fallen leader to try and catch a glimpse of the horned giant humoring children who thought they had defeated him. A round of laughter went up from the company and some of the adults watching on the sidelines seemed to relax slightly.

“Oh dear, our fearless leader has fallen, whatever are we going to do now?” Krem lamented sarcastically and another round of laughter went up from the company as well as the children. A couple of the children jumped off the Qunari and ran to the Lieutenant to cling to his legs instead.

“We can lead you!” the two, a boy and a girl, clinging to Krem proclaimed excitedly as they pulled on his pant legs.

“I’m sure you could.” He chuckled in response as parents started to call to their children and one by one they jumped off the large grey skinned creature and let go of the second in command and waving happily, returned to the arms of their parents. Bull continued to lie on the ground for a moment or two before he pulled his enormous bulk up and dusted himself off before addressing all of us.

“Alright Chargers, move out.” Was the order as he tried to regain his dignity somewhat and everyone only laughed as we continued onwards to our destination. Soon enough we made it to where we would be staying for the night. It was titled the _Red Raven Inn and Tavern_ and after grabbing some personal items from the cart, everyone followed The Iron Bull inside.

The inside was lit by chandeliers on the ceiling and a large fireplace roaring in the corner. It had a very homey feel with a wooden interior and the heads of several large animals were displayed on the walls like trophies. A dozen or so round tables were situated throughout the room and several stools positioned all along the bar. I spotted _our_ leader conversing with the barman, I assumed he was also the owner of the establishment, so it was likely Bull was negotiating our stay here for the next night or two. Other than us, there were several other groups all sitting around various tables in the room.

“Hey you, no hoods allowed in here!” called a gruff voice and I was wrenched from my musings as I searched for the voice only to be drawn to the barkeep and our leader who were both looking at me. The horned mercenary turned back to the older man and tried to convince him otherwise but the owner remained firm and resolutely he turned back to me and motioned for me to obey. Nervously, I reached up and pulled down my hood.

Like I expected, all activity ceased when I revealed my vibrant blue and green hair. Silence fell over the room like a heavy blanket and I could slowly feel myself starting to suffocate. Thankfully I felt a hand on my arm and I saw the other dark haired elf glaring at the whole room but softened her face ever so slightly when she met my gaze. Firmly but not unkindly, the woman directed me to a table that some of the others had already claimed for their own.

Slowly activity started back up again and soon everyone seemed to forget about me again. The Chargers started up their own conversations and not long after our leader stopped by with two handfuls of drinks for everyone present. There was more celebrating of my joining but this time I refused most of the drinks that were pushed my way. I had no desire to wake up with a hangover again tomorrow.

* * *

 

Sometime later after the sun had been down for a long time, Dalish picked up that my energy was fading fast and I needed to sleep soon. Not that it was a difficult to see, I was practically falling asleep on the table I was so tired. Therefore, she helped me up and directed both me and the other elf upstairs to where our shared room was located.

I think that there were several beds in the room but when my head hit the pillow of the one I’d been given, I was asleep almost instantly.

* * *

**So there you have it! Please leave me with your thoughts if you would like, I'd love to hear them, and as always if something needs fixing please do not hesitate to tell me so I can change it!!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	8. Hymn for the Missing- Let 'Em Take Us as They Cover You and Me

**I'm sorry for the late update but I've done my best to make the chapter longer than the rest as a reward!**

**MaryTheMango** **: I'm glad you like the idea of her having brightly colored hair! It was something I was a little iffy about so I'm glad it's being received well. Unfortunately, the change will not be permanent and she will grow out a 'natural' color eventually. Although I am trying to find a way to make sure that it stays vibrant for longer. Thanks for commenting!**

**N7Warden: I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story so much! It really means a lot to hear that, especially on areas that I feel insecure about (such as the subject as her hair). I really hope you continue to enjoy the story as it progresses! Oh Gaelic, I almost feel bad for him but then I think about the effect he'll have on the story and I feel better about it. Thanks for commenting!**

**SleepiPandi : Yes, that is definitely something that I want to include, but while it doesn't get an appearance in this chapter, it will definitely be in future chapters. I promise. Thanks for commenting!**

**Spellweaver:** **On the contrary, she does't have enough regrowth yet for them to be really noticeable. I'm having it so her hair doesn't grow exceptionally fast and she has also been pretty malnourished for a significant amount of time, both before she met the Chargers and after they found Sophi's body. Thank you for reminding me about that though, because despite the fact that I frequently dye my hair crazy colors, that was a detail that slipped my notice. Thanks for commenting!**

**Alright so here's the next chapter and I'm sorry to say that there isn't much Bull in this one but I hope you all like it nonetheless as a new character makes his appearance! Please let me know if I've kept him in character or not, I never played that game (and while I have done research on him) I'm not sure how well I've captured his character. So feel free to correct me if I've messed up badly!**

* * *

 

“Here, you’ll need this.” Quipped Bull as he tossed a small leather bag at me. Thankfully I reacted in time to catch it and as it hit my hands, the sound of coins clinking together caught my attention, “I think it’s only fair we make the ‘Vint’s pay for everything you’ll need.” The one eyed man grinned lopsidedly and I glanced back down to the small bag in the palm of my hand. I gripped it tightly enough to leave welts in my skin. The last thing I wanted to do was touch this filthy money tainted with their touch. The very thought that this once resided in one of their possession disgusted me to the point of nausea. Dalish must have picked up on that as she plucked the purse from my grip.

“I will take that.” She said delicately as the elf stashed it within her own bag where it would be safe from being lost and my becoming sick over it. It was the morning after our stay in the Inn and there were a few things to gather before we would be heading out to get on the boat to wherever it was we were going next. Apparently they wanted me to get some new clothes and weapons to defend myself with. Although considering I was going to be training to learn how to use said weapons with deadly precision, it only made sense. I also assumed that some form of armor was going to be purchased to protect my body as well. “Shall we be on our way then?” Dalish asked kindly, in her strangely accented voice that I still had to become accustomed to. Hiking Sophi’s backpack over my shoulder, I nodded before pulling up the hood of my cloak and following her outside. I turned to wave at the mercenary leader just in time to watch the door close but not before he was able to quickly return it.

“So where are we going first?” I asked, unable to contain my curiosity. Shopping, after all, was one of my few guilty, girly pleasures that I allowed myself. Most of my friends back home had usually balked at the idea of spending the day inside a mall and spending money on clothes, jewelry or other such knickknacks that I would buy on impulse and then forget about almost immediately after I got home. A lump formed in my throat at the memories that came unbidden into my mind and I gripped the strap of the backpack tightly.

“Acquiring some fresh garments for you would be best since you still haven’t changed out of the bloodstained tunic from the attack on our camp.” She answered politely and I self consciously gripped the blood stain that had crusted the front of my outfit. Yeah… that would probably be the best start…

“I suppose that makes sense.” Was my monotonous response as I looked around at all the shops and the bustling crowd that made the city as prosperous as it was. The stalls lining either side of the busy road hocked all sorts goods, anything from fish to the most colorful fabrics I’d ever seen in my life. The materialistic side of me begged me to go have a closer look, but the rational side of me was saying that I couldn’t afford to have such flimsy and useless fabric on my body. Unfortunately, Dalish noticed me staring longingly at the beautiful cloth and with a small smile, she directed me towards a shop inside one of the stone buildings. The sign above it read _Higher Tailoring_ and I followed the tattooed elf inside.

The interior wasn’t lavishly decorated like I anticipated a tailoring shop would be, but it was elegant nonetheless. There were deep forest green curtains that draped across the window facing into the street, with matching plush armchairs and a fireplace that was unlit for now but I had no doubt that later it would be ignited to warm and light the place. The floors were a dark wood that was polished so it practically shone and to keep their pristine appearance, heavy rugs decorated the floors where people were intended to walk. Sconces with flickering candles lit the walls every few feet and all around. Doors, which I assume led to fitting rooms, dotted the wooden walls in a semi-circle in the back with a pedestal surrounded by mirrors centered at the very back. There was a staircase that led upwards but with the door closed at the top, I was unable to be certain where it led, but I assumed it went to the living quarters of the owner. In the center of the foyer was a desk and behind the desk sat a woman.

She had her thick, wavy black hair pushed out of her face with a red bandana. She was heavily focused on writing something down and only looked up when we had already approached the desk. First the woman glanced to the elf with eyes to match her hair perfectly and that was when I also noticed she had a tattoo in black ink of a vine-like pattern travelling up the right side of her neck. Her perfect rosebud lips curved up in a smile that lit up her bronze skin like she was the sun.

“Welcome friends,” she greeted us with a rich, seductive voice and a thick, lilting accent that I couldn’t place but a part of me wanted to place it as Italian or Spanish, “what can I do for you today?” she stood and I noticed she was wearing a dress made of the same red that made up the bandana with a black sash tied tightly around her waist which accented her perfect hourglass figure.

“We need some new tunics and breeches as well as underthings for our newest member here. She is in dire need of something to wear that isn’t covered in blood.” Dalish gestured to me and the woman glanced my way. at this point I figured it would be rude to keep my hood up and with a nervous breath I lowered it. The woman’s eyes widened into saucers and she gasped, pulling a hand to her chest in shock.

“By Andraste’s burning underdrawers!” the woman exclaimed as she stepped around the table, “Your hair is simply stunning, how in the Maker’s name did you achieve this?” she asked as she plucked a strand from my shoulder and felt it between her fingers. Decidedly uncomfortable I licked my lips,

“I dyed it.” Was my answer and I had to admit, I was getting really tired with this reaction. She glanced up at me with disbelief in her dark eyes, which up close now, I could tell were in fact a deep rich shade of blue so dark they appeared black from a distance.

“They must have been extraordinary dyes, but enough of that, you say you need clothes?” the woman changed the subject as she took out a measuring tape from her pocket and without any hesitation, threw aside my cloak and began to take measurements of my body, “Hmm, yes I do believe I can help you with that, call me Adora. Step back here my dear and we shall get started.”

For the next hour, I was poked and prodded with various pins and needles before being shoved into garment after garment. Supposedly they all fit differently but it all felt the same to me, but I was pleased to note that they were of a variety of colors rather than just the plain brown I’d been given. Of course they weren’t nearly as vibrant as my hair, which Adora noted many times during my fitting. I had to assure her that the lack of hue wasn’t something that bothered me as long as I would get out of my ruined, bloodstained tunic that I was currently wearing.

Turns out she was in fact a very bubbly woman and she chattered the whole time I was being measured, adjusted and then measured again. It wasn’t annoying like I thought it would be since she mostly just told stories. Despite the fact I didn’t understand many of the references or nuances of her speech, I found myself laughing along with her when the punchline came along. Dalish too chuckled at some of the jokes and stories but otherwise she was quite reserved, only speaking up when she needed to answer a question that I was unable to.

After Adora declared that she was finished with all the measurements that she needed, she bid us to wait for her to alter a garment that would immediately replace the dirty one I was wearing. Placing drinks in each of our hands, she ushered us over to the sitting area by the window where Dalish and I sat while she disappeared upstairs to work. I stared at the liquid swirling in my cup and was about to take a sip until a pale hand appeared over the rim. Glancing back up at Dalish I saw her looking at me with a guarded expression and I watched as she reached into a pouch and pulled out a small leather bag. Opening it, she reached inside and pulled out a pinch of some sort of powder and sprinkled it into her drink and then mine.

“This is a powder I created to test for poison, you can never be too careful and we didn’t see where she procured the drink.” She explained quietly and with horror, I watched and waited to see if anything would happen to my refreshment, “If it turns the color of blood, then it’s contaminated, if nothing happens, it’s safe.” There were a few extremely tense moments of silence while I awaited her verdict, “It’s safe, you may drink.” Was the announcement after she checked both of our cups, I heaved a sigh of relief as I brought the liquid to my lips. I was pleasantly surprised to find it was some form of berry wine and I found myself to be enjoying it immensely.

“How did you learn to do that?” I asked unable to contain my curiosity and she smiled sadly as she avoided my gaze and looked out the window, observing the thick masses of people passing by.

“It was a long time ago now, but we had just recruited a few new members to The Chargers’ ranks and we were celebrating in a tavern and a round of drinks came to the table. We hadn’t ordered them, and the Chief was immediately suspicious. He tried to question the waitress but she insisted that they were on the house and the rest of us were too distracted to stop the rookies from taking some of the fresh beverages.” She paused solemnly and I bit my lip nervously as I slouched in my chair. I knew just the wrong questions to ask these days it seems, I clutched Sophi’s bag a little tighter to myself when she finished her story, “The drinks were poisoned. We lost three of the new recruits that night. The Chief lost it that night and by the time he was done, the tavern had burned to the ground. I took it upon myself to never see our leader that way again and immediately started work on a way to detect poison. After many hours of labor, I successfully created this.” She held up the small bag for me to see before she placed it safely back in her pocket where it belonged.

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be, it was long ago and those that were responsible paid the price. That is what matters.”

I nodded in response and directed my gaze out the window. Clouds passed over the sun and had darkened the sky slightly casting everything in half-light and lightening the shadows over the buildings and alleyways considerably. People continued to pass by en mass going about their daily tasks. Carts pulled by people and horses alike rumbled down the beaten cobblestone road while the drivers called harsh warnings to those who refused to get out of the way in time. Occasionally, I took a sip of the drink in my hand and contented myself in enjoying watching the passerby. There were people of all sorts, everywhere from regular people to even the shortest dwarf making his way through the throngs of people. As I was about to take another drink, however, I noticed one figure on the opposite side of the road who was stationary.

They wore a dark cloak with a deep hood to hide their face and they stood facing directly into the window where Dalish and I sat. it was at that moment, that I felt the hairs on the back of my neck rise and the sensation of being watched escalated to new heights. I opened my mouth to alert the elf currently accompanying me only to be interrupted by Adora,

“There all finished, come my dear, put this on and let us DeTroy that unfortunate, ill fitting rag.” She exclaimed proudly as she sauntered back down the steps with a piece of light blue fabric draped over her arm. I whipped my head back around to try and find the mysterious figure again only to be met with the busy street and the absence of any such hooded strangers. This time the white haired elf noticed my distress,

“What is it?” she asked with an edge to her deep, musical voice.

“Nothing, I thought I saw something, but I guess I was wrong.” I reassured her before making my way to the woman gesturing for me to take a fitting room.

* * *

 

Changed I admired the way that the tunic perfectly fit my body as Dalish and I strode down the street in search of an armorer to outfit me with protection in the battles I would no doubt have to face in the future. The seamstress had bid us to return tomorrow for the rest of the clothes and promised they would fit even better than the one I currently wore since this was altered to fit my body rather than being made specifically _for_ my body. More than anything I was just happy to be in clean clothes again, especially clean underwear. Don’t ask how I’d survived until this point; I’d rather not say.

The feeling of being watched persisted as I accompanied Dalish and I longed to take my hood down to get a better look at my surroundings, but I didn’t want to stand out anymore than necessary. My blue and green hair was exceptionally good at accomplishing that. As such, I kept it up, and gripped the dagger I always had on my person nowadays tightly. We stopped at many of the stalls lining the road as we searched for the appropriate shop.

My elf companion pointed out and explained many of the different herbs and what their intended purpose was. I was surprise to find that there were actually several that were used for the purpose of contraception, but then again I suppose it was to be expected. There would always be people who didn’t want children for one reason or another, whether or not they were having sex just for fun.

A breeze caught the back of my neck and I whipped my head around only to find that there was nothing out of the ordinary. People walked the streets minding their own business and the strange hooded figure was no where to be seen, in fact I hadn’t seen them since the shop and I was beginning to think that I was just being paranoid about their appearance. With one more wary glance at the street, I turned back to Dalish who gestured for me to follow her away from the stall. Hiking Sophi’s bag further over my shoulder, I trailed closely behind her as we continued to navigate the rapidly thickening crowds.

At one point it got so thick that Dalish and I had to walk single file with her in the lead. It was at this point I found my instincts screaming and heard alarm bells clanging loudly in my head. Unfortunately, I wasn’t fast enough to react to avoid the arm that went around my waist pinning my arms to my sides and then the blade placed underneath my chin to prevent me from alerting my companion. Then I was dragged into an alleyway just off to the side. My heart beat frantically as I did my best to resist, but the angle at which my attacker pulled me unbalanced me and prevented me from getting a solid hold on anything that would help. I refused to let that stop me from doing my best to impede whoever this was, so I did my best to SING.

Freeing one arm I managed to wind up and aim my elbow straight for his solar plexus. He dodged giving me some extra room to move when the knife disappeared from my throat.

Next I went for his foot and did my best to dig my heel into his instep. There was armor there that only made my own foot hurt but it also threw him off balance enough for me to throw off his other arm completely.

After I was free, I aimed for his nose (or where I assumed it would be he too was wearing a hood) and ended up missing but a satisfying slap told me I’d at least hit him in the face somewhere.

Lastly, I brought back my right foot and with all my strength wound up a shot directly at his groin.

Solar plexus.

Instep.

Nose.

Groin.

S.I.N.G.

Movies were an amazing thing and I missed them already.

When I felt resistance on my foot I realized he’d put protection down there which stopped me from incapacitating him entirely but I took advantage of his momentary vulnerability and ran. My hood fell from my vibrant hair as I sprinted back down the way we came and breathed deeply to scream for Dalish only to be tackled from behind and have the wind knocked out of me. I went down hard with my limbs splayed in every which direction as another body landed on top of me and the knife appeared once more at my throat.

“You have my sincere apologies; this isn’t usually how I like to go down on women, but these are different circumstances. I’m sure you understand, yes?” a thickly accented voice quipped almost humorously from behind my ear. At any other time, I would have laughed at the innuendo but in this case I was more focused on doing my best to throw him off without tearing my windpipe open on his blade.

“Get the hell off me!” I wheezed underneath his weight and pushed against him hoping that I would be able to dislodge his body from mine. It had the opposite effect unfortunately and he only seemed to settle his weight onto me even more heavily than before.

“Are you going to run away again?”

“No.” I lied after a beat of thought.

“Unfortunately, I don’t believe you. So here we will sit until you change your mind.” I growled in response to him and continued to push upwards with all my strength. Adrenaline leant me power and after a second or two of pushing I was able to lift myself and him off the ground. Since he wouldn’t _let_ me up, I was going to have to go for Plan B, _force_ my way up.

Switching my weight to my elbow, I quickly reached down into my belt and pulled out my dagger. Flipping it around in my grip I blindly stabbed over my shoulder where I’d heard his voice and there was a cry of surprise before he rolled to the side to avoid my blade. For a second I could breathe freely again when his knife disappeared from my neck until he gripped my shoulders and pulled me along with him in his roll. I stared at the sky as I felt our positions reversed and I now felt him underneath me. Snarling I went for another stab but he caught my wrist this time and I knew I’d missed when there had been no cry of pain or squishy feeling as my blade sank into his flesh. I did the same when I noticed his own dagger start making its way back to my neck.

“You know; you’re making this harder than it has to be.”

“Sorry, I’ve already been kidnapped once, I’d rather it not happen again you asshole.”

“Such strong language from a lady!” he exclaimed and I could hear the smirk in his voice. I only put more effort into trying to sink my knife into his eye (not that I could see where I was aiming but I hoped that’s where I would hit).

“Fuck you!” was my only response and a chuckle rumbled through his chest,

“Only if you’re offering.” He purred in his sultry accented voice and I felt a chill run up my spine. I now had a sudden desire to break all contact with the person beneath me that I was suddenly very aware was _male_. In a hastily (and foolishly) thought up plan, I used his own strength against him and directed his knife towards himself instead of towards me like he wanted. The action caught him off guard and using it as a momentary distraction I rolled off of him, “I have to admit, you’re very crafty you know?” he complimented me but I paid it no heed as I tried to yank my arm from his iron tight grip, I was so close to freedom, I could taste it, “Unfortunately, you’re not crafty enough.” Was the last thing that I heard before I was sharply yanked back down towards him and after a hard blow to the back of my head, blackness consumed me.

* * *

 

When I woke up next I lay on a plush comforter laying on a bed softer than even the one I had back home. I jolted into wakefulness when I remembered I’d been kidnapped. Throwing my eyes open I was blinded by a bright light shining directly into my face. Wincing I rolled away from the searing illumination and was greeted with a face directly in front of mine.

“Ah, finally awake I see. How did you sleep? Well, I hope, has anyone ever told you that you look simply—”

“YOU!” I screamed and launched myself at him fingers outstretched to wrap around his throat. Unfortunately, he leapt back off the bed in time to avoid me but that didn’t stop me from attempting to chase him.

Jingle, _clank_.

I stopped dead when I hear the sound of heavy metal dropping to the floor and when I felt a matching tug on my ankle, I glanced down with horror to see a shackle attached to a chain. My stomach dropped into my ankles, then through them and past the floor. Breathing became slightly difficult as my vision flickered in and out between this room and the dark cell I’d been captive in while in the possession of the ‘Vint’s. The whip scars on my back ached in time with the crack of a whip I swore I heard in the air and I flinched at each sound.

_“Dirty southern whore, this will teach you to respect your superiors!”_

A hot line of pain opened up on my back with the final sound of the whip and I whimpered in agony.

A hand on my arm brought me out of my flashback just in time to see the painted face of my kidnapper right in front of me. For the first time since we met, I finally analyzed his face and noticed his blonde hair pulled away from tanned skin. His eyebrows were perfect straight lines over brown eyes that held a small measure of genuine concern and on either side of a perfectly straight nose. Full lips opened to say something but before he could I slapped him across the cheek that didn’t have the curved lines and watched as his face snapped to the side to reveal a set of pointed ears revealed by a braid holding his hair away from his face.

“ _Get out of my sight_.” I hissed and swallowed thickly to try and clear the blockage from my throat. Failing, I crawled back up on the bed as tears came unbidden to my eyes and I buried my face into the mound of pillows that were piled high at the head of the bed in order to hide my shame. There was a second of hesitation before I heard the rustling of clothes and then the footsteps of the retreating elf. A moment of realization dawned on me in that instant, “Where is the bag I had?” I questioned the mystery man leaving the room I occupied,

“That ragged thing? You dropped it in the alley when we had our little scuffle, so I left it there.” Each lilted word was a kick to my stomach and I curled up in a ball to try and keep the pain at bay. Just like every time before, it didn’t work.

“I **_hate_** you.” Was the last thing I said before the aching in my back became too much to handle anymore. If nothing else the pain was familiar and despite the fact that it was horrible, it brought me a strange form of comfort.

“That’s nothing unusual, you’ll get over it in time I’m sure. No one can resist my natural charm and charisma.” He quipped from the opposite end of the room and I didn’t feel that felt worthy of a response, so I said nothing. A knock on the wood of a door sounded through the room, which was immediately followed by the sound of the same door opening and closing.

I continued to lay there, I wasn’t sure for how long before I realized that sitting around wasn’t helping my situation any. The urge to lay around and mope wasn’t there like it used to be. I didn’t have a purpose before but now that I’d been made a part of The Chargers, I knew that sitting around wasn’t the solution to my problems. First things first, I needed to get out of this chain.

Getting up, I grasped the chain and started analyzing the links and testing each one’s strength. There was always a weak link, I just needed to find it and then break it. Turns out though, it was a long chain and it was beginning to take me a while to just find out what link would connect to the base of what was restraining me. As I continued to pull the chain up, I got impatient and just began to pull with all my strength as quickly as I possibly could.

A sudden stop told me I’d finally reached the end and I followed it to where it met up with the bedpost looped around the bottom where the floor kept it from slipping off. The final link was considerably larger and thicker than the rest and a couple hard pulls told me it definitely wasn’t the weakest link either. The sound of a key being inserted into a keyhole caught my attention. Hastily I jumped to my feet and looked around for anything that I could use as a weapon. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much besides a candelabra sitting on the bedside table.

The door opened to reveal a frivolously dressed man enter the room. Two female servants followed him inside, one held a white box with a big red bow on top while the other carried a tray of food. I did my best to make sure that I kept my attention on the man in the mask who dressed in clothes that just seemed completely over the top.

He wore a big white hat that must have extended over a foot above his head, a silver mask that obscured his face almost entirely except for the tip of his nose and his mouth. His eyes were an unsettling blue that was so light it almost looked white, under his bottom lip there was a white Captain Morgan moustache and a goatee that made me think of a goat.

His shirt was puffed on the shoulders with a blue and gold waist coat overtop that covered grey pants tucked into white knee high leggings that accentuated his well shaped calves. His shoes had a heel about two inches high and they were black with golden embellishments on them. Overall he looked like he was pulled straight out of 18th or 19th century France and I let the disgust show on my face. It was obvious that this guy was the one in charge here.

“Ah excellent, I see you have awoken.” He greeted me with a thick French sounding accent, “I hope you slept well? I took extra precautions to make sure you were comfortable. How do you like your new room?” I could only glare at him as he posed with his hands on his hips with one foot placed in front of the other.

“Where am I? And who are you?” I demanded as the one lady set the tray of food on a table in the center of the room and the other set the box on the bed and turned back to the frivolously dressed man near the door.

“Ah yes, please forgive my rudeness. I am Lord Richomme of the Orlesian Royal Court and you are currently in one of my many vacation homes.” He bowed deeply with his arms spread wide like a stage performer and I have to say, I was tempted to clap. “I hope you would accept this gift as recompense for the rough handling you no doubt received with my elven… _assistant_.” I didn’t miss the careful enunciation of ‘assistant’ that suggested there was more to his role than just _assisting_. After all, he did a little more than _assist_ me here. Despite the fact that I now knew he wasn’t the mastermind behind this whole thing, my loathing for him lessened slightly. Until that is I remembered he’d left Sophi’s backpack down some random alley back in Highever.

The woman who’d put the box on the bed opened it upon this _Lord’s_ order and revealed a beautiful white and silver dress, embellished with all manner of delicate embroidery, white gems, and beading. I couldn’t help but feel however, that it was more of a bribe to keep me from asking too many questions, “What do you think?”

“Why am I here?” I avoided his inquiry and I could see the displeasure turn the corners of his mouth down, obviously that hadn’t been the response he’d been seeking. He started walking towards me in a slow but purposeful manner to make the heels of his shoes click purposefully against the white tiled floor. As he got nearer, I drew myself up and stood to my full height refusing to back down. I also noticed that compared to standing up to The Iron Bull, this was incredibly easy since this man was barely taller than me in those ridiculous shoes. One of his hands reached out and picked up a strand of my now slightly greasy hair and rubbed it between his fingers.

“I pride myself and my estates on having a collection of unique or rare items. It’s something of a hobby for me, you could say. So naturally, when one of my assistants told me of your blue and green hair, I had to see it for myself.” He said and lifted the strands to his face to smell them before he let them fall back through his fingers. At this point I was severely creeped out and was now doing my absolute best to make sure that I didn’t take any steps backwards. I refused to back down now, especially after he had called me an object.

“I’m not an _item_.” I hissed through gritted teeth, “You’re nothing but a filthy kidnapper.” Were the words I spat hatefully at his face. After the words left my mouth I felt my head snap to the side as my cheek started to burn from the slap he’d just given me. Fingers wrapped around my chin and forced me to look back at him.

“You will not speak to me in such a manner. Maybe you could get away with that attitude with those _mercenaries_ but now you belong to _me_ , and you will address me with respect as ‘my lord’, or ‘sir’. Is that clear?” he ordered me strictly and I could only glare loathingly at the mask. When I didn’t respond right away he tightened his grip and shook my head a little.

“Yes… _sir_.” I bit out with every ounce of contempt that I could. He let go before turning around and strutting back towards the door.

“Good, now clean her up and get her ready for the afternoon. I want her presentable for my guests later.” Sir Pompous Ass dictated as he walked from the room. The women curtsied and I remained ram rod straight. After the door closed behind him the female servants bustled over to me and ushered me to a separate room where there was a bath tub filled to the brim with steaming water.

* * *

 

I wasn’t sure how much longer it was after I had been forced into the smaller bathing area but eventually I was swathed in the beautiful dress that had been in the box earlier. I was disturbed to find that it fit perfectly despite the fact that I couldn’t have been in this house for more than a few hours at most. When they had gotten my measurements I had no idea, but considering the fact that I couldn’t remember obviously meant they had taken them while I was unconscious.

The dress had a wide neckline that dipped over my shoulders and left them bare while also being extremely low cut in the front. This was also the case in the back which revealed my whip scars in all their brutal glory much to my dislike. The bodice was tightened to the maximum by a corset that only accentuated how thin I’d become over my time spent here. The corset was covered in a soft blue velvet that was so smooth to the touch I constantly found myself fingering it whenever my mind started to wander. The skirt of the dress arched out from my hips in a very ball gown shape, and at the hem near the floor, it was embroidered with the same color of thread as the corset.

All in all, I absolutely hated that I loved the dress.

My hair was done up in lots of curls that cascaded over my shoulder and complimented the blue-green ombre perfectly. Normally I would be ecstatic at being all dressed up like I was, but knowing it was only because I was to play the part of pretty doll definitely put a damper on the experience. Boy did I look the part too, my skin was white as porcelain and the lack of color did nothing to help my complexion, but it made my hair stand out all the more and I suppose that was the whole point.

The sound of the door opening caught my attention and I was once again face to face with the one responsible for bringing me here in the first place. I narrowed my eyes into a glare as he glanced at me appreciatively up and down. A smirk adorned his smug looking expression as he sauntered his way over to me. This time I took notice of his deep green tunic (green _must_ be an elf thing), dark leggings, thigh high green boots and the unmistakable armour lining his legs as well as his arms. There was also a black cloak around his neck, but it was thrown over his shoulders. I think there might be a hood as well but considering it was down, it was hard to tell from the front.

“Well if I thought you looked ravishing before, then you look simply ready to eat right now. I have to say, your hair is simply stunning. How did you accomplish this?” he asked excitedly, like a puppy and I growled deep in my throat. I was so tired of this goddamn question.

“None of your fucking business that’s how. Now piss off before I shove a hairpin up your ass and see if it comes out your mouth just like the rest of the shit you say.” I spat venomously and watched as his face lit up like a kid on Christmas.

“You are a feisty little minx! I was concerned that your spirit had been broken before but I am pleased to see that it remains just as potent as ever!” he reached an arm around my shoulders in a friendly manner which I did my best to sidestep out of, but the ridiculous matching shoes the women had put me in put me off balance and it ended up being more of a stumble than anything. Much to my displeasure, he caught me, “Careful, you don’t want to be falling for me just yet.” He giggled like a teenager encountering his crush for the first time and I only continued to glare at him, “But there will be enough time for that later, for now the Lord Richomme requests your presence in his inner garden for the party he’s hosting.” Without waiting for me to respond, he wrapped his arm around mine and briskly escorted me out of the room. The hallways were lit with a mixture of natural sunlight and candles that were spaced evenly along the walls and decorated with a rich blue and gold exactly like the ship I’d seen in the harbor yesterday. “You must forgive me, but I do not think we have been properly introduced before now. My name is Zevran, formerly of the Antivan Crows, and of The Hero of Fereldan’s company. Might I ask what your name is?” the majority of what he said held no significance to me despite the fact that he said them in a manner that suggested they were accomplished feats.

“Arryn.” Was my tart response but before he could say anything else, I quickly moved on to a subject of interest, “Antivan Crows. That’s a strange title, what do you do exactly? Search the streets for innocent people to kidnap?” he laughed heartily at my stab to his pride,

“Only sometimes, although usually it ends with a lot more blood and a dead body or two. They are an assassination guild.”

“It seems like you’re a poor assassin then considering I’m still alive.”

“That sharp wit of yours will hurt someone if you’re not careful.” I could hear the smirk on his face and I glared up at him through my hair, “But I was not hired to kill you. In fact, this was more to sate my own curiosity than a job. When I heard rumor spread of a woman with hair the color of gemstones, I had to see it for myself.”

“So if you weren’t hired to kill me, surely you were hired to kill someone else then?” maybe if I just kept him talking, he’d spill the beans on everything I asked him. Except what he said next nearly made me faint right on the spot. Fear chilled me to the bone and fury boiled in my veins. The sensation nearly caused my brain to shut down.

“Oh yes of course! In fact, if your leader doesn’t accept the news of your departure so well, I have taken a contract to end the lives of all those who object.”

* * *

**Please leave me with your thoughts if you'd like, I'd love to hear them!**

 


	9. Hymn for the Missing- As They Pull Us Underneath

**So people have expressed a dislike about having long authors notes so I shall do my best to only put essential information here when necessary. As such I have nothing to report this time, enjoy the chapter!!**

* * *

 

“Her hair, it’s not natural. I simply do not know what Lord Richomme sees in it. Clearly, it’s some demon essence she has been cursed with...”

“The scars on her back are unsightly! She should cover herself up!”

“Doesn’t she look exquisite in that white gown? It completely emphasizes the radiant colors of her hair!”

“She would be prettier if she smiled…”

These were snippets of conversation that I’d heard while walking around the exceptionally well kept garden where this needlessly extravagant party was being held. Flowers and trees that were clearly not native to the land bloomed and stood in the most expertly placed positions so as to create the best atmosphere. I was doing my best to avoid all the party guests the minute after I arrived. I had no desire to talk and make idle conversation with these people who meant nothing to me, doubly so since I didn’t want to make a fool of myself with my utter lack of knowledge on hardly anything. If worse came to worse, I suppose I could always lecture them on the fine art of explosives…

As I walked the perimeter of the enclosed area, I searched for the best way to escape this gilded cage I’d been placed in. I had to warn everyone that there was a very real possibility of an assassin making an attempt on all their lives should they make an effort to find and help me. Unfortunately, the walls were too high and smooth to make a realistic attempt at scaling the wall, and every entrance had at least four guards stationed there. With no weapons of my own (the elven assassin had taken my only dagger), I didn’t stand a chance at fighting my way out. Although to be fair even if I did have a weapon or two, my lack of experience with them would only make it a foolish attempt at best.

Speaking of the assassin, I was also doing my best to find him as he has been absent for quite a substantial period of time that I was beginning to get worried about where he might be and what he might be doing. Especially after he told me that he was going to kill the only people I cared about in this whole world. My stomach twisted uncomfortably at the image of seeing their dead bodies lying in the middle of the street, eyes staring straight ahead as they were covered in their own blood.

Assuming they even truly cared about me in the first place. Assuming that they were making an effort to look for me. Assuming they didn’t see it as a burden lifted from their shoulders.

A helpless, defenceless girl finally gone from their worries. I added nothing to the team, essentially I was worthless, nothing but dead weight holding them back. A deep sadness settled itself in my chest. I had seen the disappointment and disapproval in all of their faces the night The Iron Bull had announced my joining. They were probably glad I was gone.

Breathing deeply, I fought off tears and reached behind my head and did my best to rub my aching scars and ease the discomfort but the tight dress restricted my movements too much for me to have much success.

“Would you like some help with that?” the lilting voice of Zevran purred from the shade of a tree covered in pink blossoms. My head snapped in his direction and with purpose I strode towards him,

“You, there you are!” I exclaimed hoarsely and I stomped towards him. His face lit up with a sideways smile and a mischievous glint in his brown eyes.

“Oh, you were looking for me? I didn’t realize you desired my company so. What can I do for you? To you?” he offered and I scowled at him while I rolled my eyes and dragged him further into the bush where we would be away from the prying eyes of the party guests.

“I don’t desire your company, but I have to know have you… have you…” I swallowed thickly to try and clear my throat but no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t force the question past my lips. As if saying it would make it more real.

“Killed them yet?” He filled in and I could only nod as I stared up at him with dread on my face. My breathing came shallowly and quickly, “Mmmm, no, not yet. Although they are beginning to cause quite the fuss over you. Especially the one blonde haired boy, he seems quite determined to find out where you disappeared to.” Gaelic, he had to be talking about Gaelic. I breathed a sigh of relief at the fact that they were still safe for now, “I may also have to up the price for the Qunari, he is quite large, even by their standards. He may be harder to kill than I previously thought.”

They… they were searching for me. Actively searching for me. Making a fuss he said? My heart soared with joy. Well, it did for a moment, at least, until I remembered that if they caused too much of a fuss, this one in front of me was in charge of ending it. Permanently.

“What would it take to make you rescind the contract on their lives?” I asked, my voice laced with steel.

“All of them?”

“All of them.” He grinned widely and looked me up and down. I stood straight, with my chin held high refusing to show weakness under his gaze.

“What are you offering?”

“Anything.”

“Anything?” he clarified incredulous as he leaned against the same pink flowered tree. I swallowed hard once I’d realized the implication of what I’d just said. Now that I’d said it, however, I had to stick to it. No price was too high if it meant saving the lives of my friends. Sophi’s face flashed in front of my eyes as I remembered how I’d given into the fear of the whip and refused to demand to know where she was. _Hypocrite_. My mind hissed as my scars burned in reminder,

“Anything.” With an appraising look he pushed away from the tree and approached me. I did my best to stand my ground and not give him even one inch. That became more difficult when a hand appeared on my back in between my shoulder blades and started to trace the length of a scar.

“That is quite the offer indeed and a very high price to meet, I must add. I do not think you will be able to pay it all at once, but I suppose we could start with the story behind these rather gruesome scars.” A teasing note in his voice suggested that he thought it was bedtime fun time gone too far. I pulled out of his reach and turned to face him fully,

“I was captured by Tevinter slavers along with…” I swallowed past another lump that had formed in my throat, “…a friend. She didn’t make it. When I tried to escape, they tied me to a tree and decided to lay open my back with a whip. It was to ‘teach me respect for my superiors’.” I sharpened my glance into a glare, “It was also _her_ backpack you left in the alleyway after you kidnapped me. The only memento I had of my one friend and you dumped it in a dirty, random alley.” Zevran at least had the decency to look ashamed when he realized it wasn’t just my backpack he had failed to retrieve after our first scuffle.

“I suppose that does explain why you were so passionately angry with me over it, but you do know that she’s gone, yes? You can’t just keep holding onto her forever. That kind of sentimentality will get you killed, Lashes.” There was a beat of silence before my brain kicked in and registered what he’d just called me with that disgusting smirk on his face.

“ _L-Lashes??_ ” I cried utterly flabbergasted at his nickname that he’d so thoughtlessly given me. The smirk widened into a shit eating grin at my reaction,

“Yes, Lashes, as in the lash marks on your back. Clever, no? It suits you as a very _striking_ woman.”

“ _Striking?! Lashes?! You- you insufferable— bastard!_ ” I practically screamed at the elven man who even had the nerve to start snickering to himself and I hated that a small part of me actually _enjoyed_ that pun.

“Oh come now, you liked it, even I can see that. Plain as the nose on your face.” Zevran teased me and for added measure even poked my nose with the tip of his finger, which I swatted away.

“So do we have a deal or not?” I demanded changing the subject off the topic of my new nickname that I hoped to God wouldn’t stick. The elf became serious once again (much to my surprise) and once again gave me an analytical stare. He was obviously weighing the pros and cons of this possible arrangement and what it would mean for his income. I didn’t have any money to offer in the place of the Lord Runny-comb or whatever the hell he called himself, and I had no doubt that he knew that since my only possession he’d left in the dirty alleyway, “You also owe me for the loss of my deceased friend’s bag.” I added as an extra negotiating point and I saw his eyes fly open,

“What? That is preposterous!”

“Yup, oh and we also can’t forget that you assaulted me in an alleyway. Threw me to the ground if I remember correctly and then placed yourself on top of me. Without my consent, I might add.” I continued as I crossed my arms over my chest. I couldn’t help the dark smirk that threatened to upturn the corners of my mouth at his flabbergasted expression. Oh yes, I was enjoying this very much.

“What I would never—!” I cut him off before he could continue past that part of his defence. I was on a roll now, and I refused to stop for anything,

“Then you started saying a bunch of dirty things to me which completely besmirched my honor, and I don’t think the proprietor of such an extravagant estate would like to hear you defiled his most _precious possession_. In fact, he might be so offended, he himself would rescind the contract and then you’d be left high a dry.” I clucked my tongue and brought a hand to rest under my chin as I watched the realization dawn on his features, “And what about the rest of these very wealthy people here? No doubt they too would hear about the quality of your _services_ , now that wouldn’t be good now would it?” I stared him down as his brows drew into a frown and his mouth gaped like a fish gasping for air. The dark smirk I’d been resisting until now, curled my lips upwards as he floundered for a response that just wouldn’t come, “It’s called a hustle, sweetheart. Now do we have a deal or not?”

“You play a dirty game, minx.” He responded coolly but his eyes sparkled with a newfound respect that hadn’t been there before as he held a hand out towards me, “Very well then, we have a deal.” I gripped his hand in mine and we shook on it.

* * *

 

Once I’d served my usefulness of being an attraction and the party was over, I was once again herded back to my rooms and the chain was put back on my ankle. This time was significantly more difficult, however, since I was awake and fought against being put in a restraint. I kicked and punched at everyone that came near my feet. Eventually they did get me back into the chain, but it took five of them to do so, one of them at each of my limbs, and then the last one to actually put the clasp on my ankle. There were a few bloody noses and split lips by the time the loop of metal was finally on my leg. I could tell that more than one of them wanted to hit me back, but obviously they were under strict orders not to touch me. Therefore, I used my advantage to its fullest. Chained like an animal once again, the guards charged with caging me left and I was alone with my thoughts.

The female servants from before had taken the courtesy of removing the heavy and restricting dress from my person before they handed me back over to the guards who were then in charge of chaining me back to the bed post. So now I was dressed in a thin, flimsy nightgown that was baggy in all the places I had no desire for it to be baggy in. I felt more covered in a bikini than this supposedly _modest_ piece of clothing. Sure it had a high neckline, long sleeves and reached the floor but after the high neckline, it was practically only a tent and barely touched my body after the shelf of my bust. Modest my ass.

Zevran, I hoped, was out finding where Sophi’s backpack was as per our agreement but I couldn’t be sure. The sun was going down, casting the room in various shades of orange and red. The large window, which was actually a double door to a small balcony, faced into the town from the tallest tower in the large estate. Figures I was in the highest room of the tallest tower; it was so cliché it physically hurt. Although I couldn’t deny it was a fantastic view, I could see everything from the port, to the now emptying streets— I shot to the glass as fast as my legs could carry me when I saw something that gave me hope.

There down one of the large roads.

A big hulking figure towering above everyone else.

I grinned.

He also had horns.

I had to find a way to get a message to them. Let them know where I was.

Banging on the glass to get their attention was my first thought, but that was more likely to attract the attention of the people in the household than the Chargers.

My second thought was to scream from the balcony at the top of my lungs and wave my arms like a maniac hoping they would see me, but again that was more likely to gain the attention of the staff and guards here.

My third thought brought a devious smile to my face. Grabbing a couple of the blue candles spaced fairly evenly throughout the room, and a chair, I quickly got to work. The chair, I’d done my best to carry so it would not make any noise along the pristinely polished floor. Unfortunately, it was very heavy and I nearly dropped it once or twice on my way over to the doors. Step one was complete, now to move onto step two.

Blowing out the flame on one of the candles, I climbed on top of the chair and with a satisfying ‘thwack’ I smushed the melted end of the candle against the glass and dragged downwards in a straight line. My arm burned with the effort of it, but I knew it would be worth it in the end. I just had to remember to write backwards.

As each candle reached the dry wax, I had to stop and relight them so as to melt more and once again have them be useful to me. I learned quickly that it was best and easiest to always have a couple burning while I wrote with one. That way I would never run out of melted wax to use.

By the time I finally finished, I was sweating and panting from the exertion. My shoulder was sore and the scars on my back stung from being stretched so much, but it had been worth it as I stared at my completed message. I grinned proudly at my resourcefulness. The message wouldn’t easily be seen by any guards patrolling the ground below my window due to the balcony. It had been silent enough that I hadn’t had even the slightest disturbance from the staff and it was big enough (I hoped) to be seen from the town.

‘Horns Up’ was painted in blue, bold letters all across the window. Of course, for it to be properly read from the outside, I’d had to write it backwards and… goddammit, the ‘S’ was backwards…

I stepped down from the chair and admired my handiwork. It wasn’t written as straight as I’d hoped it would be but it got the message across nonetheless and that was what mattered. Satisfied with my handiwork, I put the candles back on the holders and relit most of them to avoid suspicion of anything nefarious going on in my room. Unfortunately, that also meant stealthily moving the heavy chair once again. Struggling to get the solid piece of wood furniture back over to the desk where I found it proved to be just as hard as getting it over to the window in the first place. Thankfully I’d managed to quietly bring it back just as before.

With the sun having set now, the message had become much less noticeable so in an attempt to keep it as visible as possible, I closed the curtains which were colored gold on the outside and a beautiful royal blue on the inside. A shadow passed outside the doors and my heart skipped a beat in excitement. They found me already! The long haired silhouette sauntered towards the window until the meager light illuminated the face of my visitor. My elation spluttered out when I was able to see it wasn’t any of the Chargers.

“You know if you’re not careful, someone might actually think you want to leave, no?” Zevran quipped teasingly and I gave him a flat, unamused stare before I flicked the drapes closed cutting him off from view, “And still so cruel, little minx.” His muffled voice cried dramatically from the opposite side of the glass. I paid him little heed however as I strode back towards the bed, my ankle chain clinking with every step. Hopefully he would learn to take the hint and leave me alone this time. Although considering his track record— a click of a latch opening caught my attention and I groaned exasperatedly as the double doors to the balcony swung open and then closed again.

“You just don’t know when to take a hi—” I whined and turned around to be face to face with the elven assassin who was standing barely an inch from me. Suddenly I was very aware that I was wearing very little and I brought my arms up and crossed them over my chest. I took a step backwards and he took one to match me so we stayed the same distance apart, “Zevran… what are you doing?” I asked with a touch of fear to my voice when I saw the half lidded stare he was giving me, also the fact that he was standing so close was making me uncomfortable.

“Anything, I do believe you said, yes?” he lilted in a deeper and slightly throatier voice than usual. An expectant smirk curled his mouth upwards and I tried to take another step back. Jesus, clearly I hadn’t thought this through enough. I’d only said ‘anything’ because I had been desperate to stop him from murdering the only people left that I care about.

“Well- I- y-yeah, but- I-” I stuttered as I continued to back up until I tripped over the edge of something soft. A panicked look backwards told me that I’d stumbled into the bed before two arms blocked off both escape routes to the sides. My breathing came hard and fast as I put all the pieces together and saw what he was intending to go through with. The candles in the room gave a half light to everything and shadowed the majority of his face as he bent over me and trapped me against the bed. I could still see the glint in his eyes that promised inappropriate adventures, just the thought of doing something like that here and now made my head spin, and not in a good way. “Zevran, no, not this.” I stated in what I hoped was a firm and steady voice, but I couldn’t be sure. The blonde elf raised an eyebrow questioningly,

“Would you prefer to start with a massage? It is quite pleasurable, I promise.” He offered and my brows furrowed with confusion as he smirked wider turning it into more of a smile than anything.

“Ah see, the scars on my back, probably wouldn’t like a massage. So I’m sorry but that’s a big ‘no’ on whatever thoughts you have running through that dirty brain of yours.” I said finally finding my voice after I’d scrambled on top of the bed and gained some distance between us. Thankfully, I’d managed to escape from him fast enough that he hadn’t chased me this time. He sighed heavily and stared woefully up at me but it was slightly thrown off by the small smirk still present on his face.

“Oh you wound me, to be so thoroughly rejected by such a beautiful woman.” Zevran lamented dramatically as he put a hand to his forehead and turned around to lay on his back on the plush comforter. He tilted his head back so he could look at me again, “May I lay my head in your bosom? I feel I may cry.” A hand stretched towards me and I couldn’t help the snort of amusement that escaped from my nose.

“What the fuck?” I blurted, completely confused but unable to contain my own grin. I covered it with my hand in an attempt to hide it. Unfortunately, he saw it before I could and he flipped around so he was resting on his forearms and grinning widely at me,

“And she’s even more beautiful when she smiles. May I at least get a kiss from the lady for my services?” the grin dropped from my face as he joined me on the bed, nearly as close as he was before.

“Services? What services?”

“Why making sure your merry little band knows where to find you of course.”

“You- you went out to find them?” I asked excitedly and scooted closer in my enthusiasm, my hair spilled over my shoulder and his eyes tracked the movement.

“Yes, I did. Although, to be honest, if I’d known you’d make such a marvelous display on the window such as you did, I might not have given as much of an effort.” He explained and I felt my spirits soar for the first time since I’d met him. A genuine smile broke out on my face, which he returned, “It is wonderful to see her smile. Now about that kiss?” the elf persisted and tapped his cheek for emphasis as he settled himself more comfortably on the bed. I hesitated for a moment before deciding that it was only on the cheek, I suppose he deserved that much at least.

Just as I was about to make contact with is cheek, I felt fingers grasp my chin and at the last possible second, my lips made contact with another pair of lips. I squeaked with surprise and went to draw away until the hand at my chin moved to cup my face. His brown gaze locked onto my grey one and with almost a look of asking permission slowly his lips moved gently against mine and instead of pulling away, I ended up drawing closer. Responding to him I molded my lips to fit his better as my hands slowly reached up to twine in his hair falling over the back of his neck. It was surprisingly soft between my fingers. My eyes closed of their own accord as he pulled me towards him, a hand at the small of my back.

My instincts were screaming that this was wrong. This man kidnapped me and threatened to kill my friends if I didn’t comply to stay with another man who treated and viewed me as property. I knew this was immoral and ill advised and if it were happening in a story I would likely be screaming at the girl to ‘cut it out it isn’t right’ but as my arms wound around his neck and his around my waist, I found myself becoming lost in my emotions. It seemed like it had been so long since someone had shown this kind of desire for me that I was falling for every little touch and gesture. Although, when his hands slid down my back and under my rear, that’s when I snapped back to reality.

“No, that’s enough.” I breathed and tried to extricate myself from his grip but he held fast as he let out a sigh. His eyes locked onto mine and he smirked devilishly and then slowly, he relinquished his hold on me.

“That wasn’t so bad now was it?” he quipped teasingly and raised both his eyebrows, “In fact I think you rather enjoyed it, yes?” I could feel my face heat up as my spine straightened with indignity. I shoved a finger shaking with anger into his face,

“Don’t put words—” I was cut off from what I was going to say when I heard the veranda doors swing open and a breeze from outside blew the curtains into the room. Zevran turned to face the possible threat entering the room, my heart stopped beating as footsteps sounded from behind the billowing fabric. A booted foot appeared in the space between the drape and the floor as the owner walked cautiously. Finally, from around the edge stepped, “Gaelic!” I cried happily and scrambled off the bed with the chain around my ankle clinking with every movement. I dodged around Zevran and launched myself at my friend. Wrapping my arms around him, I hugged him as tightly as I could.

“Arryn! I’m so glad to see that you’re safe!” he exclaimed and I felt one of his arms wrap around me in return, “I suppose we have you to partially thank for this.” Gaelic bit out bitterly towards I could only assume, Zevran.

“You shouldn’t be thanking me too much, since in fact I’m the one who kidnapped her in the first place.” He willingly admitted and I felt the arm around me tighten ever so slightly as the blonde man pushed me behind him. I tried to resist, but he’d caught me off guard and by the time I’d managed to figure out what he was doing, I was already on the other side of his body.

“You’re also an Antivan Crow or you were. I recognize you from the last time you were in Denerim with the Hero.”

“Oh? I don’t remember trying seeing you there.”

“I doubted you would, but you distracted the slavers trying to smuggle me out of the city long enough for me to escape from them. For that I suppose I owe you my life.” At his admission of that piece of information, I glanced back up to the blonde elf who stood solid in front of me. He too had almost been a slave? My eyes were immediately drawn to his back, which I just realized, I’d never seen. Did he get whipped too, I couldn’t help but wonder?

“Well in that case you are most welcome my friend. Glad I could be of assistance.” Zevran quipped cheerfully,

“Although I cam curious, if you were the one to kidnap her in the first place, why are you helping us now? Why are you helping _her_ now? What’s in this for you?”

“Assuming that Lashes here has upheld her end of the deal, a continued reputation and possibility of employment. Quite the ruthless little minx you have there. If she’d had a knife I would have feared for my manhood, thankfully she did not.”

“Don’t call me that, that’s not my name, you dick.” I retorted hotly. I still didn’t like that nickname he had given me. Those wounds were still too raw for me to make light of them yet. “But back on topic, Gaelic please tell me you brought me a change of clothes. If I have to leave wearing this or one of the ridiculously over-the-top dresses I’m going to have a fucking cow.” I exclaimed,

“A cow?” repeated Zevran completely confused. I waved him off of an explanation and turned my attention back to my comrade still currently facing off the other elf,

“Lashes?” Gaelic mimicked as he pulled a bag off of his shoulder and handed it to me. Instantly I recognized it as Sophi’s backpack. Elated I opened it and began to rifle through the contents. Hallelujah, there were realistic clothes! Dalish must have gone back to the seamstress to pick up the rest of the order.

“Yes, for the lash scars on her back. Fitting, no?” the tattooed man stated proudly, obviously pleased with himself, I merely rolled my eyes and continued to dig through the contents of the bag. There was a green tunic, white leggings that were the softest material I’d ever felt, and a pair of durable leather boots. Oh thank God, now I could get out of this ridiculous nightgown. With the window open it was beginning to get a bit chilly in here and pretty soon, it would be easy to see that I was cold. My ankle chain jingled mockingly when I went to move. Right, that would make changing significantly more difficult.

That’s when I noticed the tense silence between the two men. They only had eyes for each other as they stared each other down. Gaelic fingered one of the daggers at his waist as Zevran rested his hands on his hips where I could only assume his own weapons lay. I couldn’t see the expression of the one I had been made to use as a meat shield but the one across the room, to no one’s surprise, was smirking confidently with triumph. He fell into a seemingly relaxed stance but I could see that he was anything but relaxed and if Gaelic were to suddenly make a move towards him, it would be a mistake.

“Don’t be an ass, Zevran.” I broke the hush and both of their stares turned to me. I breathed a small sigh of relief as the tension fizzled out, “Want to help me get out of this chain?” that seemed to break whatever was going on between them.

“Of course, let’s get out of here Arryn.” The green eyed elf acknowledged and unsheathing one of his knives, he bent down to get to the chain connecting me to the bed post.

“Don’t ruin your weapon on sawing through that chain, my friend.” The brown eyed elf spoke up and swaggered his way over to me. Gaelic put himself in between me and the assassin, “If I wanted to hurt her, I would have already. I have had more than ample opportunity to do so.” The anger laced through his voice surprised me. Until now I hadn’t thought he’d been capable of it, but obviously I’d been wrong and now a flicker of fear went through me. It also reminded me that this man was dangerous and I’d been careless letting my guard down around him. Plus, he was right, if he truly wanted to hurt me, he would have and there would have been nothing I could have done.

“Why do you want to help?” my friend questioned him with suspicion.

“It pains me to see such a beautiful woman chained against her will.” The fake concern and dramatic response had me rolling my eyes.

“We both know if that was the whole truth Zevran, I would already be out of this chain. What are you wanting in return?” stepping out from behind my protector, I faced him myself and his small smirk turned into a full fledged grin as his eyes sparkled with barely concealed mischief.

“Normally my price would be a night alone with you to do whatever I wished,” I blushed deeply and bit my lips to keep me from saying anything that would likely get myself in trouble. I was unable to hold his gaze as it roved over me with a heat I could feel on my skin, I could feel Gaelic shifting to stand in front of me again but I pushed him out of the way. Once I could feel the heat of Zevran’s gaze return to my face I met his eyes once again. The fire that had been present before was dimmer now and I found I could hold his stare easily, “but I think I will take the time to think about my options.” He then reached into a pocket and pulled out a key. The grin on his face let me know exactly which lock it opened and I could feel the indignation rise like the tide.

“You had that this whole time and you never thought to free me before now?!” I stage whispered since I didn’t want to raise any sort of alarm outside this room. I swiped for the piece of metal in a very stereotypical key shape but he yanked it just out of my grip at the last possible second. Great, now he was going to be childish… I reached for it again with the same effect, “Goddammit! Give me the fucking key!” I cried and jumped this time, since he was taller than me and was now holding it above his head.

“But I am enjoying this far too much to do something so foolish.” He replied grinning from ear to ear as he continued to dangle it above my head. I fumed at the elven assassin who derived mirth from my suffering. Although reacting this way was exactly what he wanted me to do. So doing my best to be calm, I crossed my arms over my chest and then with one hand held out expectantly, I gave him my best unimpressed glare. There was a moment or two of silence before the grin slowly faded a bit and he placed the warm hunk of metal into my palm.

“Thank you.” I bent down towards my leg ad after a moment of searching, I found the key hole. Inserting the key, I twisted it until I heard the telltale click of a lock opening and the heavy ‘clank’ of the thick metal band hitting the floor. Sighing with relief I massaged the damaged tissue that was red and raw from my struggles to get the metal off my ankle. Then I stood and grabbed the backpack which contained my change of clothes.

“INTRUDERS!” someone yelled from outside my window and at the noise, all of us turned to the open door where high activity could be heard. Gaelic cursed under his breath,

“Fenharel’s Teeth, we took too long. They noticed the missing guards. Come on Arryn, we have to go.” He insisted and grabbed my hand. I yanked it back out of his grip,

“No, if you think I’m just going to sneak out of here without giving the piece of shit who ordered my kidnapping a piece of my mind, then you got another thing coming, Gaelic.” Steel laced my tone and I set my most determined and stubborn glare straight at him.

“Yes, that’s the spirit! Show him who the boss is, yes? I love this energy, little minx!” Zevran cut in excitedly and my comrade gave the other elf an unimpressed glare. Of course, the tattooed man took this as a challenge and stepped closer to me, “But if you would like to run off with your tail between your legs like one of the dogs these Fereldens love so much, I think I would be more than enough to protect her. After all, it was in your care that she got kidnapped in the first place wasn’t it?” at the utterance of those words, a dagger glinted in the moonlight and the harsh sound of iron sliding against iron tore through the air.

“I dare you to repeat that, _Crow_.” Gaelic grit out between clenched teeth, “The only reason I haven’t tried to kill you already is because you helped us find Arryn, even if you’re the reason why she disappeared in the first place.” He got a little closer and pressed harder against the dagger aimed at Zevran’s throat that he had blocked at the very last second with his own knife, “You can slander me all you wish, but if you ever slander our Chief like that again, I’ll tear you limb from limb with my bare hands.” I think this was the first time I’ve ever heard Gaelic angry, truly angry, possibly even enraged.

“Gaelic!” I reprimanded him as he did his best to get through Zevran’s defence, but he paid me no heed.

“I only speak the truth, if you cannot handle it, perhaps you should return to the skirts of this ‘Chief’ you mentioned.” Was the scathing retort, and I noticed his voice had just a little more strain than usual.

“Zevran!” neither of them responded to my calls until I stepped on the one’s foot and elbowed the other in the gut, that got their attention easily enough, “Would you cut this shit out? we don’t have time for the ‘my dick is bigger than your dick’ contest right now! Right now we need to—”

I was cut off by the door banging open with unnecessary force as a group of household guards barged their way inside, weapons drawn and at the ready. _Oh shit_. Was the only thought that flew through my mind a second before the front line charged at us, swords raised above their heads and a war cry on their lips.

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**I hope I was able to keep Zevran in character and please let me know if I screwed anything up!**

**Thanks for reading!**


	10. Hymn for the Missing- Lashes

**Alright, here is the next chapter! Sorry for the long wait but hopefully this chapter makes up for it!**

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“Get down!” ordered Gaelic as he shoved me behind him and in one fluid moment drew the twin daggers from their sheaths in a flash of silver and met the line of charging guards head on. The clanging of metal grinding against metal filled the air with its horrible cacophony, but just as quickly as it sounded, it was gone only to be replaced with a spray of red and a cry of agony. My heart stopped for a single moment as I feared for my friend’s well-being until I saw the armored man in front of him fall to the ground clutching at his shoulder. In a blur he moved onto the next one in line and with only a few well placed strokes, he too fell unconscious after a particularly nasty blow to his unprotected head. With ease, Gaelic moved from one guard to the next dispatching them one by one until he stood alone in a pile of writhing bodies.

I had to admit, I was very impressed. I guess before this point, I’d never really seen Gaelic fight and the fact that he was able to come out on top without having actually killed any of them either was doubly so.

“That was a marvelous display, my friend, but I’m afraid you’ve forgotten one very important step in fighting.” Zevran spoke up from beside me as I felt an arm land across my shoulders. I sent an exasperated glare up to the elf who conveniently ignored me, “It would appear that you have left them all alive.” Horrified, I turned my gaze back to the blonde standing among the group of fallen warriors. In turn he glared darkly at the elf by my side, whose arm I pushed off my shoulders and took a step away from. Nothing good ever seemed to come from being close to that man…

“If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked for it. As it is, I’m under orders to not kill anyone unless it’s absolutely necessary.” Was the tart reply. A wet cough sounded out as a man pushed himself to his knees and then spat a bloody glob at Gaelic’s feet.

“Your leader is a coward who hides behind the skirts—” the man didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence before in a blur, his throat was laid open to the bone. Blood erupted from his neck in a thick viscous stream of red liquid. It burbled as it ran into his gaping trachea and into his lungs where he choked on it in a horrible slurping noise. His body fell back with a wet splat as the flow of blood from his neck slowed to a steady stream and then finally to a trickle. I had to fight down the nausea that threatened to empty my stomach contents onto the floor right then and there. The only good thing about the situation was that his eyes were facing away from me.

The face of the Tevinter woman I’d killed flashed across my vision for a moment with her dead eyes staring straight into mine. I fought to keep my breathing even but I don’t think I succeeded entirely.

“That was a ruthless display of rage. I’m sure he regrets his words in the afterlife.” Zevran acknowledged with an air of respect that had definitely been absent before. A quick glint of silver appeared out of the corner of my eye a split second before he drew his arm back to throw what I could only assume was a dagger. Panic set in immediately as I launched myself towards him but half a second too late as the knife left his fingertips straight on a path towards Gaelic. I opened my mouth to cry a warning only to see it, instead, find its mark in the guard who had been sneaking up behind my friend with his sword raised to kill. The knife sunk in to the man’s throat up to the hilt as he fell backwards in a crash of armor, “But probably not as much as you would have regretted letting that one kill you because you didn’t do the deed first, yes?”

“I had the situation under control.” The blonde stated as he stepped over the still struggling bodies of the guards, as I picked up my change of clothes from the floor where I’d dropped them trying to get to Zevran in time to stop him from throwing the knife. Relief had swept through me like a wave over the sand when he hadn’t been aiming for Gaelic, “We need to leave now. More guards will undoubtedly follow. Arryn,” I looked to my friend as he addressed me, “the rest of the Chargers are most likely fighting at the front gates. If you want to find this Lord, we have to be quick.”

“Okay,” I nodded, “just give me a sec to get changed.” I began to make my way over to the sectioned off area for such a purpose. When I heard a second pair of footsteps follow me, however, I glanced back to find Zevran making moves to accompany me a smirk tugging the corner of his lips, “ _Alone,_ Zevran.” I insisted before he held up his hands in surrender and took a couple steps back.

“I thought it might be a new experience helping a lady put clothes _on_ rather than taking them _off_.” He lilted suggestively and I groaned as I rolled my eyes. Stepping behind the folding screen that I suddenly decided wasn’t enough of a barrier between me and them, I started to pull the ridiculous nightgown over my head. Beggars couldn’t be choosers at this point even though I had never wished for a closed off bedroom as much as I did right now. I just hoped they couldn’t see through it, although considering that I couldn’t, I was willing to bet that it was the same for them.

Unfolding the tunic, I noticed a small piece of brown fabric fall to the ground. Bending to pick it up I found it to look like some sort of band, it was even softer than the leggings if that was possible. I assumed it was this world’s equivalent of a bra and so with only slight difficulty, I pulled it over my head and down over my shoulders. Thankfully it was somewhat stretchy and fit perfectly. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised when the seamstress had taken all sorts of measurements the other day. Everything else was easier to put on and within a couple minutes I was fully dressed in my new clothes.

Stepping out from behind the screen, my boots clacked against the stone floor as I hurriedly made my way back to the two men waiting for me. I could feel Zevran’s eyes examining me but I made a point of ignoring him as I took Sophi’s backpack from Gaelic’s outstretched hand which also held a brown belt.

“I think this was supposed to go with it as well.” He stated and after slinging the pack over my shoulder, I looped the belt around my waist and cinched it to almost the tightest setting which unnerved me because it used to be the opposite way around.

“Well, shall we?” I posed somewhat rhetorically and turned to the tattooed elf, “You probably know this place best, so where do we find Lord Dickbag?”

“You know you have the strangest way of speaking, yes?” he chuckled before pulling up his hood which turned out to have what looked like a large bird skull on it. I assumed it was supposed to represent a crow’s skull since that was the name of the organization he used to belong to, or so he says. If he still had, what I assumed to be the standard uniform, it’s likely he was actually still with them. When he finally processed my unamused glare, the blonde stepped forward to take the lead, “Very well, I shall be your faithful guide to the _proprietor of this extravagant estate_.” The emphasis on the last part didn’t escape my notice as he reused my phrasing from when I manipulated him into making a deal.

I followed behind Zevran as Gaelic brought up the rear. As we exited the room, I made a point to avoid looking at the two dead bodies that littered the floor each in pools of their own blood. There was a disgusting squelching noise as the blade was removed from the throat of the guard that had tried to sneak up behind my friend. Then we were out in the hall.

Suspiciously, everything was dead silent. There were no sounds of footsteps echoing down the hallway. No clanking of armor and no clanging of weapons. There was only the sound of silence.

Our leader moved completely silently across the marble floors with me following and doing my best but failing and Gaelic succeeding more than I but still making more noise than Zevran. Clearly this was the difference between a true assassin and a rogue. A sudden vision struck me of Zevran swan diving into a pile of hay, I had to fight down a snicker.

Opening a door carefully to make sure that it wouldn’t make any noise, we continued to sleuth our way down the steps. I had to watch my feet to ensure that I wouldn’t step on anything or otherwise make unwanted sound and so when the head of our group came to a sudden halt at the bottom, I ran straight into his back. I mumbled a quick apology when he turned his head before he cracked the door open to check and see if the coast was clear.

Waving us forward, he opened the door so we could all sneak out before he shut it again behind us. Mentally, I applauded the idea. The less evidence that suggested anything was out of place, the better. Plus, I always hated it when people left doors open while sneaking somewhere. Shaking my head to rid myself of unnecessary thoughts, I focused back on the task at hand.

The door had lead us to a grand hallway that stretched left and right and was lined with all sorts of intricate tapestries, pottery and plush furniture. It was of course all decorated in a royal blue and gold color scheme to match the rest of the house. These had to be the colors of the ‘Orlais’ that he mentioned.

“This way.” the assassin whispered and jogged lightly down the hall to the right. We followed suit and I did my best to remain on the plush carpet where my footsteps would make hardly any noise without having to try too hard. When we reached the corner, Zevran crouched low and motioned for us to stop. I realized why when I peered around and saw a substantial collection of guards posted outside a pair of elaborate double doors. I could only assume that was where we would find our target.

“Alright so what’s the plan?” I prompted and glanced between my two male companions who were the experts at fighting. They in turn glared (well on Gaelic’s part at least, Zevran was grinning like a child on Christmas) at each other,

“Kill the unaware helmet heads, and then confront the Lord _Dickbag_ as you so eloquently stated before, Lashes.” Great… that nickname was totally going to stick…

“Do they have to die? Can’t they just be knocked out, or something?” I tried to negotiate, uncomfortable with the thought of sitting around while (mostly) innocent people were needlessly slaughtered. I didn’t want to think about the families and loved ones they would probably leave behind.

“If you want them to interfere or call for reinforcements while you’re dealing with the Lord and jeopardize our escape, then no they do not have to die.” He stated with what I could only identify as sarcasm and I levelled him with yet another unimpressed glare.

“Gaelic, what do you think?” I turned to the other member of our group who was crouched behind me twirling one of his daggers between his fingers.

“If the Crow wants them dead, he has to do it himself. I won’t go against orders unless absolutely necessary.” Was his calloused response and I stared open mouthed and wide eyed. I thought for sure he would take my side on the matter, but it sounded like it was the exact opposite, “He makes good points Arryn. Our best chance for getting out of here unharmed and in one piece is with making sure those guards are dead without the chance to raise the alarm.”

“See, sometimes killing people is the right thing to do. Although you wound me leaving me to do the dirty work.” The fake hurt in the elf’s voice had me rolling my eyes so far into the back of my head I’d thought they’d stay that way.

“Don’t deny that you’re going to enjoy it that way.”

“You’re right, I will enjoy it very much. Wish me luck, Lashes.” Zevran winked at me from underneath his hood as he drew a pair of daggers and disappeared around the corner. I refused to watch him murder those people and drew back from the edge of the hallway but the sounds were something I couldn’t avoid. The screams of death and the clashing of weapons nearly made me sick. Knowing what was going on barely more than thirty feet from me and doing nothing about it made me question the choices I’d made lately.

“You’re sure you still want to go through with this Arryn? It’s not too late to regroup with the Chargers now and leave this place.” Gaelic pressed and I glanced back to see him staring at me expectantly.

“Yes, absolutely.” I straightened my spine as much as I could in my crouching position, “If I just walk out of here now, it’ll be like I’m letting him win and I’m running away with my tail between my legs. I have to show him he didn’t break me, that I’m not afraid of him.” And that I also managed to turn one of his own against him, but I thought it better to not say that one out loud. Basically this was a matter of pride for me, I just wish there weren’t so many people paying the price for it.

The other blonde of the group sighed heavily before he reached behind him and pulled out a wrapped package. It looked to be in the shape of a dagger but I could be sure with the covering. I watched curiously as he unwrapped it to reveal that it wasn’t just one dagger, but two. They were curved wickedly and sharpened on only one edge with black leather wrapped around the handles which were protected by a simple cross guard.

“I bought these for you as your welcome gift. I was going to give them to you when you returned with Dalish, but you will most likely need them when you go in to face the Lord Fussy-Britches.” A familiar smile broke his serious façade and I suddenly felt a lot better about everything. This was the Gaelic I’d missed, and his grim replacement that had been present this whole time had been depressing me. Smiling widely, I took them from him.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful.” Was my response before I heard a whistle echo from down the hall and once again the smile faded behind a sober mask. Gripping the weapons tightly, we stood and carefully rounded the corner.

Immediately I wished I hadn’t insisted on doing this because the sight of half a dozen dead bodies littering the hallway had me gagging. I had to pause and fight down the bile forcing its way up my throat. It burned my esophagus all the way up to my mouth where I had to experience the horrible sensation of swallowing vomit which very nearly made me throw up again. Once I was sure everything in my stomach would stay where it was supposed to, I continued on down the hallway to see Zevran cleaning a knife while sitting on the body of one of the guards.

“Well, shall we then? I have to admit; I’m looking forward to seeing what you have to say to our mutual friend.” He quipped as he stood from his corpse seat and gestured towards the doors. I gripped my daggers tightly before walking up to them and with a devilish grin and a silent prayer to any and all gods listening, I raised my foot and kicked with all my strength. Much to my surprise and glory, they splintered inwards and slammed into the walls on the other side.

“What is the meaning of this insult?!” cried Lord Runny-Comb as he posed once again with a sword at his hip. He’d forgone the hat and mask since we no doubt had woken him up from sleep. Especially since he was only half dressed in only a dressing robe.

“Insult? You think _I’m_ insulting _you_?!” I cried furious, “ _You’re_ the one who had _me_ kidnapped right off the fucking streets!” I pointed my weapon at his nose as I took steps forward to do my best to intimidate him. Judging by how he shifted position and took half a step backwards, I think I succeeded, “If anything, _you_ insulted _me_!”

“Don’t be a fool. You were practically destitute, living in the wilderness, selling yourself for money, I did you a favor raising you above all that and giving you a life worth living. One with riches and your heart’s every desire.” He embellished with his arms as he started to strut around his small sitting room, “And how do you repay my hospitality and generosity? You turn my own staff against me,” he pointed to Zevran with the tip of his sword, “you murder the members of my guard, and you insult me further with your desire to continue to roll around in the mud with those filthy mercenary _pigs_!”

“Loyalty is what you get when you don’t treat people like possessions you entitled, selfish, bastard!” I screamed unleashing all of my unholy fury, “You’ve never seen me as anything more than an attraction for your boring parties and a valued _piece_ of your _precious collection_ when I’m not on display for everyone to ogle at! At least with the Chargers, I was valued as a _person_ and not just an item to be shined up and kept in a glass box!” there was a beat of silence that followed my outburst as his lips twisted into an ugly snarl, “So this is me taking my leave,” I bowed mockingly, “thank you for your _generous_ hospitality.” With that, I turned on my heel and started to walk back out the way I came in. Gaelic was staring at me with a look of pride that I returned with a small smile.

“It seems that I have gone about this in the wrong manner. Clearly I should have taken care of your silly little mercenary crew to begin with, Crow,” he addressed Zevran, much to my surprise, “eliminate every single one of these _Bull’s Chargers_ , and I shall pardon your _momentary_ lapse of judgement in betraying me to side with these degenerates!” my heart skipped a couple beats as I observed the reaction of the elven assassin to the Lord’s offer. He glanced first at me, then to Gaelic as he leaned against the doorframe twirling a silver blade between his fingers.

“That is a most generous offer indeed, but I’m afraid I will have to refuse.” I glanced back over my shoulder just in time to see the flabbergasted expression on Runny-Comb’s face, “After all, now that she has not one weapon, but two, I fear for the dignity of my manhood should I betray her. Plus, who wouldn’t want to work for such an exotic creature, her beauty is unparalleled by any woman I have ever had the pleasure of embracing.” He purred near the end and I rolled my eyes while Gaelic narrowed his eyes first at me and then the other male of our group.

“You whore! Now it becomes clear how you have won the devotion of your comrades! With your—” he didn’t get a chance to finish his insult before the assassin’s dagger appeared at his throat.

“Be careful what you say, my friend. She is an honorable woman who refused my advances and because I am a gentleman, I respected her wishes.” The malice present in his voice rumbled throughout the room, “What would you like me to do with him, my lady? He insulted your virtue, I do believe that is a crime worthy of death, no?” he lilted in a slightly lighter voice but with an edge sharpened with disdain.

“No, he’s not worth it. Killing him would do no good and would likely leave a stain on your reputation. Come on, let’s go, I’ve had enough of this place.” I spat venomously but purposefully left out that if I saw another person die in front of me, I’d lose my composure completely and projectile vomit over everything in sight.

“As you wish.” Zevran stated before delivering a quick blow to the side of the Lord’s head knocking him out immediately, his unconscious body fell to the floor with a thump, “Just so he doesn’t get any ideas about hindering our escape.” I allowed myself to acknowledge that being a good idea before we made our way out of the mansion.

* * *

 

“Arryn!” cried a musical voice and before I could register anything else, I was engulfed in a tight hug, “I was so worried when I thought we’d lost you. I’m sorry, I should have been paying more attention.” Dalish apologized while I was still trapped in her embrace slowly suffocating until she released me just as suddenly as she grasped me, “You. You are the one responsible for this.” The white haired elf accused the only person not a member of the group as she placed herself in front of me and readied her staff.

“Hold up Dalish, I know he was the one who kidnapped Arryn in the first place, but we wouldn’t have made it out of there in one piece without him.” Gaelic, much to my surprise came to Zevran’s defence when I was unable to get around Dalish in time.

“Is that right?” rumbled a deep voice that I didn’t know I missed until I’d heard it. I glanced around and found the horned owner standing at the head of the rest of the company. The rag tag group that I was slowly beginning to call home. I beamed at them and watched as the Iron Bull returned my grin with a small smirk of his own.

“That’s right Chief, although you have Arryn here to thank for that. Apparently she managed to convince him to work for her instead of the pompous Lord who owns that estate.” Gaelic continued and I could feel the eyes of everyone turn to me, including our leader who started laughing.

“Now that’s a story I would like to hear!” I groaned when he said that, “Speaking of which, we should probably make conversation elsewhere. Don’t want to attract the attention of anymore guards.” Bull walked up to me and with a force to knock all of the air out of my lungs, patted me on the back, “It’s good to have you back, Arryn. Nice job with the message, it caused quite a stir in town of people wondering what it meant.” a warm fuzzy feeling started up in my stomach when he congratulated me on my accomplishment that had indeed worked fabulously to alert them to my location. “So who is this assassin that helped you escape?” the Qunari inquired and I was about to open my mouth to answer his question when, the elf in question stepped up to the plate.

“My name is Zevran, formerly of House Arainai, and formerly of the Antivan Crows. You might have heard of my accomplishments alongside the Hero and the King of Fereldan Alistair Theirin.” The elf bowed deeply while he grinned widely from underneath the hood that he still wore over his face. I was surprised to note that he had definitely left out the _knowing a ruler_ bit the first time we were properly introduced. I rolled my eyes, must be because now there was an audience to impress, that wouldn’t surprise me in the least.

“Those are some impressive claims there Zevran, though it seems like you might have the skills to back them up.”

“Of course my large, horny friend.” I didn’t think the grin on his face could get any wider until I heard him say that and I also couldn’t help but smirk at that, until I remembered the legacy the Iron Bull held among the Chargers. A round of laughter went up from the majority of those present which caused Zevran to puff up his chest a little, “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to use that. I once travelled with a Qunari who was named Sten, but most unfortunately he did not have any horns, although I have to admit, that is an impressive rack. Tell me, do they ever _get in the_ _way_ , if you know what I mean?” the grin turned into more of a leer and Bull merely shrugged,

“Sometimes, but they usually make for really great handles.” At the point when he started to stroke one, I could feel myself flush even more deeply than when Zevran was ‘making advances’ in the bedroom back in the manor. The elf in question laughed heartily at his response,

“I think you gave Lashes a rather vivid image with that stroking, no?” I froze and whipped my head around to face Zevran who was grinning from ear to ear. My spine straightened with indignation,

“I—you—stop putting words in my mouth and stop calling me that! It’s still a sensitive subject!” I retorted hotly, Bull and a few of the Chargers looked between me and the blonde elf who crossed his arms over his chest,

“Yes, I’m sure it was a terrible experience and you have my sympathy, but it happened and the scars are going to stay. So the sooner you’re able to laugh about it the faster you’ll get over it, right Lashes?” he stated bluntly and I very nearly drew my daggers and threw them at his head, but a rational part of my brain told me that he was right. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you.

“In other words, you’re not going to stop are you.”

“No, never.”

“Hah! Lashes! That’s a good one!” laughed a voice from the company and I sighed heavily,

“I hate you.” I deadpanned into the joyously grinning elf’s face.

From that point on, I tried to ignore him but it seemed that no matter where I went in the company, I was somehow able to overhear some essence of his conversation. According to Rocky, there was a ship waiting to take us to Orlais tonight which was fine with me because the sooner we got away from the dick head who ordered my kidnapping the better. I just really hoped that our newest ‘friend’ wouldn’t be tagging along with us. I don’t think I could handle having to fight him off for any longer than I already have…

On the plus side though, every single one of the Chargers seemed beyond pleased to have me back amongst their ranks. Everyone had patted me on the back at least once, all of them more gently than Bull, and there was talk of drinking and partying till the dawn once we got aboard the boat. Not one person seemed put out or disappointed at my return. The thought that I had been missed by these people I was beginning to call my friends filled me with so much joy I thought I was dreaming.

Once we approached the harbour, it was easy to tell which boat was waiting for us as it was the only one with lanterns lit all around the deck. It was a modest ship, nothing too special but it certainly wasn’t decrepit; it was a good size, I had no doubt that we would all fit comfortably within its hold. Although I had to admit, I definitely wasn’t looking forward to a long journey at sea. I had a slight tendency for sea sickness.

“It would appear that this is where we must part ways, my lady.” Zevran stated solemnly and I stopped to face him while the rest of the company boarded the ship. Gaelic was the last to go up the gangplank and gave the elven assassin a mistrustful glare as he did.

“You’re not coming with us?” I confirmed, since he’d walked this far, I’d just assumed he would be joining us. A small part of me was extremely thankful he wasn’t and another part twinged painfully knowing I would miss his unique sense of humor.

“Oh believe me, I would love to _come_ with you.” He teased and I rolled my eyes at the innuendo, but I couldn’t help the small smirk that tugged the corners of my lips up, “Alas, it appears that your impressive looking Qunari leader did not offer me a place, but that is alright. I don’t think I would be in very high standing with the Orlesians after what has happened here tonight.” He sobered up once more as he took my hand in his and looked deeply into my eyes, “May I also take this opportunity to ask for your forgiveness for kidnapping you? After seeing you with the Chargers, it is clear to me now that I was wrong to take you from them.”

“Fuck you.” I responded with a wide grin that said I was only kidding as I pulled my hand from his.

“Only if you’re offering.” Was his equally humorous response as we both shared a laugh. I punched him lightly in the shoulder, before I held my hand out for a handshake which he took immediately. Although it was more gripping my forearm than my hand…

“I hope I see you again Zevran.”

“Oh, I’m sure our paths will cross again, Lashes.” Then he pulled me into a hug, that I returned, “This is how friends say goodbye in Antiva.” He explained and I nodded my understanding; I suppose that made sense, hugs were a good way to show friendship. Then before I could do anything, I was being swooped down until I was facing up at him and once again he was stealing a kiss from me. I squawked indignantly and did my best to push him away, but seeing as he was also holding me up, I was very much in between a rock and a hard place. Although with any luck the _hard place_ wouldn’t be what I was thinking it was…

“You bastard!” I cried when he pulled away from me. That was when I realized he meant kissing was the way Antivan friends said goodbye, not hugs. He could only laugh at my distress; I can’t believe I said I wanted to see him again! A call from the boat to let me know they were waiting for me caught my attention and I started to take steps back towards the boat, “Bye, Zevran. I’ll see you later!” I called as I ran up the gangplank just as the crew members brought it up and pushed off from the dock.

“Goodbye, Arryn, we’ll meet again!” he called from the dock before he pulled his hood back up and disappeared into the night as we started to sail away.

* * *

 

Sometime later, I found myself sitting on the railing with Sophi’s backpack cradled in my lap. The silver diamond glinted in the moonlight against its black background. The paint had gotten chipped and scratched in places, but considering everything this backpack has gone through, it was still in relatively good condition. It went through a wormhole to a different dimension, the green colored hell basement, roughing it in a cave for a week or two, some sort of magical explosion, and then all I’ve put it through.

Although if I had to be honest with myself, the backpack didn’t mean as much as it once did.

It’s weird because after all the stuff that’s happened since I lost Sophi, really it should be the opposite, but this place is different than home. Here I don’t have the option of holding onto such sentimentality. Here I have to literally fight for my survival and so far I’ve technically been losing. It has only been thanks to the people I’m currently with that I’m not dead or a slave heading north on a ship bound for some other strange land that I’d know nothing about and no matter how much I wanted to, I don’t think I’ll ever go back home.

So if I wanted to survive here, I would need to let go of everything holding me back. I glanced down at the bag in my lap, and even though it hurt, that included the last reminder I had of Sophi.

“So this is where you snuck off to.” A deep voice rumbled,

“Jesus shit balls!” I cried as I jumped almost a foot in the air and nearly took a bath in the icy waters of… whatever body of water we were traversing. Thankfully, Bull had a long reach and he managed to grab my arm and prevent that from happening.

“Woah, that was an impressive jump. Too bad it almost landed you in the water.” He quipped humorously as he pulled me back up over the ledge and set me on my feet.

“Don’t sneak up on me like that!” I chastised the large horned man currently smirking down at me.

“I wasn’t sneaking, if you were paying more attention to your surroundings you would have noticed my approach.”

“Yeah, well, I was kind of busy with… other… things.” Was my lame response which of course piqued his interest.

“Oh like what?”

“Just that…” I put the backpack up on the railing and then folded my arms over my stomach. Sighing heavily, I stared at my biggest conundrum, “… if I want to survive here, I need to let go of my home. I need to focus on living here because the chances of me going back are so small that I don’t even want to think of the probability.” I swallowed thickly as a lump formed in my throat, “It also means I need to accept Sophi’s dead and I can’t keep carting her around with me like we’ll find her around the next tree.” My voice broke near the end of the sentence and I had to take a second to compose myself. Iron Bull kept quiet beside me during this moment of weakness and I was grateful for it, I hate showing weakness in front of people. “I was actually going to ask if you could help me with that.” Once I’d pulled myself back together, I looked up at the mercenary leader who was staring at me with what I could only identify as sympathy, I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, “I wouldn’t be able to perform a proper funeral from home for her since we don’t have a body so I was wondering if you could maybe help me with one that’s commonly done here? That way I’ll finally have closure for her death and hopefully be able to get over it sooner.”

“That’s pretty heavy, but as for a funeral, for the Qun it’s usually pretty simple. The Tamassrans burn the bodies and then all the members of the Antaam gather on the edge of a cliff and scatter the ashes on the wind while thanking them for their devotion to the Qun.” He paused for a moment when I’m sure he came to the same conclusion that I did, “Although Sophi never served the Qun and we don’t have her ashes, or a cliff for that matter.”

“No, but we do have this,” I grasped the backpack once again as I stepped towards the edge, “and we have the water to serve as the cliff. Now is there a non-Qun specific set of words you would be able to help me with?”

“I think I can come up with something, but are you sure about this? You know what you’ll be doing if you let her only memento go?” I nodded resolutely,

“Yes, I can’t afford to keep holding onto her like I have been.” I sighed again but this time I felt lighter, “I have to let go now before I get so dragged down by her memory that I can never move on.”

“Alright then, are you ready then?”

“Yeah.” I held the backpack over the water,

“ _Ataash varin kata,_ ” with numb fingers, I let the bag slip from my hands. The splash was lost in the sound of the waves, but I found it to be fitting seeing as this world would never miss the life of a girl who never belonged there anyways, “ _Asit tal-eb._ ” I did my best to contain the agony coursing through my heart with every beat it made. The wound that had slowly begun to heal, throbbed greatly but from what I could tell, it didn’t start to bleed again. A hand appeared on my shoulder and squeezed reassuringly, “Now she can rest in peace.” I nodded my agreeance as I breathed deeply to steady myself.

“What did you say?” I managed to ask once I trusted my voice enough,

“It translates to ‘in the end lies glory, this is the way things are meant to be’.”

“While there was no glory in her death, this is definitely how things are meant to be. Thank you, Chief.” A small smile pulled my lips upwards as I glanced back up to his face, “Hey everyone has a nickname in the Chargers right?”

“Yeah they do, I suppose we need to give you one as well since you’re one of us. Hmm, let’s see…” he brought his hand up to stroke his chin in thought, but I already had one I wanted to use.

“I want you to call me Lashes.” There was a beat of silence as he glanced back down to me with a look of bewilderment before it was gone in the next second with an calculating stare.

“You want a nickname after the whip scars on your back?”

“Yes, because while Zevran was a dick, he had a point. No one else will ever let me forget what they are and what they represent, so if I wear them like armor, no one will ever be able to hurt me with it ever again.” I paused for effect, “Arryn Mauntelle was who I was, a weak girl unable to take care of herself or her friend. Lashes is who I must become, she is strong and a member of the Bull’s Chargers able to fight beside an eight-foot horned man that she trusts with her life and a rag tag group of people she calls family.” I stood straight and held my head high as I addressed my fearless leader who was grinning like a proud father.

“Alright, Lashes, let’s see what you can do.”

* * *

**And this officially ends the Sophi dependency arc! Be ready for a bit of a timeskip chapter next time! Thanks for reading, and drop a comment with your thoughts if you'd like. I'd love to hear them!**


	11. Stars- Even If We Can't Find Heaven

**Hello and I'm so sorry about the lack of updates! I hit some really nasty writers block that I just couldn't get past but I'm back with a new chapter now and I really hope you all enjoy it! I added another cameo because I just couldn't resist the scenario at all, so I'm sorry but I'm not sorry :P**

**Stars- Arrows to Athens (awesome band check them out if you have the chance)**

**Stand by You- Rachel Platten**

* * *

 So apparently I had completely misjudged Gaelic. I thought for sure that he would be easy to work under, the lax and happy teacher that everyone loved because they never gave homework. The one who's class you could slack off in without much fear of retribution.

Oh how very wrong I was.

The next four weeks aboard the boat to Orlais were the worst weeks of my life and that was saying a lot considering what I'd had to do to survive on my own in a cave. Every morning I woke up sore, stiff and still tired from the day before. Did this earn me any sympathy or concern? Of course not. In fact, each time I complained, I would have extra exercises added to my workout for the day.

When I asked him what the point was to all this, he would only tell me to concentrate on what I was doing which ranged from strength training, endurance training, and the daily beat down. Or at least that's what I affectionately referred to it as, in actuality it was the part of the day where I learned how to fight by being beat over the head again and again and again until I worried I would have brain damage.

I learned quickly, however, and while my body wasn't always able to keep up with what my mind was doing, I improved steadily. By the end of the first week, I was able to successfully block several of his attacks consecutively. By the end of the second, I was beginning to see gaps purposefully left in Gaelic's defense for me to exploit and even had a few successful hits of my own. After the third, the sparring matches started to become more evenly matched and my teacher upped the difficulty level until I was once again back at square one. The fourth week, however, brought with it the culmination of the rest of my skills that I had been honing. My body now had the reflexes and the ability to keep up with my mind and react in time to what I was seeing. That was the very first time Gaelic had to fight me seriously, if only for a moment before I was put flat on my ass when I couldn't keep up with his skill for more than a couple blows.

That was when he told me that when I could beat him in a sparring match, he would tell me the story about how he'd lost his ears. Of course, the flip side of that coin was, if I challenged him and lost, I'd have to tell him what conspired between Zevran and myself the night they found me. That catch had me hesitating slightly before making the deal, but considering the reward if I won was to good to pass up. We shook on it before it was back to the grind.

Gaelic's lessons weren't the only ones I had to worry about either. Every night after supper, Bull would bring out maps and instruct me on the geography, borders, cultures, and religions of the world I'd come to know as Thedas. I had to admit, it definitely sounded like the name of a fictional world that would be featured in some sort of fantasy epic which only made me more excited to learn as much as I could about it.

He started with his homeland of Par Vollen where the Qunari, as well as the Qun, are from. The Qun, I'd come to learn, was very similar to communism that was present in my world. It placed the needs of the many above the needs of the individual and everyone had a specific place within its rigid structure. There were quite a few differences that didn't exist back on earth, of course, but they were just the icing on the cake in the grand scheme of things.

Next he moved on to Tevinter, with whom the Qunari had been squabbling with for as long as could be remembered. Now I finally had a face to put to the people who had caused me so much agony within the short amount of time that I'd been here. A bunch of egotistical, corrupt, power hungry mages who no doubt had no shortage of slaves in their households. My hatred boiled hot at every mention of those disgusting piles of filth.

Although that was also when I learned that Krem was in fact from Tevinter. For longer than I like to admit that caused me some distress. I did my best to avoid the second in command for the longest time because of this fact. Eventually, he cornered me though, and made me face the truth, not everyone from Tevinter was evil. That made me quite angry for a considerable amount of time afterwards, but deep down I knew it to be true. As Bull put it bluntly, "there is a difference between being Tevene, and a 'Vint rat" after that, there was no more room for argument and I was given the ultimatum that if I couldn't work along side who was from somewhere I didn't like, then I was welcome to leave. No surprise which choice I took, but while I didn't blame Krem for the crimes the 'Vints had committed against me and Sophi, my loathing only continued to grow. I would never forgive them, ever.

Of course, like I'd promised, I also told Iron Bull about Earth. I told him of everything from motors, electricity that was harnessed for energy purposes, and indoor plumbing. The large horned man was completely blown away by the concept of a toilet that gets rid of waste at the simple pull of a lever. Seriously, I could pinpoint the exact moment when his brain imploded. It was a moment I looked back on fondly.

Despite the pain that I endured whilst on the ship, the time passed quickly and practically before I knew it, we were landing somewhere called Val Royeaux. From what I remember, it was a beautiful city with white marble buildings and red banners hanging from the tops and connecting to a tall spire in the middle of the market. We ended up staying there quite a while when it was realized I needed a set of armor and after my still vibrant (albeit slightly grown out) blue and green hair started to draw too much attention, a trip to the local tailor was also needed to outfit all my tunics with deeps hoods to hide it. While we were there I also took the opportunity to order myself a pair of new boots from the partnering cobbler, I had to admit, I'd really liked the thigh high boots Zevran had been wearing and I wanted a pair for myself if I could. Gaelic was kind enough to offer to pay for them for me since I had no money of my own and I could just pay him back on my first share of our next job.

A few days after our arrival, a job opportunity presented itself. Apparently there was a noble in the city who was rivalling with another and supposedly this rival had learned his death was to 'come on feathered wings'. The Chief laughed heartily when he read what the noble wanted of us. I guess he wanted us to dress up in feathers and… scare this other noble to death. A round of laughter went up once the rest of us heard what the job was, but the worst part was the Boss actually accepted it. Most of the laughter stopped after that.

So that was how the majority of us ended up dressed in discarded bird feathers wandering around the estate of this other lord. It was deeply humiliating and I was glad that the cover of darkness hid my face from any who might have been out at the late hour. The pay was good though, so it was mostly worthwhile, I suppose…

Thankfully, it was soon after that the armor Gaelic had helped me commission was completed and we were able to go pick it up. True to what the armor maker said, it fit me perfectly. I had gotten a breastplate that protected my upper chest all the way to my neck but left my lower stomach only covered in a layer of soft, malleable leather to allow optimal movement needed for a rogue; pauldrons covered my shoulders but were layered to collapse in on each other to, again, provide optimum movement; leather vambraces covered my wrists to give some protection from other's weapons and they came with a matching set of brown leather gloves with an inside so soft I couldn't believe it, there were small metal patches sewn onto the back of the hand and in between the joints of the fingers to once again provide protection against injury. The best part was yet to come, however, when my boots had been completed, Gaelic had also taken them to the blacksmith who then put interlocking pieces of metal that acted as something similar to greaves, only all the way up my leg to my thigh. Needless to say they are my favorite part of the whole outfit.

Of course, like we agreed, I went to repay my teacher for all he had bought for me. This was when I learned that Gaelic had a gambling problem. Instead of happily taking my money, he offered me a double or nothing chance at a game of Wicked Grace. I agreed only if the double also included him paying me if I won, like I figured he would, he accepted.

Unfortunately, while I had been taught the basics of the game, I was far from being a master and predictably, I lost. Bitterly, I coughed up double what I originally owed the blonde elf and saved the rest for use later.

The days after that all once again took on a very similar routine. Gaelic had toned down my training while we had been in Val Royeaux, but once we left the city, he started up even more rigorously than before. Although it was strange this time because I distinctly noticed that my body was significantly less sore than all the times before. I had become accustomed to waking up early and to be awake immediately.

Gaelic once again had to up the difficulty level when I started to gain the upper hand on him frequently when we sparred. More often than not he would put me on my ass, but after another couple weeks on the road, he fought at full strength against me and I was able to hold my ground for a rapidly increasing amount of time. This was also when I realized I had a knack for detecting where people using the invisible 'stealth' ability planned to strike.

It happened during one of my final battles with the blonde elf when I suddenly broke off our battle to parry a knife that was descending into my back. After that I followed through with the motions and stabbed upwards. I had the horrifying opportunity to see blood start to coat one of my daggers in mid air with nothing surrounding it, until the rogue appeared suddenly. There was no time to dwell on it before my instincts screamed at me to move. Pulling my blade from the now dead body, I shifted deftly backwards and continued to flow through heavily practiced movements that allowed me to evade my attacker with ease. Then with an action I'd rehearsed many times with Gaelic, I stepped past their defense and effortlessly slipped my knife up into where I sensed was their chest.

The gravity of what I'd just done truly sunk in at that moment as the second body hit the ground with a wet splat as blood sprayed up from the gaping hole leading straight to the organ that in its final moments continued to spurt blood out of the cavity it called home. Flashes of the Tevinter woman whom I'd first killed flashed in front of my face with her dead unblinking, accusatory stare. I did it again. I'd murdered not one but two people. I was a monster. How could I have done this? How could I have _practiced_ for this? I wasn't cut out for this, I would never be cut out for this!

Before I could do anything else, I had been pulled into a hug with my head against a warm chest. As far as I know, the skirmish ended with me killing those two people but I couldn't be sure as the next thing I knew was I was being directed somewhere. It was only after I heard the rustle of canvas that I'd realized I was now inside one of the tents.

"You're safe now, don't worry. Everything's going to be alright, we still love you." I hadn't realized how much I needed to hear those words until Gaelic murmured them lowly. I felt a knot loosen somewhere in my chest and the tears made wet trails down my cheeks as I sobbed deeply into my friend's shirt. I don't recall how long I cried, but I do know that the next thing I remember was waking up in an unfamiliar tent with a blanket draped carefully over me.

The days really blurred together after that and I don't truly remember a lot of what happened. There were some jobs that came and went. Most involved some sort of fighting and this time I was finally allowed to join the rest. I had to hold back though and I refused to kill anyone, at most, I would only incapacitate them. Now I had a pretty good knowledge of where the vital points were on the body, so I did my best to avoid them.

This of course didn't go unnoticed, especially when the Chief put me on throat cutter duty. I'd expected Gaelic to help me, but he merely stood back with the explanation that "it's part of the job, I'm sorry Lashes". Somehow, I managed to complete the task although I threw up immediately after and felt sick for the rest of the day.

It figures the next day I stayed violently ill. I had a fever that made me delirious and slightly hallucinogenic. Anything I ate came right back up only a few minutes later and I developed a rash on my arms and chest. Stitches stayed with me night and day to keep an eye on me to make sure that I wouldn't die again. Or at least, I think he did but I couldn't be sure when I was constantly seeing people whether or not they were actually there.

Thankfully this time, I didn't die and began recovering after a few days of intense sickness. My appetite came back and I was able to keep more solid foods down. Once I was well enough to be up and about, Stitches informed me that I'd come down with the most severe case of pox he'd ever seen. Combined with the last time I'd gotten sick, I highly doubted it was a coincidence. The obvious explanation would be that my immune system is lacking the natural resistance to the diseases here but it could also be something else that I was currently unaware of. Either way, it was a serious pain in the ass…

Once I was back to full health and at the top of my game again, I decided I was finally ready to challenge Gaelic to that duel he promised me.

* * *

 Block,

slash,

parry,

stab!

Our battle had garnered quite the crowd as we relentlessly traded blows, our skill completely matched. Every strike I made, he blocked easily while I dipped and dodged around each one of his with equal ease. My one advantage was that I was faster and could land more hits than he could block in a short amount of time, but I had to time it well or it would cost me the duel.

Bets had been placed on who would win, a couple of which I had made myself and was pleased to see that the odds were in my favor. I really needed some extra cash too, there was a two handed sword in town that was calling my name. Krem had offered to give me some pointers if I bought it.

A pommel made its way through my defense to land heavily on my leg while my mind was wandering to other things. A collective groan went up from the crowd as I stumbled backwards to avoid the consecutive hits I had no doubt were coming.

"Come on Lashes, are you even trying?" taunted the blonde elf ass I regained my bearings and reassumed my ready stance. That was also when I noticed the log lying innocently behind him, I grinned, and the way he was standing in front of it said that he didn't realize it was there.

"Trying? I was just getting warmed up!" I responded confidently before I leapt into my next set of attacks. Steadily, I picked up the pace until I clearly had him on the defensive and pushed him back closer to the fallen tree. As my speed increased, Gaelic was less and less able to successfully block or parry my blows. His brow furrowed with concentration while he tried and failed to keep up with me and was instead forced backwards as I continued to press my advantage over him. Cheers went up from the bystanders but I refused to let them distract me as my speed increased further and it was all Gaelic could do to keep himself away from my blades.

With his next step, the elf was close enough to the log that with one last burst of speed, I pushed him back enough that he went to take another step, he tripped. I saw the look of realization and fear dawn on his face as he went down ass over teakettle. There was silence among everyone present as I put my foot on his stomach to prevent him from getting back up.

"Do you yield?" I panted as sweat dripped from my brow and my exhausted opponent splayed his arms out from his body as he continued to lay flat on the ground.

"I yield." Was his defeated response and a wide grin stretched over my features as I removed my foot and offered him a hand up from his ridiculous position. As I pulled him up we were suddenly surrounded by the rest of the company who were congratulating me with hearty slaps on the back and arms slung around my shoulders. Gaelic got a few reassuring pats and playful punches to the shoulder at his loss but judging from the grin on his face, he wasn't taking the loss too hard.

"Alright, Rocky, pay up." Stitches demanded of the dwarf in our group and that got the blonde's attention,

"Did you bet on her?" the dark skinned man grinned widely,

"Of course I did. I would be labelled a fool if I hadn't." He raised the considerably sized bag of gold up in a salute to me which I accepted with a wave. Then I got the satisfaction of watching the blonde boy look from me to Stitches and back to me again with a look of utter betrayal on his face.

"Well, at least the Chief bet on me!" he cried proudly and puffed up his chest. The crowd parted to let through the hulking figure of The Iron Bull, the leader of our mercenary gang, an eight-foot-tall Qunari who was now scowling (although not seriously) down at Gaelic.

"Yeah, and I lost so clearly now you owe me ten Royals." The large humanoid quipped as he crossed his monstrous arms over his equally monstrous chest. Another round of laughter went up before everyone dispersed back to their original duties although not before I made sure to collect my share of my winnings. Perfect! Now I had enough for that sword! "Good work, Lashes you've come a long way from being the helpless, half-starved waif we found on the Storm Coast." Bull congratulated me and I filled with pride with the high praise coming from someone who I so looked up to. "Drinks are on me tonight, to celebrate!" was the announcement and a raucous cheer went up all around.

* * *

 Later that night, with the Chief buying the booze, we were all having a grand time in the tavern causing quite the ruckus. Most of the regular patrons were giving us shifty glances and eying us warily, but we were too deep in our glasses to care much. Plus, we weren't even the shadiest characters there. At one table there was a group of guys who switched from eyeing up our leader, to our non-mage Dalish and at a corner there was someone who had refused to even lower his hood after coming into the building. Although I didn't have much room to complain about that since I too had a hood up. Obviously he was hiding something.

In that short amount of time that I'd gotten distracted by the other patrons, however, apparently there was now an arm wrestling match going on around the table. A very inebriated Gaelic had challenged an equally inebriated Rocky and to no one's surprise, the dwarf won. Everyone who bet collected their winnings as the blonde elf pouted on the table.

"Well at leasht I can shtill beat Lershes!" he proclaimed proudly and I felt my pride perk up at that.

"No way, man. I fucking got this." I took the seat across from him and stared him down confidently, "Winner fights Krem." I challenged him as we gripped each others' hands. I'm pretty sure I heard a groan of 'Don't drag me into this' but it was lost in the heat of the moment. Gaelic was stronger than he looked and I felt I put up a good fight, but in the end it was my hand that hit the worn wood of the table.

"Fuck yea!" cried the elf and nearly fell off his chair in celebration. I laughed at him as I stood up to allow our Lieutenant to take my place. At the arrival of Krem Gaelic sobered up some, "Shit, right..." A round of laughter went up as more bets were placed. I had an extra chuckle when I noticed everyone bet on Krem to win.

"Winner takes the Chief on." A low hum went up and everyone was suddenly that much more interested with the prospect of Bull being the next one to wrestle. The second after the competition commenced, there was a moment where nothing happened and I started to question whether or not either one of them was trying. That is, until I saw the strain appear on the blonde's face. A vein popped in his forehead and his lips turned up in a snarl. That was when I realized just how far outmatched he was in comparison to the brown haired man. Then after another moment or two of humiliation for the elf, Krem slammed his hand down onto the table without any mercy whatsoever.

An low cheer went up when the predicted outcome came true and increased in volume when our fearless leader took Gaelic's place across the table from Krem. More money was exchanged between people and we waited with anticipation. The obvious choice to win would be Bull but something in my gut told me that it might be the second in command coming out on top of this. When it started, the strain was instantly visible on both of their faces. For a good moment or two near the beginning it really looked like the human would win, but then the Qunari really flexed those impressive arm muscles and steadily brought Krem's hand down until it finally touched the table.

Everyone raised their mugs in celebration as more coin was collected and lost all around. Our lieutenant got a few hearty slaps on the back in reconciliation but judging by the smile that was present on his face, he was taking the loss really well.

"You couldn't have been a bit more gentle, Chief? That was my sword arm."

"Hey, you're the one who challenged me, remember? No one wins an arm wrestle against The Iron _Fucking Bull_!" he bellowed for all to hear as he raised his arms above his head and assumed a bodybuilder flexing pose. I was suddenly reminded of a fictional character I used to love who would always talk about the beauty of his muscles and how everything had been passed down though his family for generations!

"I believe I can." A deep voice snapped me out of my reverie and we all turned to see the hooded man from the corner standing in front of our table. As we all turned to look at him, a gloved hand reached up to remove the deep hood to reveal the face of an elf.

He had short white hair that was just long enough to get in the way of his green eyes (I humorously noted that I bet he had to do a little hair flip to keep it out of them) with dark, slim brows over each of them and white tattoos on his chin and all the way down his neck. I was immediately thrown off by the combination of the voice and the face. They didn't suit each other at all. There was silence all around as we stared him down with disbelief. "In fact, ten royals says I can." He pulled a large purse from a bag hanging on his belt and it landed with a jingling promise on the solid wood of the table. There was one more beat of silence before Bull let out a booming laugh,

"Alright, kid you're on!" the large Qunari acquiesced as he sat in the seat Krem had vacated and gestured to the free chair for the elf. At this point I noticed that there was in fact a very large sword strapped to his back. I shifted slightly so I had better access to the daggers strapped to my back, I didn't want to be caught unawares if this suddenly turned ugly. Who knew how well this kid would take to losing?

Everyone else also put money on the table, eager for a chance to win some good money against the elf so foolishly betting against himself like that. I was one of the few who abstained from making any more bets. If only because I had no money left to risk due to the wrapped, two-handed sword leaning against the wall beside me.

As the elf took the offered hand of our leader there was a moment when the size difference between them was almost too much to handle and I let out an involuntary snicker. The green eyes of the white haired stranger flicked over to me for a brief second before he once again concentrated on his much larger opponent. Krem was the one to give the go and once he did, the struggle was instantly evident on the smaller man's face, but an unnerving smirk remained. I started to pull my weapons from their sheaths as a precaution in case this turned ugly. Obviously the elf had something up his sleeve and I didn't like it.

Then just as his hand was getting close to the table, suddenly a blue light exploded from his body and a resounding crack echoed throughout the silent tavern as Bull's hand slammed onto the wood.

Everyone stared in shock as the Chief jumped up with a shout and shook out his hand. The elf, however, smirked in victory and watched with satisfaction as the larger man rubbed his slightly sore appendage. I watched the stranger carefully as he stood and grasped the handle of the large sword protruding from underneath his volumous cloak that had once hidden his identity. Obviously, he didn't expect this to end well but all of us were too stunned (or drunk in Gaelic's case) to really do anything about it. Plus, we all knew better than to act without orders from our leader who was looking from his hand to the other man and then did something that clearly the elf was not expecting,

"That was badass! How did you do that?" the large Qunari man asked excitedly like a little kid seeing his new favorite toy in the store, "Sit down, let me buy you a drink! Get to know The Iron Bull and The Chargers! You looking for work?" clearly the elf had not been expecting this kind of reaction and was rather looking at a loss for words as he continued to stand there with his hand resting on the hilt of his weapon.

"Ignore our Chief, he can get overzealous at times. My name's Cremisius Aclassi, I'm second in command of our merc band known as The Bull's Chargers." Our lieutenant held out a hand for the newcomer to shake which he did but with obvious confusion, "Over there's Stitches our healer, with Dalish sitting beside him; Rocky our dwarven explosives expert, Grim one of our warriors, he doesn't say much; Skinner, don't let your guard down around her or she'll rob you blind; Lashes our newest recruit, and the blonde, drunken idiot over there is Gaelic." Krem introduced all of us and I noticed the white haired elf's eyes stayed on me for a moment longer than anyone else but I assumed that was mostly because he likely had trouble actually seeing my face, "What should we call you, stranger?"

"Fenris." Was his hesitant response as he finally dropped his hand from the handle of his sword to once again take his seat. Unfortunately, that was when I felt the heavy head of Gaelic land on my shoulder, I knew that it was time to go. Obviously, he had had too much to drink already and he was clearly in no state to find his room by himself.

"Well that's that, Gaelic's had too much to drink as per usual." I pushed the mumbling elf off me and pulled him up by the arm while also carefully picking up the wrapped sword to bring with me to my own room. He was a little unsteady on his feet, but thankfully he managed to balance after a few seconds. "Come on, you can do it. Up the stairs now, Gaelic. There you go." I encouraged him as he drunkenly stumbled across the room and to the steps leading up into the inn at the back of the building. I heard calls of goodnight and others of a less… innocent nature which I ignored, clearly they did not know the brother/sister relationship Gaelic and I shared.

Once upstairs, I helped the blonde find the correct door that led into the room that had been rented for our stay here. Inside, he unbuckled his belt that held all of his weapons and I had to rush to catch them before they clattered carelessly to the floor. He slumped over to the bed and sat heavily on it, reaching for the mug sitting on the nightstand, he took a long gulp. I really hope that was water…

"I suppose I still owe you the story of my ears then…" he stated morosely with a heavy sigh as he put the cup back and stared balefully up at me.

"Gaelic, you don't have to tell me now."

"No, you won, that was the deal. Plus, if anyone, you deserve to know…" another heavy sigh escaped him as he reached up to stroke the curved ear that should have identified him as an elf, but instead labelled him as a human. "I was kidnapped from my alienage in Denerim by Tevinter slavers looking for easy prey, and under the impression that they would be able to get more money for me if I looked human, heated up a blade until it was red hot and cut my ears off." He sighed heavily again as he avoided my gaze determinedly. I was speechless at his story, hearing that someone cut off the majority of his ears nearly made me sick with sympathetic pain. "It was the most painful experience of my life and I don't remember much of what happened afterwards until the fighting that distracted my kidnappers long enough for me to escape in the chaos of the city, as you heard from when I told Zevran back at the Lord Rye-Cum's mansion." The sobriety of the situation made his complete mispronunciation of that dick-bag's name slide by without so much as a twitch of a smile. "It was a few days later when I'd joined a group of refugees fleeing the Blight that we were set upon by Darkspawn and saved by The Iron Bull and the Chargers who came rushing in at the last minute to save those that had survived until that point." Finally, a smile broke through and I started to feel better. It would seem that we were birds of a feather, both captured by Vints at some point and then saved by the Chief at another. "I joined the mercenary group shortly after that, and of course the rest is history."

"Thank you for telling me Gaelic." Was my emotional response and he looked back to me with eyes filled with unshed tears and a small smile present on his face which I returned. He reached for the mug again and took another long drag out of it and grimaced heavily. The smile faded from my face as I took it from his grip and smelled the contents. The heavy scent of alcohol filled my nose and I turned back to him with a reprimanding glare,

"Haven't I already said you've had enough for tonight? What are you doing drinking more?!" I demanded as I confiscated the liquor from him. He tried to argue with me, but I refused to take part and instead turned on my heel and headed back for the door. I grabbed my sword on my way our, "I'm bringing you back some water, then you're going to sleep and that's final or Krem will hear about this." I scolded him and watched his mouth which had been flapping for some sort of excuse, slammed shut at my threat. I grinned triumphantly as the door shut behind me with a final click of the latch.

* * *

**I hope you liked it! Leave me a comment with your thoughts if you'd like, I'd love to hear them!**


	12. Stars- I'll Walk Through Hell with You

**Hello, I'm so sorry about the delay for this chapter, but life and school has caught up with me and is severely limiting my writing time. To make up for it though, I have the longest chapter to date for you to read! It's over 7000 words!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

 The next morning, I was practicing with my new sword against Krem who was giving me a few quick lessons on the best way to hold it and position my body so that the new weight wouldn't throw me off balance. To be honest though, it wasn't as heavy as I thought it would be. Maybe it was because it was a weapon I could use my whole body to wield, or maybe because I was just naturally getting stronger? Either were likely options but I wouldn't be surprised if it was also a combination of both.

We were to meet at this point just outside of the town so we could coordinate our attack on the people kidnapping villagers and by the sounds of it, they were 'Vints. The Chief supposedly had some spy info on them and that was the whole reason we were still in this town. I have to say I was a little more than excited to show them the monster they'd created. In my distracted state I swung wildly and threw myself off balance. With a cry of surprise, the weight dragged me down and with a spectacular clatter I fell flat on my ass, the sword crashing to the ground beside me.

"Are you alright?" Krem asked as he held out a hand to help me up which I took gratefully as I rubbed the sore spot on my hip from where I'd landed.

"I'm fine, although I suppose I can't say the same for my pride…" was my response as I hefted the sword back up onto my shoulder. The brown haired man smirked before the arrival of another person got our attention. Much to my surprise, it wasn't anyone from the Chargers. Instead, it was the elf we'd met last night in the tavern. Fernis? Frenis? Fenris, that's it. This is of course when I also remembered that I didn't have my hood up and my blue-green gradient was on full display. So naturally, he was staring at me. Drawing myself up to my full height, I met his gaze evenly and turned to face him fully shifting the heavy sword on my shoulder, "Maybe you should paint a picture, it'll last longer." I snapped.

"My apologies, I do not mean to stare." The elf apologized as I pulled up my hood up to cover the bright hues, "How did you achieve such color? Was it some sort of magical experiment by a mage?" I put the great sword onto my back where the magnet to carry it was located. The weight once again put me off balance but I did my best to compensate for it as I turned to the white haired elf, whom I was already generating a poor opinion of, and gave him my full attention,

"I dyed it, there was no magic." Was my deadpan reply. He blinked once in surprise before he regarded me with suspicion, I assume he believed I was lying to him but I didn't care. Maybe the old me would have, but I wasn't here to make anyone happy but myself and those that I care about. Nowadays, that was a very small circle of people.

"Where did you acquire such dyes? I have never seen their like anywhere across Thedas." Fenris pressed and I found myself growing impatient. I wasn't in the mood for an interrogation about something so trivial and about something that was none of his business. I was about to respond as such when our not-mage elf of the group stepped to my side. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she stared down the other tattooed elf. I was pleasantly surprised to see that Dalish was in fact taller than the newcomer, it wasn't by a whole lot, but it was enough to give her an added edge against the other elf.

"It would seem that the Little Wolf is curious about our young Lashes, but do these questions serve any purpose for you?" she rested her staff—sorry _bow_ — in her arms as she stared down the male in question, "There have been others who have been interested in her hair, and it has never ended well." I could hear the underlying threat in Dalish's words and I watched as Fenris's eyebrows drew together in a 'V' shape. Although if it was at the veiled threat, or the nickname she had called him, I'd had to hide a smile when she called him what she did. I made a mental note to ask Dalish why she called him 'Little Wolf'.

"I assure you, I have no ulterior motives towards anyone in your group. I am merely here to extend the offer of my help in exterminating the Tevinter group in this area." His hands were raised in a peaceful stance as he narrowed his eyes at the elf standing protectively in front of me like a mother fiercely protecting her young from a hungry predator. In fact, at this point, I noticed that Krem had come up on my opposite side and was resting with his hand on the pommel of his sword. Rocky had placed himself behind Fenris and was handling a small, round object that I had no doubt was one of his explosives.

"If that's the case, follow me and I'll take you to the Chief. He'll inform you of our plan and where we can fit you in; he should be over here somewhere," Our second in command gestured to the white haired stranger who made to follow him after giving the rest of us one last mistrustful stare, "Lashes, don't forget about that stance. Balance is key when you're swinging around a weapon that weighs more than you do." And to push his point home, he gave me a small shove that in fact compromised my frail stability and sent me careening backwards. Everyone standing around had a quick chuckle as I flailed wildly to keep my balance only to comically fall flat on my back.

"God-fucking-damn it Krem!" I wheezed as I did my best to avoid the sharp blade that was now between my body and the ground. Dalish was the first to offer me a hand up which I gratefully took. Fortunately, I was unable to escape injury as I got pulled back onto my feet. I continued to mumble rude things under my breath about our lieutenant and where he could stick his stances. The white haired woman just chuckled musically at my distress,

"Just make sure not to forget for next time." I nodded my agreement, with Krem there was little room for excuses on not getting something done. That was something that I'd learned the hard way, it wasn't a fond memory. It was also at that moment when Rocky decided to join our conversation, the round ball that he'd had in his hand before was now safely tucked away in his pockets again.

"There's something about him that I just don't trust. Maybe it's that pretty boy face…" our dwarf companion muttered and I couldn't help but snicker,

"You're right, he does have that teenager heartthrob look going pretty hard. I wouldn't be surprised if he played guitar and was in a boyband." There was a beat of silence where I realized I'd just said that out loud before both the elven woman and Rocky started to chuckle,

"Still crazy as ever I see, Lashes." Was his response as he turned and walked away to where the majority of the group seemed to be gathering. Although there was one head in particular that I noticed was missing. Gaelic was no where to be seen, which I thought to be odd. Maybe he was still hungover from last night. Either way if he wasn't out here in the next ten minutes, I was going back to the inn to get him.

"Has anyone seen Gaelic?" I asked Dalish who was the only one still standing near me anymore. There was a look of surprise before she glanced around the gathering of people.

"He doesn't appear to be here, but it is unlike him to sleep in. Perhaps he is unwell, Gaelic did overindulge last night. Someone should check and make sure he is all right." The elf suggested and I nodded my agreement. Shifting the sword across my back until it was comfortably balanced, I made my way to the center of the gathering where I had no doubt I would find the Chief. Just as I started to push my way through the crowd to get where I could see the two horns of the Qunari we called our leader, a familiar voice carried above the din of activity.

"Nobody panic! I'm here now, you can all stop your worrying." Gaelic announced to the group and I felt a vein pop in my forehead. The grin on his face irritated me to no end since I had in fact been quite worried about him. To the point where I was actually going to go look for him. With fire in my eyes and thunder in my steps, I stomped my way up to the blonde elf. When I was only a few steps away, he spotted me and the smile slipped slightly but was immediately replaced with one that was clearly fake.

"Where have you been?! I was just about to go looking for your tardy ass!" I lectured him as he nervously glanced around to see who all was watching this rather extravagant display of fury. There must have been a fair few when he brought his hands up to try and calm me down, unfortunately it had the opposite effect, "You had me worried that something had happened or I was going to find you throwing up into someone's laundry hanging out to dry!" I heard a few snickers go up from the crowd at that accusation, mainly because it had happened once before.

"I just overslept, nothing to stress over. I'm sorry that I worried you, Lashes." Reaching into his back pocket, he pulled out a book, "Would it help if I said I also brought a peace offering?" there was a beat of silence as I regarded the cover. There was a picture of a mage in armor with black hair and a red streak across their nose and something about "Kirkwall" whatever the hell that was. No wait! It was a city; I remember it now. Somewhere in the Free Marches I think it was. As I continued to stare at the book, Gaelic slowly waved it in front of my face and chuckled when my eyes followed it. That brought me out of my trance as I snatched the book from his grasp with a scowl, "I knew you'd forgive me." He grinned widely,

"Whatever." I scoffed but it was only half hearted

"You better be careful, Lashes. Otherwise we might start to think you care about that sod." The teasing voice of Krem rose above the silence I had created before everyone started to chuckle. Most of all was the rumbling thunder of the Chief, it was extremely difficult to miss his deep laughter. I stuck my tongue out at all of them.

"Now that everyone is here, it's time to lay down the groundwork. Gaelic, Lashes get over here you need to be a part of this." And just like that, it was back to business. We all crowded around the small table that had been set up. On it there was a detailed map of this area of Orlais with several markers made to represent our forces and the enemy's. Although from the look of things, we were going to be outnumbered.

"Alright, so from what my sources say, the group of 'Vints should be holed up in this area here." He pointed to a large canyon that had cliffs on one side and a large river on another and trees on the last. It would be a perfect place for an ambush as there was only one viable route of escape. A tremor started up in my limbs as adrenaline began to pump itself through my system. My scars tingled with anticipation and a hand absentmindedly rubbed my back to try and alleviate the slight discomfort it caused. At this point I felt a pair of eyes on me and I glanced up to see the silver tattooed elf staring at me with curiosity.

My hand dropped back to my side as I returned his gaze with a suspicious one of my own. I didn't like how he stared at me like I was some sort of abnormality. With a flick of my wrist, my hood fell around my shoulders once again revealing my vibrantly colored hair which I then sectioned and started to braid. The last thing I wanted was it getting in my eyes while we were fighting. His eyes dropped away after that and I allowed myself a slight smirk of triumph as I directed my attention back to the table.

From what I could tell, it looked like we would be making a pincher maneuver. Some would wait in the trees while the main force would attack from the front and drive the enemy into the woods where we would be lying in wait for them. It sounded pretty standard to me, only this time it looked like I would be in a different group from Gaelic.

"The backup group will consist of five groups of two. They'll be in charge of making sure none of these 'Vint assholes get away. Skinner, you're with Grimm; Dalish, you're with Krem…" The Chief then went on to list the pairings and I found myself surprised when I realized I would not be partnered with anyone I was familiar with, "And Lashes, you'll be with Fenris who has offered his skills in cleaning out this rat's nest. It goes without saying that Krem is in charge of the secondary group, while I lead the main charge. Now let's go show these 'Vint assholes who's boss, horns up!" he cried and raised his weapon to the sky. We all followed suit with an equally enthusiastic shout.

* * *

 Turns out it was in fact quite the distance from our current position and we had to travel a fair distance to get where we needed to go. The day was spent in relative silence on my part since Gaelic had given me a new book, which I later found out was also in fact, written by my favorite author. I'd already gone through _Swords and Shields_ a good few times and was deeply deprived for more material. The difficulty to access certain things like books, or entertainment in general was frustrating. Although once I had grown more accustomed to how this world worked, that feeling had lessened slightly. I did still miss the internet though, maybe that could be the next thing that I tell Bull about…

Without any warning whatsoever, I was forced out of the pages I was reading to dodge the knife that whistled past my head. Deftly I unsheathed one of my own daggers and parried the next few slashes while I shoved my new book into a pocket to draw a second weapon. Gaelic grinned proudly as we began to trade blows equally between one another. The extra weight on my back threw off my balance slightly but I refused to let it break my concentration as I sparred against my teacher.

As expected, he was no longer holding back any of his strikes and if I missed or struck wrong, I would be injured. Our battle drew only a small amount of attention from the Chargers. Most were used to these impromptu training lessons and only paid enough attention to keep away from the deadly weapons flying through the air at increasingly high speed. The only one who seemed deeply concerned was the newcomer when out of the corner of my eye I saw him ready his own weapon. Krem was quick to reassure him that this was normal and there was no real danger involved, as long as he didn't get caught in the crossfire that is. After that, he seemed to relax only slightly, perhaps he didn't trust me to keep my blades under control, but I would show him just how competent I was.

Then Gaelic threw in a twist that he'd never done before.

In a cloud of black smoke, he disappeared.

My heart stopped for a second when I realized what he'd done. He'd used a stealth ability. I'd never tried to fight anyone from invisibility without going in for the kill when my instincts told me at the last moment where the person was. My heart began to race and my hands shake with adrenaline pumping through my system but I knew I had to calm myself. If I didn't, I ran the risk of killing Gaelic just out of reflex like I'd done twice before now already.

I took a deep breath as I tried to calm my galloping heart rate. Just be calm. I can't rely on my eyes for this one, so I closed them. The rest of the company had given us some room after he disappeared so I didn't have to worry about hitting one of them accidentally which was a relief. I strained my ears for any sound that wasn't just the rhythmic crunching of gravel underfoot as people walked. There… to my left a shift in the air ever so slight that I wouldn't have ever noticed it had I not been paying attention.

I brought my daggers up just in time to parry the blow that had been aimed for my chest and then carrying through with the motion, I twisted his blades out of his grip and put one of my own underneath where his chin would be. Opening my eyes, I was greeted with only the sight of empty air a moment before the blonde elf's face appeared out of thin air with a gigantic grin plastered on it.

A round of cheers went up from those who had paid enough attention to watch. The exception to the exuberance was of course the broody looking elf but that came as little surprise. It seemed like it would take a lot more than the small success of someone he didn't know to get him to crack a smile. I refused to let him sour my mood, however and turned my attention back to those who were happy for me.

"I don't think there's anything else I can teach you Lashes. You're officially on par with me if not better. You even managed to compensate for the awkward weight on your back. At this point I have nothing left to teach you beyond trap making and tracking. You learned amazingly quickly." At his gracious admonition he grinned widely and ruffled my hair which he knows I hate.

"Stop that!" Playfully I swatted his hand away which ended up knocking my hood down, this time I let it stay down. There wasn't really a reason to keep my hair hidden right now anyways, we're in the middle of nowhere after all, "I'm not that good yet, you can still kick my ass if you want to." I insisted and Gaelic only smiled and shook his head before walking off to talk to Skinner about something. That was when I felt like I was being watched.

One look back to the brooding elf of our group made me slightly rethink my original thought on leaving my uniquely colored hair uncovered until I resolved that I couldn't hide it just because his gaze made me uncomfortable. If he had something to say, I was going to make him say it. I was tired of this stupid charade. Sheathing my daggers, I sauntered back up to the tattooed man as I took my book back out from the pocket I'd hastily stashed it in before Gaelic attacked me.

"Look, if you have something to say I suggest you spit it out. I don't like being stared at." I demanded from him and I watched as Fenris crossed his arms over his chest as he regarded me with a heavily guarded stare.

"You do not have the air of someone who has seen much battle let alone death. How is it that your training is complete already?"

"The rest is up to me now. How else do you become battle-hardened if you don't fight?" I ignored the part about death since I hoped that I would never be faced with a situation where I would have to kill someone again.

"I suppose that's true, but are you prepared for what we might face ahead?"

"I will never not be ready to fight Tevinter bastards." Just the name brought up a boiling rage in my veins that refused to cool for hours after it was set aflame.

"Even if it's likely that some of your friends may die? Tevinter is ruthless, they will stop at nothing until they alone rule everything." His cold statement instantly cooled the flames of my rage as that real possibility sunk in. he was right, there was absolutely no guarantee that everyone would walk away after we were done here, but I couldn't let that thought weigh me down. The Chief had gotten us through everything before, to lose faith in him now would only look bad on me.

"We'll make it through this. As long as the Bull's leading his Chargers there's nothing to fear. I trust him with my life, as does everyone else in this camp." I defended the honor of our leader against his skepticism. Who was he to judge our Chief's leading capacity when he hadn't even had a single battle with him yet.

"I don't know how you can be so sure but if you insist on living in your naïve little world, I won't stop you." With that last statement, he walked off leaving me alone with my thoughts. Slightly put off, I began to read my book once again. I had just been getting to a good part before Gaelic had insisted that we spar. The chapter was titled ' _Bait and Switch_ ' so I was quite curious as to where it was going to go. As my eyes scanned the description of the new character, I felt them widen into saucers and before I could even think about regulating what I was going to say, it slipped out rather loudly.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" I screeched and whipped my head back up from the pages to stare wide eyed at the dark skinned elf who had turned back around with a hand resting on the handle of his sword. He was giving me the most confused look I've ever seen and normally I would have laughed, but I was too shocked to do much more than gape. There was also a small amount of attention from the rest of the Chargers but after most of them realized there was no danger, they disregarded my outburst as nothing unusual.

Fenris continued to regard me curiously for another beat of silence before he caught a glimpse of my book. More specifically, the back cover which contained a portrait of the author. After that he put the sword away and continued to give me a less-than-impressed stare. I had to fight a smile, broody elf indeed and apparently I wasn't the only one who thought so.

"Vishante kaffas, I'm going to kill that dwarf." He mumbled just lowly enough that I heard it when I clearly wasn't supposed to.

"So the 'Fenris' in this book, it _is_ you?! Holy shit, I thought these were fiction! So did you know all these other people? Hawke, Merrill, _Varric_?!" I rambled only getting more excited by the second and I could see the fear beginning to dawn on his face as it neared my control threshold, "Can you sign my book, please?" if the trepidation and shifting eyes were any indication, I would say that signing my book was one of the last things he wanted to do right now. Just as I was about to apologise and leave him alone, however, I felt the book suddenly torn from my grip.

"Alright that's enough reading for you, Lashes." Rumbled the thunderous voice of our fearless leader as he held the now seemingly tiny novel in his exceedingly large hands.

"But, I was going to drop it after that I swear! Give it back please! I want to know what happens next!" I whined as I tried to swipe the book back from him only for Bull to hoist it up higher than I could reach. His one eye twinkled with incomplete mischief and I felt my stomach drop. Oh I was in for it now.

"Well let me help you with that then." He turned to the page I had just left off on and started reading aloud when I started my arms around and jumping up and down to get him to stop.

"No! That's not what I meant! Stop reading, stop reading! You're spoiling it!" the rest of the Chargers all started to have a good laugh at my distress. When I finally got my book back after he finished reading the page, I turned around to find Fenris gone and no where in sight.

* * *

 "So let me get this straight, you're saying that there's just this thing that… exists and with it, you can look up all sorts of information with just the press of a button?" the Chief was doing his best to wrap his head around the concept of the internet and basic search functions like Google.

"Yup. People would use it everyday for everything. Work, entertainment… of varying sorts… or even sharing creative things with other people from all over the world! Although it can also be a very dark place because when you're on the internet and talking to other people, you gain the advantage of being anonymous and therefore people can just be cruel. That's also primarily where the black market exists, although it's called the Dark Web and you don't want to go there." I quite my rambling before I said anything else that I might regret. I sat down on the crate that was provided for me and watched as Bull rubbed the bridge of his nose as he tried to process all the information that I dumped on him just now. Maybe telling him about the internet hadn't been such a good idea after all. His mind was imploding even more so than when I told him about indoor plumbing!

Although I have to admit, this was a nice change from learning about how the politics of Thedas worked. It was so boring I nearly fell asleep, twice. After a close call on a third time, he called it quits and moved onto my half of the information session.

"Maybe we should call it for the night. It's getting late, and we have a battle to prepare for tomorrow."

"You're right. Go get some rest Lashes, we'll pick this up tomorrow night." He sighed heavily and I nodded as I got up making sure to take my book with me, I was more than halfway through now. After I'd lost Fenris this afternoon, I decided that I would pour myself into the story. Not only was I curious about this mysterious elf character that showed up out of no where, but it wasn't likely that he would tell me anything himself.

"See you tomorrow, Chief." Were my parting words as I made to step out of the tent only to be stopped by him speaking up,

"Lashes, wait." I turned back around to see him staring at me with a concerned look on his face, "Don't leave camp tonight. I got a bad feeling being here, and we never know what those crazy 'Vint assholes might be up to."

"Of course, I'll stay in my tent."

"Good, get your strength up. We're going to need it." I nodded in response as I let the tent flap fall shut behind me. Like I promised, I made a beeline straight for the tent I'd set up earlier for myself. I got a few goodnight calls from people around camp, Gaelic of course being one of them. There was hardly any drinking tonight since everyone knew that they'd have to be at one-hundred percent tomorrow morning, plus Krem was on patrol making sure no one was over doing anything. I swear sometimes he's more like a mother than anything.

Movement caught my attention out of the corner of my eye and I whipped my head around just in time to see Fenris stalking off into the woods looking very suspicious and like he wasn't wanting to be followed. Now while I know I shouldn't be taking what I've read in a story for actual fact, but I knew that this strangely marked elf had some demons in his past and that made him hard to trust. I set the book down on a tree stump outside of one of the other Chargers' tents and after making sure I had both of my daggers, I started to follow him. Just as I stepped outside of the campsite, I heard Bull's warning ring in my head _"Don't leave camp tonight. I got a bad feeling…"_ I hesitated for only a moment before I told myself I would be careful and headed into the treeline after the elf.

It was nearly impossible to track him in the dark with hardly any moonlight to light up the ground around me let along walk silently enough so he wasn't aware he had someone trailing him. Now I was glad that I had left my new sword back in my tent, otherwise it would no doubt be making this whole endeavour much more difficult. After a few moments of searching, I'd managed to pick up his trail. Following his tracks was actually much more easy than I thought it would be once I remembered the dumbass didn't wear shoes. Who the hell doesn't wear shoes while walking through the goddammn wilderness? His feet must be so rough and callused they'd put sandpaper to shame, gross.

The sounds of metal sliding against metal immediately caught my attention and I stopped dead in my tracks. Crouching down I listened for any sounds of fighting. Ahead of me, in the direction that Fenris's footsteps led, that was where the noises were coming from. Carefully, I moved through the underbrush and silently drew my blades. Obviously he was in trouble and despite the fact that I didn't trust him, I would help him if I needed to. I could wait to ask him what the hell he was doing sneaking off by himself in the middle of the night, not that I really had any room to judge as that was exactly what I was doing. In hindsight, I should have told someone else what I was doing but it was too late now.

As I rounded a tree, I was able to witness Fenris facing a group of six. Three of them had their weapons drawn and were standing in front of a man dressed in robes that fell to the ground around his feet and a staff in his hand. The rest of his features were shadowed from the minimal light available. At the white haired elf's feet lay two bodies in puddles of what I assumed to be blood and if I judged correctly, they are the ones who would have been responsible for the noise I heard not long ago.

"Danarius, I should have known you would be behind this." The hatred in his voice was unmistakable and I felt a sudden stab of pity towards him. Obviously this 'Danarius' whoever he was, had caused him some ill in the past.

"Oh Fenris, you really make this too easy. You're so predictable. It's truly a marvel that you've managed to elude me for as long as you have when you keep falling for obvious traps. Now really, who could have been calling for help so late at night and so far from any sort of civilization?" the other man stated with a scratchy and pompous voice. As he stood nonchalantly clearly not threatened by the blue, glowing figure not ten feet from him. "I suppose you mostly have your little friend Hawke to thank for your success, but he's no longer here to protect you. Now Fenris, will you come along willingly, or will I have to _persuade_ you?" he posed the question with an oily tone that chilled my spine. Clearly this guy was as good as a sack full of angry cobras.

"I should have killed you when I had the chance. I won't make the same mistake twice." at that point, the glowing man launched himself at his opponent holding the staff. That was also the same moment when I realized that I was no longer alone in the bushes. Jumping to the side, I was forced to dodge a slash of a blade of some form. My attacker was using a stealth ability and as such I was unable to see them at all. Thankfully, the foliage was thick and moved when they disturbed it. I landed a solid kick to their body, from the contact I made, it felt like their torso but there wasn't any way to tell.

"He's not alone Magister! There's another one here with him!" cried the invisible person somewhere in front of me and I cursed under my breath. I really should have told someone else where I was going. Why do I never listen to what my gut tells me?

"Making new friends are we, Fenris? How unlike you." This magister Danarius snapped his fingers and the other two behind him darted into the trees on a beeline to find me no doubt. I had to get back to camp, this was a serious problem that the two of us weren't able to handle alone. Heart pumping furiously, I turned tail and bolted back the way I came. The faster I got back to the Chargers the better, noise be damned.

There was a cry of "Oh no you don't!" before I felt my legs become entangled in something and I fell to the ground. Panicked, I quickly tried to untangle myself from the ropes but I wasn't fast enough and before I could get even one foot out, I was being hauled up, not very graciously, by the arms. I fought viciously against whoever it was taking a hold of me but they held fast. No doubt I was going to have bruises from where they gripped me.

My knives were taken from me much to my displeasure as I was dragged back towards the clearing where I could once again hear the sounds of metal clanging together. A sudden weight dropped into my stomach when I realized the sound wasn't carrying beyond where we were. So any chance of the Chargers hearing the racket and coming to our aid was very unlikely unless someone had followed me and had been more careful about it… although that was getting less and less likely the longer I was being towed back towards the source of the conflict.

Trying to use my opponent's strength against them I ripped my arms downwards and then aimed right for where the sun doesn't shine on both of them. When I made contact with something squishy, and two identical groans of pain, I assumed I'd struck dead center. Next I smashed their heads together effectively knocking them out, then I turned on my heel and once again started running towards camp. Except I'd forgotten about the third man hiding in the trees and remembered about him only as his arm closed around my chest and pinned my arms to my sides, and then put a knife at my throat.

"Alright that's enough. The master wishes to meet with you, it would be rude to deny him." He growled into my ear as I struggled to free myself except he kept pulling backwards and off balance.

"I think you missed the part where I don't give a fuck about what that asshole wants." I retorted hotly as I did my best to avoid laying my own windpipe open on his sharp blade.

"Rude whore, know your place. If you had uttered such words back in the Imperium, I would have laid your back open several times over for showing such disrespect to a man." The knife dug further into my neck and I felt a small trickle of blood run down into the collar of my tunic as I continued to be dragged back to where the majority of the fighting was taking place. Wait, did he say 'Imperium'? As in, the _Tevinter_ Imperium? That knowledge had me struggling harder until he hissed a warning to stop as the dagger dug deeper into my skin drawing more blood.

As I was forcefully dragged back into the clearing, I noticed that Fenris had dispatched one of the two body guards and was currently still battling with the last one. With a roar of fury, he swung his great sword with massive force and cleaved clean through the other man, his opponent had raised his own weapon to block, but it had been for naught. His sword cut cleaning in two, the top half of his body flew to the opposite end of the clearing with a line of blood to follow its path through the air. His bottom half fell to the ground with a wet thump as it landed partially in a puddle of blood from his companions. I swallowed thickly to stop myself from vomiting all over myself, that wasn't exactly the impression I was wanting to give here.

"Ah, just in time Fenris, it would seem our unexpected guest has arrived." The oily voice of the Magister stated and the elf's head whipped around to face me. His eyes widened with shock for only a moment before they narrowed into a glare and his lip curled up in a snarl. Under any other circumstances, I would have laughed because the name "Little Wolf" fit him too well.

"Leave her out of this Danarius, she has nothing to do with this." He growled and once again readied his weapon.

"She? Now that is an interesting twist. Let's see what kind of woman managed to get my Little Wolf to care about her." With a flick of his wrist, the clearing was suddenly illuminated by a ring of flames and the face of this 'Vint asshole was revealed. He looked just as greasy as I imagined him being, with grey hair pushed back out of his gaunt face and a scraggly beard that lined his jaw. His eyes glinted cruelly in the firelight as he smiled with sadistic enjoyment. "It's so difficult to see her face with that hood pulled up, lower it would you?" at his words, I struggled to free myself even more until the blade at my throat dug in even further as a warning and I winced at the sharp sting. Then my cowl was pulled down and my features were revealed in all their glory, including my hair. There was a moment of silence throughout the clearing as everyone ogled at the bright hues flickering against the black of the night.

"Great, now we all know she has blue and green hair. Big deal, can we move on to the part where we rip your tongue out through your ass and ask what eating shit is like?" I spat hatefully around the knife that was still firmly under my chin. I heard a hiss from the man holding me before I felt the knife disappear from my throat for a moment before it appeared again scratching a hot line of pain across my cheek. A warm trail of blood streaked my face, I bit my lip to keep myself from making any noise as I glared daggers at the old man standing across the fiery clearing.

"Quiet, you'll speak only when spoken to." The man holding me growled. The creepy dude smirked slightly as he regarded me like a prized piece of a rare collection,

"Very spirited and very beautiful. That hair is nothing short of extraordinary, I can see why you like her Fenris. Take her back to camp, she'll make an excellent addition to my household. There are many uses for an able, young female after all." The one holding me chuckled deep in his chest and gripped me a little tighter as he started to haul me out of the clearing. The knife digging into the underside of my chin effectively stopped me from struggling too hard but I did my best to make it as difficult for him as possible.

The flames lowered for a moment to let us pass and I took the opportunity to glance back to see the elf I'd followed here surrounded by his own circle of flame keeping him from doing much more than breathing. He was glaring furiously at me but unlike before when I had first been brought into the clearing, this one lacked the hatred that had been present before.

"Horns pointing up, Fenris." I didn't get to see his reaction to those words when another wall of fire sprung up between him and I as I continued to be dragged away.

* * *

 At the 'Vint camp I was roughly thrown into a cage much like the one I had been in when Sophi was still alive, the thought of her still sent sharp stings of pain through my chest but my current predicament wasn't going to allow me to wallow in my sadness. My hands were bound behind my back once again and all my weapons and armor had been taken from me. Now I was clad in my tunic and breeches, even my boots had been taken from me. I mentally scoffed at that, as if taking away my footwear would stop me from escaping at the first opportunity I got.

The metal door slammed shut and with a click, the latch was locked and I was once again trapped in a slaver's cage. Now I could only hope that Fenris had gotten what I'd meant when I said what I did. Although, I had my doubts because usually with these kinds of things I was either too obvious or not nearly obvious enough. With any luck though he's back at the camp getting backup to help get me out of this rather unfavorable predicament I've gotten myself into.

Oh god, the Chief is gonna be so mad at me for this. Not only did I disobey his direct order to not go anywhere outside of the tent circle, but I got myself kidnapped by slavers… again. That is, if they were even going to rush here to save me in the first place. For all I know they might think of this as the last straw and officially cut me loose. Either way I am so boned, if I even live through this. Disobeying the Chief's orders was never a good idea which is what usually lead people getting hurt… or worse.

Curling up into a ball in the corner I did my best to calm myself and stop thinking that the worst case scenario was going to pass. Everything would be fine, I was going to get out of this mess and then everything would go back to the way it was. Unbidden, a tear rolled down my cheek and I hurriedly wiped it away on my shoulder and winced when it was the same cheek that had the cut from that asshole's dagger. Not to mention the burning line of fire across my throat from where the blade had threatened me the most, now that the adrenaline rush was gone, I was really feeling everything. Thankfully after a quick glance around the camp to see if anyone saw it, I was relieved for the first time tonight to see that hardly anyone was paying attention to me which I found slightly strange considering that my hair was visible. Usually that meant I was a beacon for all sorts of unwanted attention.

"Ah, the lady of the hour. My men treated you well I hope? I don't like my property being mishandled after all." And there went my relative peace and quiet now that the dickface of the day was back. I distinctly noticed a lack of body guards and one broody elf, "Now that all those unpleasantries are out of the way, I don't believe we have been properly introduced. My name is Danarius and a prominent Magister in the Tevinter Imperium, surely a lady as lovely as yourself has a name to match?"

"Yeah it's Up Yours You Kidnapping Sack of Shit." I was able to get those brave—sorry stupid—words out before every muscle in my body spasmed at once. My mouth opened in a silent scream as the electricity surged through my body. The ordeal probably lasted only a few seconds, but for me, it stretched into an eternity. When it was finally over, I slumped panting into an awkward heap in the corner where I still lay.

"Now now, there's no need to be rude. I can be quite the generous master; all I ask is that you show me the proper respect. If you refuse to give me your name, I shall make one for you."

"You can call me 'Bitch' for all I care, I'm not telling you my name." I wheezed, and predictably, there was more lightning. My back arched high off the floor of the cage as my whole body became stiff. I was sure the torture lasted for longer this time and when it was finally over, I collapsed unceremoniously no longer having the strength to move. Breathing was slightly difficult and my heart was pounding in my chest.

"I can see you are going to make this difficult. It's a shame that you are so unlike my little Fenris. He was always so compliant; it seems I will have to go through the process of breaking you first." At the mention of the elf, I raised my head. Speaking of him, where was he? As if this creepy piece of shit could read my mind, he grinned an evil, oily smile, "Are you worried about him? Curious as to where he might be? As you may suspect, due to his absence, he refused to come quietly. Unfortunately, he is now dead."

* * *

**Please leave me with a comment with your thoughts, I'd love to hear them!**


	13. Stars- Love You're Not Alone

**!TRIGGER WARNING- ATTEMPTED RAPE IN THIS CHAPTER! I will mark the beginning and end clearly so anyone who doesn't want to read it can skip it easily.**

**Something I keep forgetting to mention is that the Chargers are in fact a larger force than the small inner circle that I've been writing, but for the sake of not creating too many OCs that I then have to worry about writing, I've chosen to ignore them.**

**There's also a poll on my fanfiction.net profile, you can find me under the same name (Lady Audentium), go vote on it if you would like!**

* * *

 "You're lying." I smirked as I settled more comfortably into the corner as far from him as possible. The magister blinked and for only a moment his façade dropped and I was able to see the fear behind the mask he tried so hard to wear. "He got away, he got back to the camp." A wave of relief swept over me as my muscles slowly stopped twitching, I didn't yet have the strength to set myself upright, however, and remained on my side in the cage. Fenris would get the Chargers and then they'd come and wipe this whole camp off the face of the earth.

"It seems you are quite perceptive. I assume that means you are aware of your situation then? Even if my Fenris got back to your camp, you are here now and not in a position where you are able to do much more than obey my commands, Venhedis." I turned my head towards him to see a triumphant smirk across his greasy, wrinkled face, "Do you like my nick name for you? I think it suits you quite well as a woman who expresses herself through vulgarity."

"Whatever, I don't give a shit." I was surprised when there was no more lightning but the look on his face was anything but happy.

"The charm of your language is slowly losing its luster, Venhedis." His voice had lowered to a dangerous tone that was warning me not to push my luck any further. The reasonable part of my brain was telling me that I should listen but the more impulsive stupid part of my brain was screaming at me to not listen to a word this dickbag says. "Now, you're going to tell me what I want to know or I will teach you a lesson in humility. So, how many of you are there in your little mercenary group?"

"You don't know?" I repeated flabbergasted and more than just a little giddy. The silence of the magister in front of me answered the question for me and I grinned lopsidedly, "I'm not telling you anything." This time there was more lightning and at the speed at which my back arched upwards, I thought for sure my spine would snap. My heart raced faster than a galloping horse as I slumped further into the corner falling down completely. Drool leaked from my mouth but it was at an angle that made it invisible to the angry sack of cobras standing at the door.

"I see that your attitude is going to make things difficult. Very well, it seems I will have to break you before you'll be of any use to me." Were the words he left me with. I have to admit, I didn't like the sound of whatever he had in mind for 'breaking me' although knowing what Tevinter loved to do most, I wouldn't be surprised if it involved my namesake. Imagining the sound of a whip sent chills down my spine and my scars tingled uncomfortably. I could feel my body start to tremble involuntarily with fear as I began to wonder what might come to pass.

"Are you mad?" someone whispered hoarsely and I groggily lifted my head to see a disheveled man dressed in dirty rags clinging to the bars of another cage not too far from my own. There was also two women and a child crying softly in a third cage a little farther from where the man was.

"Probably, or at least that's what my whole company thinks." I responded roughly as I tried to pull myself up from my slouch. My muscles were still too weak after the shock therapy that they had gone through only moments before.

"Do you know who you're dealing with? These are Tevinter slavers, if you're not careful they'll whip you!" he warned me and I could hear the fear in his voice.

"Yeah well, they call me Lashes for a reason." Was my slightly sarcastic response before I vowed myself to silence once again as Danarius returned, only this time he wasn't alone. The guard from before that had dragged me into camp was with him. Keys jangled as the lock on the cage was opened. I did my best to squish myself as far into my corner as I could once the door swung open to avoid the hand reaching for my ankle. When he was finally close enough to grab me, I lashed out aiming a kick straight for his face. Unfortunately, he dodged it but I was unable to pull my foot back in time when I felt his fingers wrap around my leg. With a merciless pull, I was dragged along the metal bottom of the cart and out into the dirt.

For a brief moment, I was free but before I could take advantage of it, I was roughly hauled up by my arm. I grit my teeth in pain when it pulled on my wrists which were bound tightly together. At this point my hair was everywhere, in my mouth, in front of my face and all over my shoulders. As I was pulled through camp, now everyone was starting to notice me and the unusual colors of my hair. A small part of me wondered briefly where I was being dragged, until I noticed we were heading.

In the center of a circle of tents, there was a singular pole standing tall and illuminated by the many lanterns placed around it. Fear shot through my entire body as my worst fear came to fruition. The metal shackles on it glinted coldly in the firelight as I began to fight against the hand on my arm.

Despite the fact that I had never seen one before, I knew for a fact that was a whipping post.

Desperate, I lashed out at the knee of the one holding me. I kicked him, causing his joint to buckle forwards and it threw him off balance just enough that the grip loosened for only a moment, but it was all I needed. Wrenching my arm out of his grasp, I made to turn and make a run for it, only to be faced with a wall of ice spikes levelled directly at my throat.

"Where do you think you're going, my dear?" the magister from before asked in an oily tone as I took steps backwards from the deadly sharp ice, "As I said before, your attitude is no longer acceptable but since I would hate to have that beautiful body ruined by something as harsh as the whip. This is your last chance. Submit to my will like a good girl, and you won't be harmed." The condescending tone to his voice and the chuckle that went up from the group that had gathered set my temper aflame.

"If you think for one second that I will listen to the shit that comes out of your mouth, then there are much better uses for your tongue, like eating a dick for instance." My head snapped sharply to the side and my eyes watered from the force of the slap I'd been given. Then before I had a moment to recover, I felt a hand tangle itself deeply into my hair and yank my face back to that of the man who's been in charge, his soulless black eyes glinted coldly like the metal on the pole.

"And you will watch your tongue before I cut it out of your skull." He growled at me before he once again began to drag me towards the post in the center of camp. I did my best to resist as much as I could, but with his new grip tugging painfully on my scalp, there was not a lot that I could do. Excited shouts began to erupt from the crowd as I got closer to the pole, sick bastards who had nothing better to do than watch someone get tortured. Disgusting. Tevinter was nothing more than a sore needing to be burned from the face of Thedas.

Pushed face first into the rough wood of the pole, I felt the rope binding my wrists suddenly come loose. Unfortunately, I was in no position to use my newfound freedom. The hand on my head continued to press my face roughly into the wood as his body pinned mine and his other hand gripped one of mine and brought it above my head where the shackles lay. With expertise precision, he clamped the first one around my wrist and then immediately reached for the other that was currently trying to ease his death grip on my hair. Ironically enough, once both my hands were securely bound above my head, he released my hair. I struggled to pull my wrists free to no avail but stopped dead when I felt the back of my tunic torn open to reveal my scarred back. A harsh chuckle was heard from the one behind me,

"It would appear that this will not be your first experience with the lash. Magister Danarius," he called and as he stepped away to reveal my bare skin to the rest of the group, a murmur went up in the crowd once they all caught a look at my scars, "I cannot say how well lashing her will work, it seems that she has experienced its pain before and it appears it has done nothing to tame her wild nature. Perhaps we should use the barbed one?" he suggested and I could hear the sadistic excitement in his voice and I tested the strength of my shackles. My heart began to beat faster and my breathing accelerated. A cold sweat broke out on my spine as adrenaline began to spike through my system.

"No, I don't want her unsightly. Her back is horrid enough already, use the regular one." Was the rather displeased reply and the telltale slither of a whip across the grass caught my attention. Panic ignited itself in my body and the chains started to clank against the wood as my limbs trembled with unbridled fear. My back became hypersensitive the longer I waited for the lash. I squeezed my eyes shut to try and calm myself down, but it had the opposite effect and I only continued to panic more.

Tears threatened to leak from my eyes but I screwed them shut even tighter than before and stifled the whimper that was pressing at the back of my throat. I sent up a prayer to any and every god that might or might not be listening that the Chargers were on their way.

The crack of the whip registered in my ears a fraction of a second before a white hot line of pain opened up on my back. I somehow managed to choke back a scream but I still made all the motions. A second crack had me whimpering and doing my best to shrink away from the source of my agony, but I could not give in to the pain. I would not. If I did, it would mean letting these 'Vint assholes win and that was one thing that would hurt more than the whip ever would.

Cheers went up from those surrounding the area, presumably because of my silence upon being tortured. Apparently this is what counted for entertainment in the Imperium. The third lash caught me directly between my shoulder blades right along my spine and this time I couldn't stop the scream that ripped itself from my throat. The resulting cheers that went up were even louder than before as I slumped against the wooden pole my body trembling with sharp agony all of my energy utterly spent.

"That's enough. I'm sure by now she has come around and realized what a poor idea it is to disobey me." Sounds of approaching footsteps caught just the barest amount of my attention as my head was pulled back by my hair and I was forced to look into the eyes of Danarius. "What do you say, Venhedis? Are you ready to behave?" with every ounce of loathing I could muster in my being, I glared up at him.

"When you suck your own dick." I spat and was able to watch with satisfaction, as his face puffed up with rage and he roughly let go of my head. His footsteps carried him back behind me where he stood before while he watched me be whipped. Every breath through my body was a struggle, just the expanding and contracting of my back and chest was agony. My arms and legs trembled with the effort of holding myself upright and in the end, I slumped down to my knees. I winced when extending my arms upwards pulled the new lash marks on my back.

"I can now see you were right, Dorian. It would appear that the lash is not enough." The greasy tone of the magister spoke to, I assume, the bastard who had been responsible for whipping me, "You have until dawn. If she is not compliant by then, then she will be an unfortunate loss. You are free to use any means necessary as long as she is not too physically damaged." My heart stopped in my chest,

"As you wish, Magister. I will make sure she knows the meaning of submission before the sun rises." The other man responded with dark intonations. A different fear took over my body as I heard purposeful footsteps make their way over to where I was bound. One hand took a painful fistful of my hair while the other unlocked the shackles around my wrists. Of course, once I was free, I instantly started fighting against his hold trying to free his fingers from the strands of my hair. When my other hand was unchained, this 'Dorian' roughly yanked me away from the pole and in order to keep my balance, I went with the motion. After that, he pushed me in the direction of some of the tents and with reluctance I was forced to walk, "You all heard Magister Danarius, anyone who disturbs me before dawn will regret it more than this bitch here." A round of laughter went up from the crowd.

At this point I realized I needed to make an effort to keep what remained of my tunic from falling off completely. With one arm, I grasped what was left of the neckline and held it in place up by my shoulders. With every step, my back hurt more and more as the muscles shifted under my new wounds and I had to grit my teeth against the pain. One bad step had me hissing in a sharp breath, unfortunately, this caught the attention of my torturer. He yanked my head up and put his mouth directly beside my ear,

"I'm going to show you the meaning of pain and then make you beg for release." He whispered darkly before he shoved me into a tent. My legs tangled around each other and I fell heavily onto the uneven ground. I swallowed a groan of agony but I couldn't stop the tears no matter how tightly I screwed my eyes shut. Footsteps followed me in followed closely by the sound of a belt dropping carelessly to the ground, like a bullet, fear shot through my system. A panicked look over my shoulder only confirmed my worst fears.

**(TRIGGER SECTION STARTS HERE)**

After he had removed his belt, the dark haired man had moved onto his boots. With ease, he ripped them off of his feet and it was in that moment that I realized I was in deep trouble. Frantically, I did my best to scramble back up to my feet. The pain had disappeared from my back almost completely due to the adrenaline currently pumping itself furiously through my system. For the second time that night though, his hand wrapped around my ankle and mercilessly towed me back.

Before I could fully comprehend what was going on, suddenly I was on my back and looming above me, was the imposing figure of Dorian. He positioned himself between my legs and immediately went for my belt which was one of the only accessories that they hadn't taken away from me. With deft hands, he made quick work of the buckle despite my attempts to stop him. A sudden pain on my right cheek stunned me long enough for him to gather both of my wrists into one hand and pin them above my head. My eyes watered when the stinging pain of his slap refused to stop and when I felt a warm trickle down the same cheek, I realized he'd reopened the cut that he'd made only hours ago.

Once my arms were no longer of any use, I started thrashing around on the ground in a desperate attempt to buck him off me. Instead, it only got me another slap across the face on the other cheek and a blow to the solar plexus. That effectively knocked the wind out of me and for the next few seconds as I gasped for air, I realized several things.

One, I wasn't strong enough to stop him.

Two, it was going to happen one way or another.

Three, I couldn't let him break me. I couldn't. I wouldn't.

Despite my last resolution I couldn't help the tears that were beginning to form unbidden in my eyes.

Coughing, I finally managed to drag air back into my lungs just in time to hear the tearing of fabric and the sudden cold air on my thighs. His rough hand, pushed the material down my legs before pushing what remained of my tunic up my stomach. I started struggling once again to free myself, maybe if I got just the right angle with a kick, I would be able to break free.

When a hand closed around my throat and squeezed so hard that I saw stars, my limbs quickly became still as I fought uselessly to breathe. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as everything started to become dark. Just when I thought I would pass out, his grip lessened slightly and I dragged in a shallow, ragged breath. I coughed to try and clear my windpipe further. It worked slightly and as my head cleared, the numbness in my limbs faded and that was when I noticed he had let go of my wrists.

The cold air on my sex immediately gave away where it had gone before I even had a chance to think about it. A thumb underneath my chin forced my head up to look into his pitch black eyes,

"You're going to watch me do this, Venhedis. I'm going see the moment when I break you." A sadistic grin slipped onto his face as he readjusted himself and I felt a warmth replace the cold at my pelvis. With every last bit of courage I possessed, I stared into his dead, lifeless eyes. Unbidden, my body started to tremble as my breaths became shallower and shallower. Instinctively, I tried to move away from him but he tightened his grip on my neck and I knew that I would have no leeway. I did my best to prepare for the pain but as he readied himself above me, I knew that it wasn't going to be enough. Pre-emptively, I clenched my jaw shut to keep myself from making any noise. I would not beg, I would not whimper, I would not break.

**(END)**

Light suddenly shone in the tent right before I saw large fingers wrap around his neck and surprise widen his eyes before I was left staring at a blank canvas ceiling. A furious roar sounded from outside and I immediately recognized it. Rolling to the side, I coughed violently to clear my air way before I started to massage my throat as I sat up as I gazed at the tent flap. Cacophony sounded from outside that was so loud I had to wonder how I hadn't heard it before. Then again it could have been the fact that a dude was literally trying his best to rape me.

A horned silhouette appeared on the flap. Once, I remembered that at one point it would have filled me with fear, but now all I could feel was relief. Sobs wracked their way up my chest as I gathered what little clothing I still had around myself and started to get to my feet. Before he could push the tent flap aside, I was bursting through it and wrapping both my arms around his thick waist as far as they would go. I could feel him draw back slightly but once he realized it was me, he relaxed slightly, I know that he wasn't a fan of this kind of physical contact but it was the only thing I could do right now to show how grateful I was to not have been abandoned to these monsters for a second time.

"I didn't think you guys would come." I choked back a sob, "Chief, I'm so sorry. You said not to leave camp but that was exactly what I did." Tears made clean tracks down my dirt streaked face and stung the cut that had reopened when he had slapped me just a few minutes ago.

"And you think I would leave you to these 'Vint assholes because of that? You're part of the Bull's Chargers, Lashes. We look out for one another and we definitely don't let anyone get away with kidnapping one of us." Gently, way more gently than I thought him capable of, he put a finger underneath my chin and tilted my face up so I had no choice but to look him in the eye. The flickering light of the flames made it difficult to see his face clearly but from what I could make out, he seemed completely genuine in what he was saying. "Now that being said, you're still going to be doing double duty around camp for disobeying a direct order, but first we need to get you over to Stitches and get him to look at these new whip marks. Are you hurt beyond the new lashes? Did he hurt you?" at this point he pulled away from me and gestured to my destroyed clothing from the waist down.

"N-no, you pulled him off me just in time." I mumbled ashamedly, and directed my gaze to the side unable to maintain eye contact any longer. The hair on the top of my head bristled from the large sigh the horned man in front of me let out

A battle cry caught my attention and I whipped my head to my left to see a man running towards us with his sword raised above his head. Bull put his arm in front of me as he prepared to cut down the adversary so foolishly rushing at us. Fortunately, he had no need to do so as the man stopped dead with a glowing blue hand protruding from his chest. With a sickening crunch and a spray of blood, the hand was yanked back. The body fell to the side to reveal none other than Fenris.

"It's good to see you're alive. The Chargers were going to have my head if they had found you dead, or worse." He quipped what was supposed to be in scathing manner but really I just found it funny.

"Aw, I was worried about you too Fenris." My fake sweet tone had him lowering his eyebrows at me but I couldn't help it, somehow he brought out my mischievous side, "Magister Dickface said he killed you but I didn't believe him for a second. Whatever lets you do that hella badass glowy shit is too good for whatever he can pull out of his ass." At that statement, his brows furrowed further. I heard a chuckle from the Chief and my grin grew wider.

"Right, I'm just going to pretend I understood what you said. I'm going to go find Danarius." With that, the white haired elf took off running leaving me alone with our chuckling Qunari leader.

"Glad to see your spirit's still in one piece, Lashes." He replied and reached around me. With a massive flex, he tore the flap off the tent and before I could do anything about it, he wrapped me up like a burrito. "Time to get you to Stitches, and Dalish. She was wise enough to bring you an extra set of clothes." As he was informing me of all this, the next thing I knew was I was being picked up and just like the first time he carried me, he placed me on his forearm where I sat against his chest. Then after that he started to jog through the chaos that these dickheads once called camp.

"I can walk!"

"This is faster, and I don't want you to make those wounds any worse by pushing yourself." He responded levelly as with one massive sweep of his axe, he cleared the way of the small group that thought to block his way. a warm feeling of deep satisfaction settled in my stomach watching these evil monsters get what they deserve. Although, I was glad now that Bull had insisted on carrying me like he had, because even the tremors of his feet landing on the ground was enough to send waves of pain through my new marks. Walking would have eventually become difficult and running myself would have definitely been out of the question.

The carnage all around was clear to see from my vantage point and I stared in awe at the destruction that such a small band of mercenaries had been able to create. It did look like they had used a very similar plan that had been laid out on the table before hand as arrows (most of them on fire which is what had caused most of the damage) flew from the treeline. I wondered briefly if Gaelic was safely behind that line of foliage before I immediately dismissed that idea. There was no way he would stay behind like that. It wasn't long before we made it out of the main battleground and back to a temporary base camp where Stitches was applying bandages and tending to the injured while Dalish flung all sorts of magic long range into the 'Vints' camp.

"Lashes!" cried the white haired elf as she put her not-a-staff-but-a-bow on her back and rushed to meet Bull and I. upon her approach my personal transportation set me down and I was immediately enveloped into the tightest hug I've even experienced. I could hardly breathe as I felt my bones being crushed, how was this woman so ridiculously _strong_? "Fenharel's Teeth, are you alright? Why are you dressed such?"

"I'll let her answer that one. I'm going back to the fight, Stitches, Dalish, Lashes is your responsibility." Our leader instructed before just as he said, he ran back into the fray bellowing a terrifying war cry.

"Lashes, why are you wrapped in tent canvas?" Dalish persisted and I looked down at my body that was still tightly wrapped up. Jesus that man knows how to tie someone up!

"Uh well… they couldn't make me do what they wanted from whipping me, so I was… handed off to someone else who was going to employ… _other_ methods." My breathing had accelerated by the end of my sentence the weight of what had almost happened to me finally came crashing down on me. Tears leaked in heavy streams down my face stinging the wound on my cheek, I stared up at the elven woman in front of me with wide eyes. With concern taking over her face, he cupped my uninjured cheek and pulled me in for another hug this time it was less bone crushing and more comforting. Desperately, I wrapped my arms around her as I started to sob heavily, "He tried to rape me Dalish, he was going to hurt me, make me beg for him to stop."

"Shhh ir abelas ma vhenan, you're safe now and Fen'Heral will make him pay for his crimes." The elven woman reassured me and immediately I began to feel better. Hearing her speak in her native tongue calmed me as I continued to cry onto her tunic, "Come, let us get you changed into something that isn't torn to pieces."

* * *

 After a few minutes, I was sitting in front of Stitches as he cleaned and patched up my back. I was once again wearing underwear and a new pair of breeches. Thankfully this time the new marks weren't so bad that they needed (pun not intended) more stitches. In fact, they had only bled minorly and required only light bandaging. That said though, they still hurt like a bitch and were going to bruise like no tomorrow, the welts themselves had already begun to develop and were quite painful to the touch. Plus, they were placed in such a way that hindered the movement of my arms and shoulders.

The battle was still raging heavily in the camp, Dalish had left once I was once again properly clothed and in Stitches' good care. Now there was extra damage being dealt with another mage added into the mix. A rightly enraged mage at that too, the elven woman was pulling no punches with her spells. It was an awesome sight to behold.

Silhouettes appeared, outlined by the blaze going up on the tents of the 'Vints' camp. At first I thought it was cowards fleeing from the battle, but then I noticed two of them were wearing dresses. Then I recognized the shadow holding the bow and herding them away from the battlefield.

Gaelic.

Once Stitches was done with my back, I quickly pulled on my tunic before I ran out to meet my brother-in-arms. Of course our company healer didn't like this and shouted at me to come back, but I ignored him in favor of seeing the person I cared about most and reassuring him that I was okay.

"Lashes!" he cried when he saw me and without even thinking I threw myself into his arms and winced when the action pulled on my back and his armor dug into my unprotected body.

"Gaelic, I'm so glad you're alright!" out of the corner of my eye, I could see him wave the others onwards towards the treeline and they hurried to obey without question. No doubt they were just as eager to get away from these monsters as I had been.

"Me? You were the one who got kidnapped, and whipped again by the feel of the bandages beneath your tunic. Maker's Balls Lashes, you're going to get yourself killed by these 'Vints' one of these days." He said it with an air of expectancy that had me pulling away to give him a good slap across the arm,

"And I suppose at that time you won't care with that ice cold heart of yours will you?" I quipped back with a grin that he returned whole heartedly as he slung a heavy looking bag over his shoulder and set it on the ground.

"Well knowing you, it'll be because you rushed in foolishly without thinking clearly enough." He threw open the flap to reveal several pieces of armor glinting in the blazing light, "Here, I thought you might want some of these. I found them being used by several different people or in tents." That was when I recognized the pieces as the various parts of _my_ armor, even my favorite boots were in here!

"You found all of this?" quickly I began to don all that was in the bag. First thing were the boots followed closely by the rest. Once it was all out of the bag I noticed two critical items missing. "My daggers aren't here."

"I couldn't find them, I'm sorry Lashes."

Without any hesitation, I started to walk determinedly towards the burning remains of what once was a campsite. The screams of pain and battle were less noticeable now that there was hardly anyone left to make them but there were still a few stragglers that refused to give up and were fighting to their last breath.

"Whoa, Lashes you can't go back there unarmed, you'll get yourself killed. You're already injured enough as it is. You can buy new daggers at the next town we go through, they weren't even that great to begin with." He tried to dissuade me but I was determined. Plus, I needed to show these assholes I hadn't been broken from their treatment.

"No, those were my first daggers, I want them back. The thought of them being in the hands of some disgusting 'Vint makes me sick."

"Alright, fine we can find them after everything is said and done. Right now we need to get you somewhere safe."

"This place is burning Gaelic, if we wait for everything to burn down, it will be that much more difficult to find them." At that point I heard a growl of frustration before he jogged up beside me. Two different daggers appeared under my nose and out of reflex I disarmed them from the one holding them.

"You at least need something to defend yourself with." I grinned victoriously as I twirled them between my fingers. They weren't balanced quite like mine but they would have to do for now.

"Thanks Gaelic.

"You owe me." He sighed and I only grinned back at him.

"I'll buy the drinks next time; how does that sound?" I compromised and I could see the satisfaction rise in his expression despite his attempts to hide it.

"That should be sufficient."

With that we both headed back into the fray. He was armed with his bow which he held at the ready with an arrow cocked as we weaved through the remains of tents. Before we had even gotten back into the center of things we ran into a mage just on the outskirts of the skirmish. Obviously he had followed Gaelic and the others outside when they had escaped the cages. He was already quite weak and I was able to dispatch him fairly easily. Despite the fact that he was a 'Vint, I didn't kill him, I only knocked him unconscious. The throat cutters would take care of him later just like they did for all my opponents.

Once inside the tent line we passed several bodies which I of course checked to see if they contained either of the items I was looking for. There were some more intact tents that I searched thoroughly to make sure I didn't miss anything. Gaelic stood outside covering me while I did so each time, but I never had any success no matter how hard I searched.

We encountered a few more enemies that we dispatched with relative ease, most of them were already fairly injured and nearing death by themselves. At another point we encountered Krem how more or less ordered us to go back and help with the freed slave prisoners. My blonde companion had also been insistent on this course of action, but I was determined. I wanted to find my daggers.

Like I said I would, I continued to search and the battle dragged on around us. I could see that the tide of battle was slowly being pushed in our favor. Not that I was surprised. With the Bull leading his Chargers, there was nothing that we couldn't handle. A particularly loud explosion caught my attention and we turned just in time to see none other than the dickface Danarius himself. Although I had to say, this time he looked a little worse for wear. There were several gashes that were bleeding through his fancy robes. There was only one thing that really caught my attention on him thought, or should I say, two things.

My daggers were in the belt at his waist.

Before I could make a move towards him, however, a glowing blue elf charged onto the scene with a great sword raised over his head. The magister at the last minute threw up a hastily cast shield that cracked all the way across its surface when Fenris brought down his heavy weapon on it.

"Is this really what you want Fenris? It doesn't have to be this way between us." His voice was strained as he struggled to hold up his spell. The white haired elf brought his weapon back for one more heavy blow and the shield cracked to the point where there were more fragments missing than there were still holding it together.

"You're not going to plague me anymore Danarius. You die here." One more blow shattered the spell completely and the mage was thrown onto his back in the dirt. To what very, very little credit he had, the greasy 'Vint got to his feet almost immediately, but it was easy to tell that he had no strength left. His wounds had obviously taken a heavy toll on his body and clearly his magic had run out if his last spell was anything to go by.

"Now, let's not be hasty Fenris. I'm sure we can work something out between us." The fear was evident in his voice as he backed up to try and keep some distance between himself and the elf that was currently stalking up to him like a predator homing in on its injured, dying prey.

"The dead do not make compromises." Fenris growled before he punched a hole through Danarius' chest with a glowing fist. The surprise donned on his features for only a moment before there was a horrible crunching noise as the elf solidified his fist within the magister's chest and crushed his still beating heart in his hand. The body fell ungracefully to the side and that was when the Little Wolf finally noticed he had an audience.

"See, I told you that glowy shit was better than anything he could pull out of his ass." I resorted to sarcasm to keep myself from projectile vomiting all over the place at witnessing someone being killed right in front of me. The white haired elf of course continued to regard me with a sense of irritation and confusion.

"What are you doing here? You should be back with the healer having your wounds looked after. They whipped you did they not?" he posed as I walked up to the body of the now-dead-sack-of-angry-cobras and pulled my daggers from where they lay on his person.

"What they gave me doesn't even compare with the one I got before I joined the Chargers. That session was my namesake, you didn't think they called me 'Lashes' for my eyes did you?" for added measure, I batted my eyelashes at him and watched as his usual scowl deepened to new levels. He obviously found me extremely irritating which I enjoyed to no end.

"I assumed it was merely as a result of the whiplash everyone experiences whenever you speak." Was his monotonous response and I frowned in confusion, I couldn't tell if he was being serious or not. Gaelic snorted from his position behind me but that didn't help clear the situation up at all. Before I could make a comment on it, however, cheering suddenly sounded all around the battleground signifying the official end to the battle.

"Come on, we should head back to camp before Krem or the Chief gets there first. You're not supposed to be here, remember?" he prompted me and I had to agree that sounded like a good plan. Not only was I in trouble for disobeying the Chief, now I was risking getting in trouble with Krem for disobeying him as well.

"Yeah, probably a good idea. Plus, we don't want them to start celebrating without us. Rocky likes to take all the good stuff right off the bat." I turned from Fenris and handed Gaelic's knives back to him as I put my own back in their sheaths on my lower back where they belonged. The other elf followed us as we made our way back the way we came. We ended up running into a couple more of the Chargers who were already prematurely celebrating with plundered bottles of booze that they had obviously found somewhere in the remains of the camp. They slung their arms over our shoulders and I winced when the extra weight pulled against the still fresh wounds on my back.

They tried to do the same with Fenris, until he dodged the attempt rather gracefully and then levelled the coldest glare I've ever seen in their direction. There wasn't a second attempt after that of course.

We passed a few people on throat cutter duty putting the injured out of their misery and I was extremely thankful that I didn't have to do that job this time. It was the only one that I absolutely could not stand.

Our group grew as more of the Chargers, this time we found Dalish and Skinner, joined us. Of course our female elven-archer-and-totally-not-a-mage-in-the-slightest reprimanded me for leaving Stitches' care as we passed the smoldering line of charred piles of charcoal and canvas. Sensing tension growing in the air between me and the other elf, Fenris picked up his pace to keep up with the rest of the group who were in a hurry to get back to camp to start the official party. Gaelic on the other hand had chosen to slow down and give us some room for Dalish to lecture me.

Not wanting to be left alone to face her wrath I turned to plead with him to stay up here with me only to be cut off from saying anything when blood sprayed my face.

* * *

  **This chapter's one that I've been planning since the beginning so I hope you enjoyed it! I never liked having more than one OC in a story anyways :P**

**Leave me with a comment with your thoughts, if you'd like, I'd love to hear them!**


	14. Cause I'm Gonna Stand By You

**!TW: GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF GORE!**

_ **NOTICE:** _ **Due to the fact that the companion story is quite a fair bit behind me, I will have to take a break from updating for a while because the next chapter will be one where our stories overlap! It will also feature the return of our favorite sassy elf as well as another appearance by an Origins character!**

**Now where was I? Oh yes, I was murdering someone.**

* * *

 Time seemed to stop around me as Gaelic grasped his chest. He coughed roughly and blood dribbled from his mouth in stringy droplets. A dark stain started to spread across and down his chest where he was holding it like it was hurting him. Why was he bleeding? What was going on? Why was this happening? My body was in complete shock as my brain tried to find a way to explain the situation. Fearfully, he looked into my eyes as his legs lost the strength to support his weight and he slumped towards the ground. Only he remained suspended in mid air even as he legs hung limply with no weight on them.

"GAELIC!" I screamed in absolute panic as my muscles unlocked and I rushed to support him. Time resumed its normal flow as blood fell in thick, gooey droplets onto the grass. He struggled to speak but as I gazed into his terror filled green eyes, he didn't have the strength to do so and his mouth just opened and closed like a fish.

Others started to surround us at this point and that was when I noticed it.

Ice.

Ice had formed large and deadly sharp spikes in a row behind him and the largest was lodged in Gaelic's back. Blood dripped down turning it a disturbing pink that slowly turned dark red as more of his life blood oozed onto the icicle. Following the line back along its length my eyes were drawn to the mage that still lay on the edge of the camp. He had his arm raised and ice particles still sparkled in the air around him. He was the one that I had failed to kill.

Looking at him, I felt something snap in my heart as I stood numbly. Someone grabbed my arm but my mind was set on one thing and one thing only. I was narrowed in on the mage ahead of me. It was his fault. I walked faster.

He is the one responsible for this. I started to jog.

He's going to pay for this. Tears leaked from my eyes.

I'm going to make him beg for mercy. I screamed a furious battle cry.

He'll have wished he waited for the throat cutters just a few bodies away from him. I began running full tilt, weapons unsheathed.

The mage shakily raised his hand to cast another spell but before he could, I knocked it to the side with the blade of my dagger. A line of blood flew through the air following his hand down to the ground where I mercilessly stepped on his wrist. With a disturbing crack I felt the bones break under my boot but I didn't let up even a little as I did the same to his other hand. If he cried out in pain, I didn't hear it, nor did I care.

Taking one dagger, I plunged it into the junction of where his shoulder connected with his torso. I could see the panic in his face but I was past the point of no return, and no amount of pleading would make me stop. Taking a fistful of his hair I yanked his head back and then with my last remaining knife, I started to saw into his throat.

Gore sprayed everywhere as the muscles in his throat tried to scream but I cut through his windpipe before he could make much of a sound and all it did was spray the blood even further with the air escaping his trachea. I didn't stop there though, just cutting his throat open didn't satisfy my urge for revenge and I continued on.

With each saw of my blade, I dug deeper into the juicy tissue of his neck until I hit his spine. Taking my one hand out of his hair, I braced it on the backside of the blade and with one final cry, I pushed down with all my strength until I felt my dagger sink into the ground beneath him. Still not finished I once again grasped his head by the hair and then I lifted myself from his corpse and with all my strength I hurled his decapitated head into the part of camp that was still burning.

Panting heavily, I turned around to face everyone else only to find Skinner standing behind me with a look of utter horror on her face. My gaze slipped past her to see the group that had gathered around Gaelic and I noticed that he was no longer on the icicle. Numb once again, I started stumbling back towards them.

A part of me didn't want to see what had become of him, but another knew that I wouldn't be able to let it go until I had. My footsteps barely left contact with the grass as I dragged them.

Flashes of a burned clearing flashed across my vision and my stomach sunk into the depths of my bowls. Charred remains flickered in and out around me as I approached the cage where I had once found the remains of Sophi. Only this time, there was ice, not fire and this time I definitely could have prevented his death from happening.

It had been my fault that mage hadn't been dead. If I'd put my own beliefs aside and killed him right away, Gaelic wouldn't be lying on the ground with a hole through his chest.

As I approached the group, they looked up one by one and something about my appearance must have shocked them because horror took over each and every one of their expressions. The only one who wasn't looking at me like I had just stepped out of a horror movie was the Chief, instead there was a look of despair in his face. Even Fenris was staring at me like I was out of my mind, or at the very least more so than usual. Stitches was closest to the body lying on the ground and as I approached he stepped away avoiding my gaze.

Gaelic lay down like he was sleeping. His eyes were closed peacefully and he lay perfectly still. The only thing that gave away he was no longer alive was the blood that was still around his mouth and the dark stain on his clothing. His blonde hair was splayed over Dalish's lap as she cradled his head.

Whatever was left holding me together broke completely upon seeing his face. I dropped to my knees at his side as I felt tears once again warm my face. Taking his slowly cooling hand I squeezed it hoping against hope that he would open his eyes so at the very least I could get one last moment with the person I'd called brother in this cruel world. Of course there was no response to my touch at all.

"He's gone, Lashes." Stitches spoke quietly as I felt his hand gently land on my shoulder. Sobs painfully wracked my chest but I refused to make a single sound, not with so many people around at least. I shook my head back and forth, no he can't be gone! He can't be, I still need him. He's the whole reason I'm even still here in the first place, why I even bothered to try. Gaelic was my reason for living, even if I hadn't admitted it to myself before now, it was true. "Come on, Lashes, let's go." He started to pull me up and while I didn't resist, I didn't help on my own either. It wasn't until his hand slipped from my grip that I realized I hadn't let go of Gaelic's and it fell limply to the ground with a soft thump.

Refusing to turn away from his body, I was surprised when Fenris stepped in to pick him up and carry him with us. I had expected Bull to be the one to do so but I suppose in the long run, it didn't matter as long as we weren't going to leave him within the same vicinity as those who were responsible for the situation that caused this. My guilty conscience refused to let me blame them directly for his death since I knew this was my fault. If only I'd killed that mage before!

I am weak. How did I expect to constantly get away without killing anyone? I should have known it would come back to bite me in the ass eventually. Now I was just paying my dues for being such a fucking idiot.

Stitches tried to keep his hold on me but I didn't want to be anywhere close to the center of attention right now so I freed myself and tried to stealthily sneak to the back of the group. Dalish also tried to get my attention but I avoided her too, Rocky patted my arm comfortingly as I passed him to get to the back. Once I was behind everyone, I pulled up the deep hood on my tunic to hide my face as I allowed myself to silently cry for the loss of Gaelic.

* * *

Once we had gotten back to camp, people immediately set to work building a pyre for our fallen comrade. While I wanted to help, it was Bull's orders that I was to go straight to Dalish so I could get cleaned up, apparently I was drenched in blood from the 'Vint mage that I had taken revenge on for Gaelic's death. Only because I knew I was still on thin ice with my commanding officer did I do as I was told.

After a quick wipe down which was really all we had the time or resources for and a change of clothes, I found myself standing in front of a giant pile of wood. On top lay Gaelic in his full armor and daggers in his hands. The blood was gone from his mouth even though it still darkened his clothing on his chest.

Once everyone was present, the Chief walked up to the pile of wood with a torch burning brightly. Silence reigned over the clearing, not even the animals were making any noise. It was as if the world were mourning the death of such a pure soul.

"Gaelic was a brave soldier and our best tracker. It is because of him that many of us are here today," _and because of one of us that he is dead_ my mind supplied miserably, "he was the one many turned to for cheering up when they were feeling down. Gaelic was the heart and soul of the company, he never knew when to give up and often talked without thinking things through but he always meant well with everything he did. The Bull's Chargers will be left lesser without him." There was a beat of silence around the crowd before Krem started the song,

"No man can beat the Chargers, cause we'll hit you where it hurts. Unless you know a tavern with loose cards and looser skirts." the rest of the group slowly started to join in. It was a slower, more sorrowful rendition than the one I'd heard after Bull had announced my joining. I wanted to join them in singing but no matter how much I tried, my mouth stayed clamped firmly shut, "For every bloody battlefield we'll gladly raise a cup. No matter what tomorrow holds, our horns be pointing up!" by the end everyone but me had joined in and raised their weapons towards the night's sky with a fierce battle cry they celebrated his departure.

The Chief threw the torch onto the oil soaked wood and it went up in a great blaze of light and heat. I made myself watch as it quickly consumed the body of my best friend and the only family I had left in this wretched place. The flames burned my eyes and ruined what little night vision I had, my tears were of no help in moisturizing them as they evaporated almost immediately and the salt burned my face. Nonetheless, I refused to look away for even a moment. Even blinking seemed like it was too long a reprieve and I did my best to do so as little as possible.

Slowly one by one people returned to their tents as the fire dwindled and the smell of burning flesh dissipated into the air. A couple of them stopped by me to offer more comforting words since most of them knew how Gaelic had trained me from scratch, especially those who knew that our friendship had run much thicker than water. The Chief was one of these such people, and I think he rumbled something in his deep voice, but it was lost in the hurricane of my thoughts. Within an hour, I was the last one standing around the burning embers of his funeral pyre.

By this point, the grand fire had burnt itself out to hardly more than a pile of charcoal on the ground. Closer to the center there were still embers that glowed red hot but that was it. With everyone gone, I pulled out the book I'd carried with me to the informal service and gazed at its cover. Even the mage on the cover of this book seemed to accuse me of being a murderer with his fierce, unforgiving gaze.

Unable to look at it anymore, I tossed it into the ashes that still glowed. Reading the book had proved to be too difficult as my heart would crack open more with every word that I read. It was too great a reminder at this point and I had already learned I couldn't afford to be sentimental anymore.

Turning from the pyre, I slumped my way back into camp. The lack of heat from the great blaze had left me feeling cold so instead of going back into my tent, I sat heavily at the remains of the campfire. There were bottles of some sort of liquor lying around that I assume were looted from the 'Vint camp since I didn't recognize it being anything from our stores. Pulling the cork from the neck, I upended it and took a large drink.

It was extremely bitter and tasted very slightly of grapes, so I assumed it was some sort of wine. It wasn't my usual cup of tea but it seemed to dull the ache I was feeling in my chest so I took another large mouthful as I brought my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them. The crunching of rocks underfoot caught my attention before I saw a pair of bare feet stop beside me.

"You should not treat gifts so carelessly." He rumbled as the elf took a seat beside me at the dying fire and a book was shoved under my nose. I blankly regarded it as I once again took a long drink from the bottle in my hand.

"I guess you'll take better care of it than I will then, Happy Birthday." I mumbled miserably as I pushed it back towards him and gulped down the last of the bottle before throwing it into the burning embers. It broke with a satisfying crash as I moved onto the next one.

"It is not my birthday."

"It's just an expression." Was my quiet reply.

"You would so easily part with one of the last remaining pieces of your lover?" I could hear the anger laced in his voice but it didn't get the rise out of me that it usually would have. My emotions were dead to me right now.

"He wasn't my lover; he was like a brother to me. Why do you care so much what I do with my book anyways?" I asked after another long pull from the bottle, "As far as I'm aware you don't really care that much for me either, so why suddenly concern yourself now?"

"Because I could never ignore a dying man's last request when I could so easily carry it out." he pushed the book towards me once again, "I signed it. That was his last request before he died." At this I regarded the elf and the book in a new light. my hands started to shake as I took the novel from his grasp and opened it up to see, sure enough, just inside the cover was scribbled 'Fenris.' A watery chuckle escaped my throat as new tears welled up and overflowed down my cheeks.

"Of-godamn-course he would do that." I curled further into a ball with the book at my furiously aching chest as I once again started to sob uncontrollably. After a few moments, I felt a hand hesitantly rub the back of my neck. Obviously he was still aware that they had whipped me earlier and was intentionally avoiding my back which I appreciated. After an unknown amount of time, I finally lifted my head and wiped my face clean of the remnants of my outburst, "Thank you, Fenris, it means more than you can imagine."

"I am glad you came to your senses; it would have been a waste to throw out a collector's item." Collector's item? I frowned confusedly at him, "That will likely be the only copy of that dwarf's rendition of Kirkwall that I will ever touch let alone sign. The value of your book has gone up immeasurably." I smiled uneasily as my legs dropped into a crossed position.

"Not even if the cutest little girl in the world was begging you with the wateriest puppy eyes you've ever seen?" I proposed and watched as his brows furrowed into a sharp 'V' shape.

"Children should not be reading that book." He replied as he too picked up a bottle of the bitter wine and after uncorking it took a long pull from the bottle.

"You never answered my question. Could you break the heart of an innocent little girl for the sake of your pride?" I too drank again and I could feel the alcohol starting to effect me as it tingled through my limbs.

"Yes." Was his firm response and I raised my eyebrows into my hairline in shock,

"I'll make sure to tell Isabela that if I ever meet her." I mumbled before I upended the bottle completely and threw it too into the remains of the fire. There was another satisfying crash as it shattered in the flames.

"If you think you can cow me into submission with threats of her, you are mistaken. The chances of you ever meeting anyways are slim at best unless you should suddenly find yourself on a ship in the middle of the sea." I chuckled at his predicted response. I hadn't really expected it to work but it had been funny at the very least. It was a goad that Gaelic would have liked. At that thought, the joviality drained from my being and I slumped further down. My hand absently reached for another bottle of wine but there were no more within my reach until one suddenly appeared under my nose, "Danarius used to have a whole storeroom full of this wine in his mansion in Kirkwall, he made me serve it to his guests when I was his slave in Tevinter." Taking the bottle from him I uncorked it with only slight difficulty. My fingers weren't doing what I was telling them anymore and I was having trouble balancing.

"That was one of my favorite parts, when you first met Hawke, stormed Dickbag's mansion like a righteous storm, took out everybody inside, then took the damn place for yourself. Fucking badass." I chuckled hollowly as I took another drink and turned away as I wiped a couple stray tears off my cheek. "It felt good to have someone you could always depend on no matter what right?" I mumbled into my chest as I hung my head using my hair as a shield to hide my face.

"You act as if you have lost everything, yet I can clearly see you still have people you can count on. It was not only Gaelic who was eager to plan your rescue, the whole of the Chargers were equally passionate to get you back. You are far from being alone." Again there was a note of irritation in his voice but in my slightly drunken state, I ignored it as I chuckled without any humor.

"I've been alone for months. Ever since I landed here with no hope of getting back, I lost Sophi, my home, my family and my whole way of life. The Chargers have done their best and for that I'm grateful but Gaelic was just the straw that broke the camel's back." Fenris sighed and shifted so he could rest his one arm on a raised knee,

"I am sorry for your loss, I know how difficult it can be to leave everything you know behind" I glanced up at him as he stared unseeing in the remains of the fire, I hid a yawn behind a hand as I suddenly found myself becoming tired, I was barely able to hold my eyes open, "I was recently in the company of an elf by the name of Gaelea who was in a situation very similar to yours." I shifted my position so both of my legs were curled just to the side of my body. I hadn't sat like this since the last time I wore a skirt since it was the only proper way to sit down wearing something like that, "She had lost her home, family, and friends. Until I met her in the company of some more Tevinter slavers, she had been living under the care of a Dalish clan in the area..." he continued speaking after that but as my strength failed me and my eyes shut of their own accord, his deep monotonous voice droned on until my head landed on something soft and my memory of the night ended.

* * *

 The next time I regained consciousness, I wished I could go back to the black abyss. My head pounded with every beat of my heart and my stomach threatened to reject all of its contents should I move even the slightest bit wrong.

I fell back into an uneasy sleep after that constantly switching between sickness and slumber. At some point, I could hear activity start up around camp but I merely groaned and rolled over once again. I made extra care to avoid lying on my stomach so as to alleviate the nausea symptoms as much as possible, after that I continued to try and get some more sleep only to be roused when there was a knock on the wooden pole holding up the canvas.

"Lashes?" was the gentle call that I immediately recognized as Dalish's voice. When I didn't respond verbally, light entered the tent momentarily before soft footsteps alerted me to her approach. There was a gentle hand on my shoulder and something warm placed under my nose. I scrunched my face up at the smell organic smell of the hot leaf juice as I rapidly blinked to clear the sleepiness from my eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"Not good. Oh god, drinking that much was a terrible idea, what the hell was I thinking? Gaelic is going to kill me." And just like that everything fell back into place in my brain, "Oh… right…" was my somewhat less enthusiastic response as what little strength I had faded completely from my system replaced with the desire to do nothing more than lay in bed all day.

"Yes, Gaelic is gone but we mustn't let his death be for naught. Come now, he wouldn't want you to be laying about like this, Lashes. We need to honor his memory, here drink this." The elven woman presented me with the cup that still wafted pompous water odors into my nose, "It will ease the sickness you are no doubt suffering from." I eyed the cup warily but trusting in the fact that Dalish has never purposefully lead me astray, I sat up and took the cup from her hand. Sipping slowly at the hot liquid so as to not disturb my volatile stomach, I did indeed find that it helped the nausea subside little by little. "Now would you care to inform me on what transpired between you and the Tevinter elf last night?" I nearly spit out the tea I was drinking and instead whipped my head around to give her a horrified look.

"Nothing! Nothing happened! I mean… we talked by the remains of the fire after the funeral but then I passed out." I explained hastily, intensely worried about what rumors might be circulating the camp. The small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth had my stomach sinking further downwards than it already was. This was also when I finally clued in that I was in fact _in my tent_ and not in front of the campfire like I had been before. "Why, do you ask?"

"I only heard that last night the Chief found you with your head resting in the Little Wolf's lap." My brain clicked in when I remembered my head hitting something soft rather than the hard rocky ground instead. Oh god, I'd passed out in his lap. A chill went up my spine, Fenris cooties, gross. Massaging my face with my free hand I groaned with despair. Not only had I made an idiot out of myself, but I'd practically put my face directly into his junk. Great, now I'd have to find him and apologize, if I could look him in the face long enough to do so that is.

"Of course he did and knowing the Chief, he'll be thinking of the worst situation possible between me and Fenris…"

"Perhaps it would be best for you to clear the situation up then?" she posed before standing and leaving the tent. I set aside the tea that was now beginning to make me feel sick again as drinking too much liquid during the first moments of a hangover usually does. Pulling the blanket off my body I noticed that I was still wearing the same clothing from yesterday, minus the armor which someone had taken the liberty of removing before putting me in the bedroll. As I pulled my legs from the blanket that hand tangled around them while I had tossed and turned during the night, my eyes landed on my book innocently lying on the ground beside me. I'd actually just missed putting the tea cup on it.

A stab of hurt shot into my heart as I gazed at the cover, the depiction of Hawke staring back at me with grim determination. Picking it up, I gazed at the artwork almost longingly. What I wouldn't give to get Gaelic back, a piece of me was missing and coupled with the loss of Sophi, it was such a gaping hole, I wasn't sure if I would be able to fill it ever again. I curled inward around the book as the ache from my heart seeped outwards into the rest of my body until I was just one mass of pain.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there in that position but when no one (specifically Dalish) came back to check on me, I assumed it hadn't been more than a couple of minutes. A part of me knew that I couldn't stay in here forever hiding from the world, no matter how much I wanted to. Gaelic wouldn't want me to shut myself away like this anyways, he would want me to live as happily as I could. Still, I found it difficult to muster up the strength to get up (the hangover wasn't helping). Nonetheless, I somehow managed to pull on my boots and get to my feet, even with the world tilting around me like it was on a top. Then carefully, putting one foot in front of the other, I made my way to the entrance and pushed aside the flap.

Sunlight instantly blinded me and started up a pounded headache in between my temples. Groaning with pain, I gently massaged my eyes with the palms of my hands as I tried to alleviate the pain in my head. I really wished I could have a Tylenol right now…

"There you are, 'bout time you got out here. We're packing up camp and moving out, can't afford to stay here for any longer than we already have." Krem informed me rather brusquely and I pulled my hands away from my face to look at him directly as I felt a heavy, armored hand land on my shoulder, "How are you holding up Lashes?" a lump formed in my throat and I swallowed hard to dislodge it but it refused to go away fully and it had to turn away to keep the lieutenant from seeing the tears form in my eyes.

"I'm okay." My voice was surprisingly stable despite the fact that I was practically choking on my own spit in the process, "Do you know where I can find Fenris? I need to talk to him before we head out." I asked somewhat sheepishly hoping that he hadn't heard the rumors that were circulating about him and I. the hand was removed from my shoulder as he gestured towards the edge of camp in the general direction that Gaelic's funeral pyre had been.

"If you're wanting to speak with him, you better hurry. Last I saw, he was packing up and heading out in a grand flurry."

"Why?"

"Apparently some of the reports we salvaged from the 'Vint camp held some information on one of his previous companions and how she may be in trouble. He's on his way back to Val Royeaux now." Was the explanation and I quickly thanked Krem and made my way over to where the white haired elf was supposed to be. Although it was very likely that he could already be gone and I was wasting my time, but I wanted to make sure that me nearly giving him a dry rub with my face was completely unintentional. As I rounded one of the last tents though, I was able to see that he was in fact still here.

"Fenris," I called and watched as he turned from his things in front of him. I made sure to keep some distance between us when I saw a wary look overtake his serious features, "I heard you were leaving, I just wanted to make sure I apologized for… passing out on you last night. It was not my intention, I'm sorry."

"Well you missed the crucial areas and actually only landed on my leg, but it is a comfort to know that you did not intend anything to happen. You have a surprisingly low alcohol tolerance for a mercenary, however." I breathed a sigh of relief when he admitted that he wouldn't be holding a grudge against me,

"Well probably because I have only been one for the better part of three months, or maybe even well into four by this point. I don't know, I've lost track. Gaelic was usually better at that kind of stuff."

"You relied quite heavily on him. What do you plan to do now that he is gone?"

"I don't know." My shoulders slumped and that was when I once again realized that I was still holding the _Champion of Kirkwall_ in my hand. The lump formed in my throat again and I had to fight hard to swallow it this time.

"If you want to survive you'll need a stronger resolve than that, Lashes. Do you really think this is the legacy Gaelic meant to leave with you?" Fenris crossed his arms over his chest and took a wide stance, "Turn to the last page in your book, it would seem he left something else for you. I saw it by accident when I signed your book; I had assumed that you had already read it, but judging by your words and flimsy resolve apparently you have not." I stood for a moment, stunned at his words before I hurriedly did as he said and fumbled open to the very last page. Sure enough, there was a short handwritten message in a chicken scratch font that I recognized immediately.

_Dear Arryn,_

_I know these past weeks have been tough for you, but I just want you to know that I'm so proud of the progress you've made. Losing Sophi was probably the hardest thing you've ever faced but you came out of it so much stronger than any of us could have hoped. I can't wait to see what else you accomplish once you set your mind to it._

_Horns Up._

_Love, Your Brother in arms,_

_Gaelen_

I had to quickly move the book out from underneath me as tears flowed freely down my face. The ache in my chest throbbed with each beat of my heart but it was no longer as sharp as if it had already started to fade. This world wouldn't give me time to mope around and be depressed over his death, I had to accept it and move on as quickly as possible. After all, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger right?

"I want you to ask me that again." I stated in a surprisingly steady voice considering I still had tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Very well, what do you plan to do now that he is gone?"

"I'm going to live. I'm going to survive and live the life that was taken from him. I will get stronger; I will become strong enough to protect everyone that I care about. I am done losing those that I care about." He smirked with satisfaction and lowered his arms as he turned to pick up his things, "I also want you to know that my real name is Arryn, I feel like now that Gaelic is dead that I want there to be someone else to know it."

"I will remember it. Farewell, Arryn."

"Bye, Fenris."

Just like that he was gone and I was left standing alone outside the circle of slowly diminishing tents. Knowing what I needed to do next, however, I straightened my spine and walked determinedly towards the towering horned head that could be seen from any angle. As he put the heaviest supplies into the wagon, the Iron Bull spotted me before I got too close and he gave me a wary and slightly confused stare as I confidently approached him.

"Did you need something, Lashes?"

"I need to talk to you about my double duty around camp." His eyebrow raised questioningly and he crossed his arms over that impressively muscled chest.

"I'm listening."

"I want you to put me on throat cutter duty." There was a beat of absolute silence as he stared down at me in complete disbelief, but I held his stare evenly.

"Why?"

"Gaelic is dead because of me, because I couldn't kill the one monster that mattered. I need to learn how to kill people, even those who beg me not to. It was dumb of me to think that I could get away with only doing half the job." I resolved and I could once again see the surprise overtake his asymmetrical features.

"And you think this is the best way?"

"Well just facing them in battle hasn't really done anything has it? The only time I've really killed people are when it was an accident and I was acting purely on instinct or when I was on throat cutter duty. So yes, I think this will be the best way, or at least it will be the fastest."

"Fine, two weeks, throat cutting. Just make sure you don't burn yourself out."

"Trust me, I won't."

* * *

  **Well I hope you liked it and I am also happy to report that the companion story will finally be updating again as well!**

**Please leave me a comment if you would like, I'd love to hear your thoughts.**


	15. In the Middle

**Hello all, guess who's back with another chapter? Who thought this story was dead? I sure did to be honest, but I felt I should post this as the companion story is close to catching up.**

**I'm also thinking of actually changing this into a ZevranxOC story instead of a BullxOC story. Would anyone be vehemently opposed to that?**

**I have a poll on my profile that you can feel free to vote on if you wish to give your opinion anonymously.**

**Without any more delay—god knows there's been too much already—here's the next chapter!**

* * *

 As the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, my skills improved at a rate no one in the Chargers ever thought possible. Within only a couple more weeks after Gaelic's death, I had completely mastered my daggers and had little trouble besting almost any opponent that was placed before me.

Another couple weeks after that, and I had become proficient enough with stealth techniques that I could implement them with ease in battle. Apparently they were difficult to learn?

Krem continued to instruct me on the ways of wielding a two handed sword and only a couple months after that, I gained a proficiency that quite literally baffled him. Not to mention it alienated me for a little while as people began to think that I'd been lying about my complete lack of skill, but that was immediately thrown aside by the Chief who came to my defense once he noticed something was up.

Speaking of the Chief though, I had continued to share information on the world I came from. I had long since referring to it as 'my' world as such attachments were no longer beneficial for me. This was my home now, whether I liked it or not and the sooner I accepted that, the sooner I'd be able to accept there was no way back.

Although I had to admit, learning about a whole new world that included, races, cultures, political systems and not to mention the calendar year when I was nearly a quarter of the way through my life already, sucked ass. Somehow I managed though, but was pleasantly surprised to learn that my birthday remained the same, August 10th. Not quite sure how I managed to luck that one out, but I wasn't complaining.

We continued to travel across Orlais following the Imperial Highway and at the next tavern we encountered, I made good on my word, and bought the first round of drinks for everyone as we toasted to Gaelic. Needless to say I got right plastered that night and paid dearly for it the next day.

We got a few more jobs within that time frame including giant baiting. That one was fun and boy was that thing  _huge_! It was incredible! I almost got stepped on a couple times which really would have put a damper on my day. Thankfully I was too awesome to let that happen. Although I have to admit, watching it tear that pompous Orlesian noble limb from limb. He wanted it for a party attraction! What an idiot. That was the most exciting job we've had in a long time. Basically since the feather incident in Val Royeaux, but that was a moment I'd love to forget entirely.

I have also garnered the reputation for 'being crazy'. My constant mentioning of "Jesus" and "God" had not gone unnoticed by the Chargers so now they think I've thought up two new deities that don't exist at all. Rocky had become especially fond of calling me "good ol' crazy Lashes" which I found to be a better alternative than a lot of my other nicknames.

Time continued to pass and once again I found myself west of the Frostback mountains. We apparently passed the Dwarven capital of Orzammar but since it was underground I couldn't see its beauty. We also weren't able to visit it as apparently our explosives expert was responsible for destroying a good portion of their historic archives. So obviously, he wasn't exactly welcome back but he told me of how magnificent it was and I dearly wished I would have been able to see it.

As we continued on our way, we encountered the northern tip of what I was informed was Lake Calenhad. We made our way around it and then followed the far shore south past the remains of the Circle Tower. Apparently that was where mages were brought to learn how to learn their craft, but according to many it was more akin to a prison rather than a place of learning and education. Templars were employed to make sure none of them turned into abominations or blood mages. I didn't like the sound of either and was suddenly very grateful I didn't have to worry about being possessed by a demon or being mistaken for someone who used life to fuel my powers.

In our travels we encountered several fighting groups of mages and Templars. They didn't discriminate and fired upon us immediately if we got too close. Perhaps at an earlier time, I would have hesitated to strike back, but now I barely flinched upon drawing my weapons and making a stand against those who hurt me or those I care about. The scent and sight of blood no longer upset me like it once did. My days of emptying my stomach after every little skirmish were long gone.

Killing had become almost second nature by this point, I no longer faltered when it came to the ending blow. The first two weeks of throat cutting I endured after Gaelic had passed were terrible, but I had managed once the Chief had taught me his trick of dehumanizing those I fought with. On the battlefield, there were no people except those I fought alongside. My enemies were just monsters who had taken a human form that needed to be destroyed immediately.

Unfortunately, this technique didn't stop the nightmares from haunting my dreams every night. The dead, wide eyes of the first 'Vint woman I ever killed still plagued me and I imagined they would continue to do so for many years to come.

The rest of the Chargers made it okay though, I just did my best to shake it off. As long as they were by my side I can handle anything.

"So Krem, let me get something straight." Currently we were sitting in a tavern in the small town of Lothering. I was beyond excited because this was the hometown of Hawke and after asking around a little, I'd learned that there were even a few people left who had actually known him! "You first met the Chief in a bar just on the edge of the Imperium right? It was at this point that he took a mace to the face for you right?"

"Yes, Lashes, what's your point?" he replied slightly exasperated. I took another drink from the tankard that was in my hand. I couldn't help but notice that I had everyone's attention at this point as I brought the large mug back down to the table. A grin threatened to split my face from ear to ear.

"So I guess you could say then, on that hit he got a…  _Bull's eye."_  It took a moment for my pun to sink in before as one there were equal choruses of groans and cheering. Of course the Chief was the only one cheering but managed to be loud enough to drown everyone else out. I received several hits in response to my bad pun but none of them were serious and really, I didn't expect any less from them. Laughing and grinning widely at my own joke I defended myself against the onslaught of playful hits landing on my arms.

"You just earned yourself a drink, Lashes!" The chief boomed boisterously as he downed the large container in his hands before calling for another from the waitress walking around tending tables. She approached our table cautiously, eyes shifting from our intimidating leader, to the non-mage elf, and then to me, a mysterious figure with my hood drawn up over my face hiding it completely.

Despite the fact that my hair had faded a little bit and had grown out considerably, I wasn't taking anymore chances with people I didn't know. Unless I was safely in camp with only the Chargers, or by myself, my hood was up and my hair hidden. It had already gotten me into too much trouble and I didn't want to attract anymore unnecessary attention.

Dalish had suggested that we try to dye my hair a more normal color so I wouldn't have to deal with always covering it. Unfortunately, none of the dyes we tried were strong enough to overpower the bright hues. The thought to simply cut it all off has also crossed my mind, but I hated short hair and besides I didn't really mind wearing the hood all that much. I thought it gave me an added level of mystery and intrigue, which pleased me immensely.

* * *

 The battle raged around me, but I made sure to keep to the shadows and the shrubs just as the Chief instructed me to. My job was to make sure no one got away. I had this half of the perimeter. Rocky had placed traps all along the other half to ensure that any who dared to try and flee would soon realize their mistake.

We had been hired by some locals to take out bandits that had been terrorizing their small and vulnerable town. The Chief had been lead to believe that it was just a small group, and the one we had followed out into their camp had been. Unfortunately, there was a much larger force waiting for us than we had thought. Needless to say, all hell had broken loose when our Qunari leader had broken down their shoddy and poorly constructed doors to their fort.

It was rather therapeutic to hear them screaming in terror and pain no doubt in the very same way they had terrorized the villagers.

At least they didn't have to worry about any innocents getting mixed into the fray. Bull, as usual, had set up a perimeter around the area to keep out anyone that didn't belong. It was mostly compromised of new recruits that seemed promising and like they would be long time members of the Bull's Chargers. Although, to be honest, that made me highly uncomfortable. Something about them didn't feel right and I didn't trust them much. Needless to say I hadn't let my hood down around them just yet, not even though they were technically part of my teammates.

That wasn't important right now, though, I needed to concentrate and make sure no one got past me.

As the battle progressed, I had to pick off only a few stragglers trying to cowardly flee, only to be met with the sting of my blade. A few times I heard explosions go off at the far end of the makeshift stronghold and each time a dark grin lifted the corners of my mouth. There wasn't a lot I liked more than hearing the explosions Rocky sets up.

I  _was_  a little disappointed that I wasn't able to take part in the main battle but my job was no less important than theirs and I was able to take pride in it.

The rapid beat of hooves sounded in the battle and I could do little more than watch as a horse thundered past me on the road. Cursing under my breath in a fluid string that would have Bull smiling like a child on Christmas, I pulled from my pouch a vial that contained a golden yellow liquid with a black shimmer that was one of Dalish's experimental concoctions.

She calls it 'Haste'.

Carefully pocketing the now empty container (she scolded me the last time I threw the last one to the ground and shattered it), I took off running after the horse.

Thankfully the road curved around and I would be able to intercept it if I went cross-country over the rougher terrain.

As the potion kicked into effect I could feel my speed picking up exponentially as my hood nearly flew off with my newfound swiftness. Of course the effects were only temporary, but that was probably a good thing as this potion always makes my muscles sore like no tomorrow. It was always a last resort as a result, especially this time as I couldn't all this bandit to escape.

As I cleared the treeline I was using for cover, I spotted the road and upon it was something that made my blood boil.

An unguarded caravan ambled along leisurely.

This was still within the perimeter the Chief had set, which meant the scouts set up around the edge had failed in their job to keep everyone out. Bull would not be happy to learn his orders had been disregarded.

The bandit on the horse approached them at breakneck speed, his horse foaming wildly at the mouth. He hollered an intimidating battle cry and raised his bloodied scimitar above his head.

At this point, the members of the civilian group noticed the crazed lunatic riding towards them, brandishing a weapon that had clearly seen battle. I pushed myself to go faster, if I timed it right I would be able to intercept the bandit before he reached the unprotected caravan of people.

A lone figure jumped from the back of one of the wagons and stood guard at the back of the troupe, drawing a pair of daggers. They wore a deep green cloak that hid their face and the majority of their body. I briefly rolled my eyes, there's no way a small group like that would be able to afford a decent guard. Especially since they only had  _one_  and the person wasn't even well armored!

Grasping the handle of the claymore on my back, I regretted that I would have to kill the horse, but it would be the only way to swiftly save everyone and end the life of the bandit.

Disengaging from my stealth, I emerged in a cloud of black and purple smoke as I swung with all my strength and exactly to my expectation, my blade cut cleanly through the front legs of the equine mount. Screaming in agony, the beast went down in a flail of limbs while the rider was ejected from the saddle in a spectacular fashion.

He landed several feet ahead of his horse and without any hesitation I brought my sword down onto his neck, tip first and watched with satisfaction as it cut cleanly and sunk heavily into the grass below.

"That was a most marvelous display and I dare say I am more than a little aroused." A thickly accented and—most disturbing of all— _familiar_  voice intoned in a slightly throaty manner. "If it is not too presumptuous of me, might I ask the name of our savior?"

"Oh my god." I breathed with utter disbelief as I turned around slowly, afraid that I would be right.

Sure enough, there stood none other than the Antivan assassin who had kidnapped me back in Highever to be forever part of some Orlesian noble's collection of rare valuables. Of course, I had turned the tables on him and convinced him to help me escape in the end. We had parted on good terms all things considered, but out of all the times to run into him again. Irony sure had a sense of humor.

" _Zevran?_ " I exclaimed unable to hold back and as my gray eyes met his golden ones, I watched the recognition dawn on his face.

"Lashes…?" the nickname he had branded me with, ironically sounded foreign on his tongue.

"What are you doing here?" we demanded at the same time and he grinned widely, the curved tattooed lines on his face, wrinkling with his mirth.

"My reason is quite simple; I have been paid to safely escort these merchants to a town just outside of Denerim. Work below someone of my specific talent and caliber, I know, but a man must do what he must do." The elven man answered honestly, his grin not slipping even once, "You have changed since we last saw each other, Lashes. The girl I knew was timid and unsure, but now the woman who has replaced her is strong and decided, I can only imagine what caused such a shift in your character. Where is Gaelic, I see you have strayed far from him," he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, "if he is not careful, I shall whisk you away from under his nose."

"Gaelic is dead." I answered stonily and bluntly. I didn't have the time or energy to waste on beating around the truth. The knowledge that my brother-in-arms was gone and never coming back still hurt, but for the most part I had accepted it. "He died at the hands of a  _Tevinter_  mage."

The Antivan's grin fell from his face faster than I could have imagined possible, "Oh, Arryn, I was not aware. You have my sincerest condolences."

"It's okay, I guess. You didn't know, and for the most part now, I've moved on. But don't call me Arryn," my gaze hardened once again, "that was who I was and she was  _weak_. I'm Lashes now, and she is a strong member of the Bull's Chargers. Speaking of, I need to get back to my post, we're in the middle of an assignment here. Did you also pass any other members coming through here?"

"Why yes, they stopped us a little way back, but let us pass after my employer bribed them." Zevran answered and I breathed a heavy and rage filled sigh.

"Thanks, I'll be sure to tell the Chief. Now hurry up and get out of here!" I ordered them, "There's a town down this road, if you get there you'll be out of the danger zone."

"Are you asking me to retreat from the danger while leaving a beautiful maiden to fight?"

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help but smirk at the elf's antics. He hadn't changed one bit. "Yes, now get your butt moving before I give you a swift kick!"

"Oh you twist my heart, Lashes. Despite your harsh words I cannot help but yearn for you nonetheless." He lamented mournfully as he hopped back onto the wagon as it began to lumber along.

"Yeah, whatever you drama queen." I yelled back as I began to dash back to my post, desperately hoping that no other stragglers had managed to get through.

Thankfully when I returned to the battle in record time—the effects of the potion having no worn off yet—I found it to be over entirely. The bandit's stronghold was up in flames and those that hadn't been killed, were bound securely on their knees, surrounded by more of the Chargers.

Not surprisingly, Bull was the first to see me, "Lashes, there you are, did you manage to catch the bastard on the horse?" his tone suggested he didn't think I would have.

"Yeah, but only thanks to Dalish's potion. I wouldn't have had a chance otherwise, but you'll never believe what I found out!"

He turned towards me, planting his ridiculously large hammer into the ground and leaning on it, "Oh and what's that?"

"I ran into a civilian caravan that had gotten past our perimeter because they bribed the ones we placed out there and that's not the most unbelievable part of this story."

"Maker's  _Balls_." He cursed loudly and with audible rage, "Do I want to hear the rest?"

I sighed heavily and fisted my hands a couple times, this of course gained the attention of a few other members of the Chargers, "Well, what else, Lashes?" Krem prompted and I knew my fate was sealed.

I could feel the blush rise on my face as I imagined the reactions of the rest of the Chargers. "Zevran was hired as a guard for the caravan."

There was a pause as everyone who heard, processed this information. Then a collective "Oooooooooooooh." Went up from the group like a bunch of middle schoolers listening to a classmate talk about a crush.

"Shut up the lot of you!" I cried indignantly as the blush spread to my neck and ears before stomping off, the booming laughter of the Chief following me.

* * *

 Later that night we all occupied the one tavern in the small town, with unlimited free drinks as extra thanks for saving their town. Even though, the Chief had been irritated that the townsfolk had not been entirely forthwith with the size of the bandit's force, but it was easily shadowed by the absolute rage he unleashed upon the poor recruits that had let themselves be bribed into letting civilians pass into the war zone.

Or should I say "ex-new recruits", they were promptly dismissed from our mercenary band. Honestly, I thought they had gotten off easy as I wanted nothing more than to beat the living hell out of them for not only accepting a bribe, but so clearly disobeying the Chief's orders. I knew from personal experience that could lead to a whole load of bad things, death of loved ones being a specific example.

I drank deeply from the tankard of cider I held in my hand. Zevran had joined us at our table and was doing his best to take advantage of our free and unlimited booze service. Although I would never admit it out loud, it felt good to have him around again. Even if it was only temporary. His energy and easily outgoing nature filled a space I didn't know was still empty from Gaelic's death.

The alcohol was beginning to affect me quite strongly and I'm not quite sure when I had arrived in a bedroom alone with the Antivan elf. The soft touches and lingering glances he had been giving her all night obviously had been leading up until this moment.

There had been cat calls and whistles when she left the downstairs, following Zevran up the stairs to a quiet room where they would be afforded some privacy.

"Your hair is just as beautiful as the last time I lay eyes on it." He murmured as he pushed his fingers through the wavy strands as a result of the braid I'd had it in up until now. I closed my eyes, relishing in the feeling of hands playing with my hair.

"You better not be buttering me up into kidnapping me into another pompous ass's house again." I replied somewhat sarcastically.

At that he turned me around and stared deep into my eyes as he gently cupped my face, "I would never make such a mistake again." Then he swooped in and stole a kiss.

It was gentle and curious, almost as if he was asking permission. Much to my own surprise I felt my body responding and accepting him.

Tilting my head to the side, I fit his mouth onto mine more comfortably and wrapped my arms up around his shoulders to dig my fingers into his back. Our bodies pushed together tightly as I felt his hands slide down to my belt and deftly undo the buckle.

The metal thumped lightly to the ground at my feet as my fingers fumbled with the clasp of his cloak. Once it fell from his body, a low groan rumbled the back of his throat as his hands slid lower and lifted my legs up to either side of his waist. I squeaked in surprise upon being lifted off the ground, before my back was pushed against a wall and he was pushing my thigh high boots off my legs.

"I believe I forgot to tell you how undeniably attractive you looked in those boots." He intoned huskily as he began to plant kisses down my neck.

My eyes rolled into the back of my head, and my nails dug deep into his back, oh dear god that felt good. "Have I—ah—ever told you… you talk—ah—too much?" speech was becoming difficult as he pushed himself against me and swirled his tongue around the pulse on my throat.

He chuckled throatily, "No, but I like the sound of you breathless at my touch, Arryn."

"F-fuck you…" I couldn't let any of this go to his head, or he would be insufferable later.

"Only if you want me to." The promise hung in the air between us, a step that would not be able to be taken back if we went forward. His golden eyes looked deep into mine as he waited for my answer.

Physical intimacy I had struggled with for months, ever since the Dorian incident. Visions of his face plagued me in my mind almost every time I thought of the possibility of a one-night stand. I'd had several offers from different men at different taverns. Some had taken rejection well, others had not.

But with Zevran, it seemed to be different. He had already had some of my trust, and it made opening up to him easier than the others who had been strangers. I knew that with him, even if this never happened again, he could help me forget. Forget the horror that was Dorian and my brief time in that Tevinter camp, just as Bull and the Chargers helped me move past the other horrors.

"I-I want you to. I'm tired of being afraid."

"Are you certain? We do not have to continue if you are uncomfortable."

"No, I'm ready."

With another passionate kiss, I lost myself in the pleasure of the night.

* * *

  **So this is something that happened just by itself. Good? Bad? Somewhere in the middle? I'm still undecided if I'll keep this as a one-night stand between them or if I'm gonna turn it into something more.**

**For those who are interested, I have a poll up on my fanfiction account (story is under the same name as here and my pen name is Lady Audentium if you want to give your opinion on this anonymously)**

**Thanks for reading and leave me a review if you'd like! I'd love to hear your thoughts!**


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